Happy August 17th!
posted by Odd tOdd at
9:30 AM
26 Comments
The regular website daily stuff (Annoyances, Recipes, Stuff, Thieves, NeighBads etc) will return on September 1st!
So send in your story or thingee or email or postcard! [email protected] -- Odd Todd PO Box 187 NYC 10014
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The Daily Scan Returns!
Click here to see more of today's letter...
So you got a postcard? Letter? Stuff you think I like? Send it on in!
Odd Todd - PO Box 187 - NY, NY 10014
Done and done! I like postcards with robots!
Perma-link is over there on the right under Daily Stuff!
Coolio!
posted by Odd tOdd at
9:46 AM
12 Comments
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Stroller Dog Chicken
So my neighborhood streets are like sometimes like all cloggy with strollers during the day. Some fancy ones. Some doublewides. Some jalopys. And some regulars whatevers. They're all over the place.
Now I know being a Mom is a way hard job (actually no I don't. in fact, i'm not even close to having any idea about that) but sometimes there's a right-of-way problem I'm sensing from stroller moms. Stroller moms feel like their stroller gets right of way all the time. Like their stroller should be parting the Red Sea of sidewalk people! Look out old man! Heads up crazy lady! Better crutch yourself over to the sidewalk, Crutchy! Look out fake happy couple! I'm plowing through! I'm... Stroller Mommmm!
I agree that if I'm walking down the street by myself I should step aside for a stroller mom. I feel the same way about someone walking down the street with bags of stuff or whatever. I'll step aside. I get it. The more you're dealing with the more rights you should have sidewalkwise. But when it comes to me walking my dog I feel like right of way is sort of debatable.
So lately, I've been testing things out a little by playing a light game of chicken with stroller moms. If we're heading directly toward each other on the sidewalk I take note. Who's gonna flinch first? We make eyecontact. We head straight at each other. And there's one thing I learned. Ain't no stopping stroller moms! They go straight. I always flinch-- then weave with Roscoe. For all I know stroller mom would run him right over.
Yes, I realize the stresses of Motherhood (no I don't) and just getting from point A to point B is a hassle. But that doesn't mean you own the roads (or sidewalks) stroller mom! There's some of us out there that may not be pushing a stroller on wheels but controlling a unpredictable animal with a friggin rope around its neck to steer! It's harder for me to get out of your way than for you to get out of mine! Maybe! You push left. Push right. I yank aside an animal on a leash. You tell me who should be weaving out of the way for who! (or is it whom) Whatever. It's at least a toss-up?
ok bye!
tOdd
Now I know being a Mom is a way hard job (actually no I don't. in fact, i'm not even close to having any idea about that) but sometimes there's a right-of-way problem I'm sensing from stroller moms. Stroller moms feel like their stroller gets right of way all the time. Like their stroller should be parting the Red Sea of sidewalk people! Look out old man! Heads up crazy lady! Better crutch yourself over to the sidewalk, Crutchy! Look out fake happy couple! I'm plowing through! I'm... Stroller Mommmm!
I agree that if I'm walking down the street by myself I should step aside for a stroller mom. I feel the same way about someone walking down the street with bags of stuff or whatever. I'll step aside. I get it. The more you're dealing with the more rights you should have sidewalkwise. But when it comes to me walking my dog I feel like right of way is sort of debatable.
So lately, I've been testing things out a little by playing a light game of chicken with stroller moms. If we're heading directly toward each other on the sidewalk I take note. Who's gonna flinch first? We make eyecontact. We head straight at each other. And there's one thing I learned. Ain't no stopping stroller moms! They go straight. I always flinch-- then weave with Roscoe. For all I know stroller mom would run him right over.
Yes, I realize the stresses of Motherhood (no I don't) and just getting from point A to point B is a hassle. But that doesn't mean you own the roads (or sidewalks) stroller mom! There's some of us out there that may not be pushing a stroller on wheels but controlling a unpredictable animal with a friggin rope around its neck to steer! It's harder for me to get out of your way than for you to get out of mine! Maybe! You push left. Push right. I yank aside an animal on a leash. You tell me who should be weaving out of the way for who! (or is it whom) Whatever. It's at least a toss-up?
ok bye!
tOdd
posted by Odd tOdd at
8:06 PM
155 Comments
Monday, August 13, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The Ruins Broke My Slump
Over the past few years my ability to start AND finish a book has sort of gone out the window. I've mentioned before how I seem to start books ok-- but I usually fade out on them. Or get mad at them. Or decide the writer is a dick. Or boring. Or I get the basic gist and feel like that's enough. Or the book will feel like "required" reading. Even if I finish one, it doesn't push me to pick up another for months.
And lately, I'll be staring at the TV watching crap like The Two Coreys and be like, 'Psst. Dude, you are totally frying your brain out! Can you hear the sizzle sizzling? You need to read a book or something! Asap! Code Dumb! Code Dumb!' But instead of reading I'll just find myself poking around at internet nothingness or reading a magazine.
Anyway, at the airport in Los Angeles, I actually bought a book (really out of respect for books in general-- not really believing I was going to actually read it. I mean, now that there's TV screens on every friggin seat, it's not even possible to read books on a plane anymore. i'll usually just sit there and flip channels and slowly get pissed at television for grinning at me while running butt-twitchy victory laps in my brain.)
The book I bought was called The Ruins by Scott Smith.
Although I actually didn't read any of it on the plane. ( got drunk in Vegas and passed out for most of the red eye flight). When I got home I started reading it and I burned right through the thing. I stayed up one night and bit off 200 pages reading till like 4AM reading away all mental.
Granted, it's not a world changing book or some sort of literary "achievement" blah blah or whatever. And it had its issues. (Some substantial). But this book was chockfull of scary/creepy and gross tension. Enough to make me groan out loud while reading. Gotta like that.
But more importantly it somehow shook my reading slumber wide-awake finally. I've had a bunch of stalled attempts to get back into reading but I feel like this one actually jumpstarted my need to read like a motorcycle kick start vroom thing. So I wanna say thanks to the awful goodness of The Ruins. I'm already onto another book called 'After Dark' (which I'm liking-- not loving... but finishing). It's different enough. And it feels good. And I feel smarter already.
Plus, I'm psyched to leave crud like The Two Coreys in the dumpster of my personal time-- and give my brain something decent to chew on...
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. Thanks again to Odd Todd's Ducky Ducks. Winning ducks are posted here.
PPS. What are you reading? Post here?
And lately, I'll be staring at the TV watching crap like The Two Coreys and be like, 'Psst. Dude, you are totally frying your brain out! Can you hear the sizzle sizzling? You need to read a book or something! Asap! Code Dumb! Code Dumb!' But instead of reading I'll just find myself poking around at internet nothingness or reading a magazine.
Anyway, at the airport in Los Angeles, I actually bought a book (really out of respect for books in general-- not really believing I was going to actually read it. I mean, now that there's TV screens on every friggin seat, it's not even possible to read books on a plane anymore. i'll usually just sit there and flip channels and slowly get pissed at television for grinning at me while running butt-twitchy victory laps in my brain.)
The book I bought was called The Ruins by Scott Smith.
Although I actually didn't read any of it on the plane. (
Granted, it's not a world changing book or some sort of literary "achievement" blah blah or whatever. And it had its issues. (Some substantial). But this book was chockfull of scary/creepy and gross tension. Enough to make me groan out loud while reading. Gotta like that.
But more importantly it somehow shook my reading slumber wide-awake finally. I've had a bunch of stalled attempts to get back into reading but I feel like this one actually jumpstarted my need to read like a motorcycle kick start vroom thing. So I wanna say thanks to the awful goodness of The Ruins. I'm already onto another book called 'After Dark' (which I'm liking-- not loving... but finishing). It's different enough. And it feels good. And I feel smarter already.
Plus, I'm psyched to leave crud like The Two Coreys in the dumpster of my personal time-- and give my brain something decent to chew on...
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. Thanks again to Odd Todd's Ducky Ducks. Winning ducks are posted here.
PPS. What are you reading? Post here?
posted by Odd tOdd at
2:14 PM
32 Comments
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Pictures From Last Week!
Here's a bunch of photos and stuff:
CLICK HERE!
PS. Should I really get involved with Facebook? Is that absolutely necessary?
posted by Odd tOdd at
12:17 PM
25 Comments
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Croc Wearing Douchebag*
So I got Crocs the over the weekend.
These things:
Yes I see that my dog is embarrassed of me.
And I am aware there's alot wrong with Crocs. Kids can wear Crocs and it's no problem. Fun. Girls can wear Crocs and look cute. But dudes in crocs look like... douche bags. I realize this. Dude comes clomping down the street in bright green Crocs and all non-croc wearers who see him gets a thought-bubble over their head. 90% of those bubbles say, 'Douche alert!!' (or some douche variation). I get it. I know.
There's something about Croc wearers that seems arrogant. Like they're willing to walk around the street and blatantly annoy everyone with their ugly footwear. They got a certain pride too. Like football players who run 90 yards in the wrong direction and think they've scored a touchdown.
But the other day I was in a store (wearing backbreaking flat flipflops) and I saw Crocs and I asked the chick behind the counter about em. She said she loves them. I asked her if they had it in size 13. She said they had em in Black, Green, and Orange. I asked for black. I was stunned that they had 13s.
I noticed what she brought out weren't 'Crocs' but some brand called 'Holey Soles' so not sure if they're a cheap knockoff or what but whatever. They were awesome immediately. Probably the most comfortable summery shoes I've ever worn. They got some archness in them and a good mushy support and I'm onboard with these friggin things. Done and done. Sorry.
So yes, I am now one of those clompy douchebags walking around on the street. (Hey they're not orange or anything!). And yes, there might be a sense of pride to me wearing them because I'm sort of psyched that I'm willing to walk down the street looking like a douche for the benefit of my own friggin comfort. I've been thru flipflops, birks, tevas, all sorts of crap and these things are the bestest so far. So F all you hatahs! Gotta keep it real! I love these crocs!
And yes, I'm aware this is the type of douchey post you would expect from a douchey Croc wearer...
ok bye!
tOdd
*PS. Apologies to all croc wearers for calling us douches. I know I'm late to the game with these things and I'm not even cool enough to be a croc douche properly. Didn't mean to sound like some kind of jerk in this post even though I done did.
These things:
Yes I see that my dog is embarrassed of me.
And I am aware there's alot wrong with Crocs. Kids can wear Crocs and it's no problem. Fun. Girls can wear Crocs and look cute. But dudes in crocs look like... douche bags. I realize this. Dude comes clomping down the street in bright green Crocs and all non-croc wearers who see him gets a thought-bubble over their head. 90% of those bubbles say, 'Douche alert!!' (or some douche variation). I get it. I know.
There's something about Croc wearers that seems arrogant. Like they're willing to walk around the street and blatantly annoy everyone with their ugly footwear. They got a certain pride too. Like football players who run 90 yards in the wrong direction and think they've scored a touchdown.
But the other day I was in a store (wearing backbreaking flat flipflops) and I saw Crocs and I asked the chick behind the counter about em. She said she loves them. I asked her if they had it in size 13. She said they had em in Black, Green, and Orange. I asked for black. I was stunned that they had 13s.
I noticed what she brought out weren't 'Crocs' but some brand called 'Holey Soles' so not sure if they're a cheap knockoff or what but whatever. They were awesome immediately. Probably the most comfortable summery shoes I've ever worn. They got some archness in them and a good mushy support and I'm onboard with these friggin things. Done and done. Sorry.
So yes, I am now one of those clompy douchebags walking around on the street. (Hey they're not orange or anything!). And yes, there might be a sense of pride to me wearing them because I'm sort of psyched that I'm willing to walk down the street looking like a douche for the benefit of my own friggin comfort. I've been thru flipflops, birks, tevas, all sorts of crap and these things are the bestest so far. So F all you hatahs! Gotta keep it real! I love these crocs!
And yes, I'm aware this is the type of douchey post you would expect from a douchey Croc wearer...
ok bye!
tOdd
*PS. Apologies to all croc wearers for calling us douches. I know I'm late to the game with these things and I'm not even cool enough to be a croc douche properly. Didn't mean to sound like some kind of jerk in this post even though I done did.
posted by Odd tOdd at
1:15 PM
59 Comments
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
In Defense of 'Todd'
So I was watching New Adventures of Old Christine last night. (Don't look at me that way! I don't have the internet in my friggin apartment right now! What would you do in that situation?! Read?!) Anyway, Christine was out on a date with some dorky guy. Annoying. Awkward. He had diarrhea issues during the date and had to run to the drug store to buy diarrhea medicine. Definitely not getting the girl. And of course, he was named 'Todd'. Again. Todd. And I'm fearing that the name 'Todd' is falling (or already felled?) into that punchline world of Melvins and Dicks and Ralphs and it's disturbing.
I've noticed the devolution of the name Todd over the years. At first it was just a normal name. Actually maybe even cool? Then it became the movies go-to name for the country club snob jerk. Taahhd. And Muffy and Buffy. All that crap. Then it worked its way into my favorite cartoon shows. Todd was the jokey name for the tough guy on Beavis & Butthead (it was funny because he was tough AND a Todd) of course Todd Flanders came along etc.
Now they got some terrible Todd skidding out on some CBS show hustling to the bathroom with diarrhea! This has got to stop! It's not an easy name to begin with! Alot of the time people don't hear it right the first time. Tom? Bob? What? And there's no good nickname to pull from it. No flexibility! It's not like us Todds been on cool name easy street!
But how do you turn a name around when it starts to slide? It's like falling into the default joke name and I ain't digging it! I like my name alot! I don't need this crap! So I'm just gonna put the request out to the TV and Movie people. PLEASE stop abusing my name! Name a normal person 'Todd' for once! He doesn't have to be cool! Just normal guy! Or better yet! How bout a hero Todd? There's enough hero Jacks don't you think? Time to change it up!
But at least please stop making fun of Todd! Some of us have to walk around introducing ourselves that way! Every day!
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. Check your own name popularity here.
PPS. RoscoeCam is live again!
I've noticed the devolution of the name Todd over the years. At first it was just a normal name. Actually maybe even cool? Then it became the movies go-to name for the country club snob jerk. Taahhd. And Muffy and Buffy. All that crap. Then it worked its way into my favorite cartoon shows. Todd was the jokey name for the tough guy on Beavis & Butthead (it was funny because he was tough AND a Todd) of course Todd Flanders came along etc.
Now they got some terrible Todd skidding out on some CBS show hustling to the bathroom with diarrhea! This has got to stop! It's not an easy name to begin with! Alot of the time people don't hear it right the first time. Tom? Bob? What? And there's no good nickname to pull from it. No flexibility! It's not like us Todds been on cool name easy street!
But how do you turn a name around when it starts to slide? It's like falling into the default joke name and I ain't digging it! I like my name alot! I don't need this crap! So I'm just gonna put the request out to the TV and Movie people. PLEASE stop abusing my name! Name a normal person 'Todd' for once! He doesn't have to be cool! Just normal guy! Or better yet! How bout a hero Todd? There's enough hero Jacks don't you think? Time to change it up!
But at least please stop making fun of Todd! Some of us have to walk around introducing ourselves that way! Every day!
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. Check your own name popularity here.
PPS. RoscoeCam is live again!
posted by Odd tOdd at
10:24 AM
32 Comments
Monday, August 6, 2007
Way Too Wordy Update (*now with extra words)!
Ok I finally made it back from LA. My computer hasn't arrived yet. I'd log on to track it but I can't find the receipt with the number. Yeah it's like that...
Anyway, the wireless internet connection I was stealing last night is now gone so I'm at this place called 'Tea Lounge' around the corner from me. I couldn't stand the idea of going to Starbucks. Every single person in this place is sitting in front of a laptop. Mostly new macs. I'm rocking the Toshiba 50-Z or something.
There was no seat that was like away from people so I'm sort of scrunched in between two people and I made them both move over a little and I feel uncomfortable like they're mad at me for bursting into their private space, throwing elbows and being like, "Whazzap dawgs! New guy in the house! Move over, Rovers!'
I'm eating a bagel. Everything with cream cheese.
Anyway....
LEAVING LA
I got to the airport and stupided out with my carry-on and had my Leathermen knife in there. The man took it away. I was sad. I got to the plane and knocked on it 3x due to my OCD. I was sitting up near the front (reading The Ruins which is fantabulous. i'm now on page 300.) when I heard a bit of a commotion. Some chick who was getting on the plane was being all loud. I looked up and saw this skinny skinny girl with boobs and high high heels clomp onto the plane wearing a pink tube top and like pink tube... skirt. It looked like two pieces of the exact same thing. She came onboard with some sleazy looking dude and she asked if she could say hi to the pilots. The stewardesses agreed. She poked her head in the cabin and said, 'Hi Guys!' They mumbled back hellos. Then she pranced down the aisle all eyes on the plane on her. The sleazy dude followed along with big sneaky grin on his face like he just ate a canary.... or something.
VEGAS BABY VEGAS
I had a stop over flight in Vegas which gave me over three hours to kill. I've never been to Vegas before (except for a shorter stop over flight where I gambled in the airport) and I decided that I needed to roll the dice on missing my plane and go into the city. I went outside the airport and waited for a taxi. I was assigned taxi stand #13. I figure that wasn't such a good sign but I figured it was like maybe getting bad luck out of the way... or something?
In the cab ride there I mapped out my plan. I didn't want to just kill time dicking around on video poker. I wanted to win BIG. Why not just go for it? I wanted to extract $5000 from that stupid place and go home all psyched. My plan was, I'd take $100 and play at a $25 blackjack table until I turned $100 into $500. Then I'd take my $500 to the $50 table and turn THAT into $5000! All I needed to do is hit a big roll... or two.
At first the plan went well. First four hands in a row I won. Bang bang bang bang. I just turned $100 to $200! A smart person would walk away a winner-- but that's not my style, baby. I felt the flow flowing and on impulse put down a $50 bet. The dealer (who kept calling me 'Brother') gave me an ace... and then another ace. I had to split the aces. Another $50! $100 on the table! No big whoop! I was up! I envisioned two face cards giving me double blackjacks. It would be the official kickoff to my $5000 jackpot reality. Instead I got a 6 and a (worst card of all) 4. The dealer pulled 20 on five cards. He took my hundred away. Click clack. Done done. Then within a minute or so he took my other hundred away. Click clack cluck. The dealer said, "Sorry, brother..."
After a half-assed half-drunk failed attempt to make my original $100 back and got click clacked, I ended up at the glorious $1 bet Wonderwheel chatting it up with a nice dealer and the rest of the loser squad. I threw away a final $20. But the dealer was nice and friendly and didn't call me 'Brother'...
ARRIVAL AT JFK
When I got to JFK I wandered off the plane bleary-eyed. I sort of half-slept half-drunk the whole way home. Us passengers all shuffled around the luggage conveyor machine in baggage claim like traveler zombies. The luggage being the brains.
The bags started coming. I was waiting on two. The first one came right away. I made the top ten! I was psyched! They had to be like together-ish, right? Half-hour later I'm watching one lonely bag spin round and round in disbelief. It wasn't my bag. Not even close! And there were no other bags coming. I was like, NOOO!!! My bag! Not here! No good! Very no good! I rifled through my head to try and place what the hell was in the bag putting imaginary labels on everything marked 'Gone forever'.
I rationalized that it got flagged in security because it was loaded up with bizarre looking computer wires and my graphics tablet and USB adapters and microphones and crap like that. Plus all my toothpaste and crap. AKA bomb. I pictured the government guys going through it extra throughougly to make sure it wasn't splody. A reassuring thought.(Of course I also pictured an angry gorilla in some cage jumping up and down on it while drunk baggage handlers flucked jellybeans at him.) But whatever...
I checked in with the Delta lost-luggage dude (not an easy job) who took down my info and gave me no info about what happened with my bag. He told me it should be delivered to my place soon and they would call to arrange delivery.
Two days later it showed up unannounced. I was psyched to see it. It was slighty wet and wrapped in tape like a mummy but it was home! On the handle was a tag that read, 'Perfect Delivery'. Swear.
GETTING ROSCOE
After dropping off my stuff I raced over to get Mr. Roscoe. I was really excited to see him. I actually looked at cellphone pictures of him on the planeride back. I showed up at the doggie boarding place and they told me he was a good boarded and was alot of fun and he made lots of friends. They said he'll be right out. I was nervous he'd fergetted his dad.
Couple of minutes later, Roscoe comes out looking wet from the pool and races right at me and jumps up on me. I was like, 'You remember!' I shrunched down and started getting lots of kisses on the face. I was really happy he remembered me and was giving me the big hello. Almost cried. I love dog. Dog loves me.
But while settling up with the doggie people, some chick walked into the office. She saw Roscoe and announced how cute he is. She went all squealy bent down to say hellos and I noticed that Roscoe's hellos to her (aka total stranger) was suspiciously close to the hellos for me. I wrote it off as him just being happy in general and was happy he was happy. (but maybe a devious way of getting back at me for leaving him in a strange place for a month without being a dick about it?)
KENNEL COUGH
On the walk back with Roscoe I was happy because Roscoe remembered all his favorite places. The deli that he likes for no other reason except for the fact they allow him inside. The dry cleaners with the treats. The restaurant where he gets bread and fries. And where I live. But he seemed sort of tired and a few times he made coughing noises like he was coughing up something but not doing it right. I remember my old family dog used to do stuff like that sometimes when she got back from the kennel. I was 99% sure it was kennel cough.
Roscoe is all up to date with his shots and stuff and apparently this is just a thing dogs get sometimes and it'll take a week or so to clear up. I'm bringing him to the vet today to double check on stuff but he's definitely sort of sluggerish and half-fevery looking. Other than that the same exact dog. Same exact me.
RoscoeCam will be up and running when the big computer gets back.
HAPPY TO BE HOME
I haven't been away for that long of a stretch in a while and I'm totally happy to be home. I have lots of pictures but my stupid laptop can't even understand a friggin camera without software and didn't want to deal. Thanks again for being there while I was away.
And, major thanks again to all the people who bought a duck or quack pack for the Million Dollar Duck Race. All the Odd Todd Ducky Ducks raised over $2000 for Special Olympics. The #1 TEAM this year! Coolio!
There's still time to buy a duck if you want in. 5PM cutoff I think. Graphic link is over there...
Sorry for all the words. Off to the vet!
ok bye!
tOdd
Anyway, the wireless internet connection I was stealing last night is now gone so I'm at this place called 'Tea Lounge' around the corner from me. I couldn't stand the idea of going to Starbucks. Every single person in this place is sitting in front of a laptop. Mostly new macs. I'm rocking the Toshiba 50-Z or something.
There was no seat that was like away from people so I'm sort of scrunched in between two people and I made them both move over a little and I feel uncomfortable like they're mad at me for bursting into their private space, throwing elbows and being like, "Whazzap dawgs! New guy in the house! Move over, Rovers!'
I'm eating a bagel. Everything with cream cheese.
Anyway....
LEAVING LA
I got to the airport and stupided out with my carry-on and had my Leathermen knife in there. The man took it away. I was sad. I got to the plane and knocked on it 3x due to my OCD. I was sitting up near the front (reading The Ruins which is fantabulous. i'm now on page 300.) when I heard a bit of a commotion. Some chick who was getting on the plane was being all loud. I looked up and saw this skinny skinny girl with boobs and high high heels clomp onto the plane wearing a pink tube top and like pink tube... skirt. It looked like two pieces of the exact same thing. She came onboard with some sleazy looking dude and she asked if she could say hi to the pilots. The stewardesses agreed. She poked her head in the cabin and said, 'Hi Guys!' They mumbled back hellos. Then she pranced down the aisle all eyes on the plane on her. The sleazy dude followed along with big sneaky grin on his face like he just ate a canary.... or something.
VEGAS BABY VEGAS
I had a stop over flight in Vegas which gave me over three hours to kill. I've never been to Vegas before (except for a shorter stop over flight where I gambled in the airport) and I decided that I needed to roll the dice on missing my plane and go into the city. I went outside the airport and waited for a taxi. I was assigned taxi stand #13. I figure that wasn't such a good sign but I figured it was like maybe getting bad luck out of the way... or something?
In the cab ride there I mapped out my plan. I didn't want to just kill time dicking around on video poker. I wanted to win BIG. Why not just go for it? I wanted to extract $5000 from that stupid place and go home all psyched. My plan was, I'd take $100 and play at a $25 blackjack table until I turned $100 into $500. Then I'd take my $500 to the $50 table and turn THAT into $5000! All I needed to do is hit a big roll... or two.
At first the plan went well. First four hands in a row I won. Bang bang bang bang. I just turned $100 to $200! A smart person would walk away a winner-- but that's not my style, baby. I felt the flow flowing and on impulse put down a $50 bet. The dealer (who kept calling me 'Brother') gave me an ace... and then another ace. I had to split the aces. Another $50! $100 on the table! No big whoop! I was up! I envisioned two face cards giving me double blackjacks. It would be the official kickoff to my $5000 jackpot reality. Instead I got a 6 and a (worst card of all) 4. The dealer pulled 20 on five cards. He took my hundred away. Click clack. Done done. Then within a minute or so he took my other hundred away. Click clack cluck. The dealer said, "Sorry, brother..."
After a half-assed half-drunk failed attempt to make my original $100 back and got click clacked, I ended up at the glorious $1 bet Wonderwheel chatting it up with a nice dealer and the rest of the loser squad. I threw away a final $20. But the dealer was nice and friendly and didn't call me 'Brother'...
ARRIVAL AT JFK
When I got to JFK I wandered off the plane bleary-eyed. I sort of half-slept half-drunk the whole way home. Us passengers all shuffled around the luggage conveyor machine in baggage claim like traveler zombies. The luggage being the brains.
The bags started coming. I was waiting on two. The first one came right away. I made the top ten! I was psyched! They had to be like together-ish, right? Half-hour later I'm watching one lonely bag spin round and round in disbelief. It wasn't my bag. Not even close! And there were no other bags coming. I was like, NOOO!!! My bag! Not here! No good! Very no good! I rifled through my head to try and place what the hell was in the bag putting imaginary labels on everything marked 'Gone forever'.
I rationalized that it got flagged in security because it was loaded up with bizarre looking computer wires and my graphics tablet and USB adapters and microphones and crap like that. Plus all my toothpaste and crap. AKA bomb. I pictured the government guys going through it extra throughougly to make sure it wasn't splody. A reassuring thought.(Of course I also pictured an angry gorilla in some cage jumping up and down on it while drunk baggage handlers flucked jellybeans at him.) But whatever...
I checked in with the Delta lost-luggage dude (not an easy job) who took down my info and gave me no info about what happened with my bag. He told me it should be delivered to my place soon and they would call to arrange delivery.
Two days later it showed up unannounced. I was psyched to see it. It was slighty wet and wrapped in tape like a mummy but it was home! On the handle was a tag that read, 'Perfect Delivery'. Swear.
GETTING ROSCOE
After dropping off my stuff I raced over to get Mr. Roscoe. I was really excited to see him. I actually looked at cellphone pictures of him on the planeride back. I showed up at the doggie boarding place and they told me he was a good boarded and was alot of fun and he made lots of friends. They said he'll be right out. I was nervous he'd fergetted his dad.
Couple of minutes later, Roscoe comes out looking wet from the pool and races right at me and jumps up on me. I was like, 'You remember!' I shrunched down and started getting lots of kisses on the face. I was really happy he remembered me and was giving me the big hello. Almost cried. I love dog. Dog loves me.
But while settling up with the doggie people, some chick walked into the office. She saw Roscoe and announced how cute he is. She went all squealy bent down to say hellos and I noticed that Roscoe's hellos to her (aka total stranger) was suspiciously close to the hellos for me. I wrote it off as him just being happy in general and was happy he was happy. (but maybe a devious way of getting back at me for leaving him in a strange place for a month without being a dick about it?)
KENNEL COUGH
On the walk back with Roscoe I was happy because Roscoe remembered all his favorite places. The deli that he likes for no other reason except for the fact they allow him inside. The dry cleaners with the treats. The restaurant where he gets bread and fries. And where I live. But he seemed sort of tired and a few times he made coughing noises like he was coughing up something but not doing it right. I remember my old family dog used to do stuff like that sometimes when she got back from the kennel. I was 99% sure it was kennel cough.
Roscoe is all up to date with his shots and stuff and apparently this is just a thing dogs get sometimes and it'll take a week or so to clear up. I'm bringing him to the vet today to double check on stuff but he's definitely sort of sluggerish and half-fevery looking. Other than that the same exact dog. Same exact me.
RoscoeCam will be up and running when the big computer gets back.
HAPPY TO BE HOME
I haven't been away for that long of a stretch in a while and I'm totally happy to be home. I have lots of pictures but my stupid laptop can't even understand a friggin camera without software and didn't want to deal. Thanks again for being there while I was away.
And, major thanks again to all the people who bought a duck or quack pack for the Million Dollar Duck Race. All the Odd Todd Ducky Ducks raised over $2000 for Special Olympics. The #1 TEAM this year! Coolio!
There's still time to buy a duck if you want in. 5PM cutoff I think. Graphic link is over there...
Sorry for all the words. Off to the vet!
ok bye!
tOdd
posted by Odd tOdd at
10:21 AM
28 Comments
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Friggin Annoying Interwebnessmess!!!
Friggin home safe and sound but I still can't get on the interwebs like a normal nerd because my computer still isn't here. I tried to get hook up onlineness with my clunky 20lb laptop from 1975 via cable modem-- but I couldn't find the motorola software disc that explains to my stupid laptop what my modem is saying. So I got the ol' wireless card jammed in the side of this thing and it's on a 'very low' connection right now that I'm stealing from my neighbor 'MissKitty'.(that's her wireless handle). Thank you MissKitty. 10-4.
But much to tell!! So tomorrow morning (if need be) I'm gonna sit in stupid Starbucks with a decent connection all friggin day and catch up here:
Tomorrow tune in for:
My 3 hours in Vegas (Hard Rock Casino) and how my patented 'lightning round' gambling strategy worked out. Did I actually turn $100 into $5000 in under two hours? You tell me!
The non-stop fun of the stupid airline losing my stupid luggage (in its defense the bag was LOADED with crazy wires and weird computer parts) The luggage did show up yesterday.
My very happy (w/ funny mixed feelings) reunion with Roscoe finally . (btw he has 'kennel cough' but not too bad. Mild case.) Going to the vet tomorrow...
PLUS!
Lots of pictures! New weekly poll! AND I plan to see the Bored Ultimatum tomorrow so maybe a new movay review too!
Sorry for the delay in getting back on my feet over here but I am online now in one way or another and everything should return to 'normal' in the next couple o days.
Roscoe is sleeping at my feet dreaming of jumping fish and it's nice to be home.
Good vibes to y'all totally! Til tomorrow...
tOdd
PS. Oh by the way, I bought Crocs and I totally love them! I don't care how stupid and dorked out terrible I look!
But much to tell!! So tomorrow morning (if need be) I'm gonna sit in stupid Starbucks with a decent connection all friggin day and catch up here:
Tomorrow tune in for:
My 3 hours in Vegas (Hard Rock Casino) and how my patented 'lightning round' gambling strategy worked out. Did I actually turn $100 into $5000 in under two hours? You tell me!
The non-stop fun of the stupid airline losing my stupid luggage (in its defense the bag was LOADED with crazy wires and weird computer parts) The luggage did show up yesterday.
My very happy (w/ funny mixed feelings) reunion with Roscoe finally . (btw he has 'kennel cough' but not too bad. Mild case.) Going to the vet tomorrow...
PLUS!
Lots of pictures! New weekly poll! AND I plan to see the Bored Ultimatum tomorrow so maybe a new movay review too!
Sorry for the delay in getting back on my feet over here but I am online now in one way or another and everything should return to 'normal' in the next couple o days.
Roscoe is sleeping at my feet dreaming of jumping fish and it's nice to be home.
Good vibes to y'all totally! Til tomorrow...
tOdd
PS. Oh by the way, I bought Crocs and I totally love them! I don't care how stupid and dorked out terrible I look!
posted by Odd tOdd at
11:01 PM
21 Comments
Friday, August 3, 2007
Message from tOdd's friend :)
Well, tOdd is back in NYC!
safe and sound
everything is good
Roscoe is fine
tOdd will be offline for a couple more days and will post a full update when he is back online
Roscoe is a good boy and is super happy that tOdd is home
PS
He won't be back online until he gets his lost luggage - all his computer cables and wires are in there
safe and sound
everything is good
Roscoe is fine
tOdd will be offline for a couple more days and will post a full update when he is back online
Roscoe is a good boy and is super happy that tOdd is home
PS
He won't be back online until he gets his lost luggage - all his computer cables and wires are in there
posted by Odd tOdd at
3:41 PM
16 Comments
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Almost Home
Hey!
On Thursday night I'm finally heading home. I can't believe it's been a month already. I'll be packing up my computer and shipping back to Brooklyn later today (shipping "ground" this time so I don't get mugged by UPS again $) -- so this might be the last entry for a couple days maybe. Unless something major or majorly weird happens.
I'm very ready to be back home and I really do miss Roscoe pretty bad (picking him up Friday AM!) And I'm psyched to get back into the swing of sitting at home and just doing what I do (or pretend to do... or not doat all). And be around all my stuff. And see family and friends etc. I did officially get a little homesick today.
I have another bunch of photos in my camera but I'll take smore pics here in Caly and my stopover stint in Vegas (3 hours!) and put em all up when I get home.
Apologies if I've seemed a little secretive about what I've been doing out here in LA but to be honest I'm not all that sure either. Basically, I've just met with a bunch of TV people and told/showed them what I do to see if they wanna do stuff. So we'll see if they wanna maybe-- and it's like that sorta.
Regardless of whatever, I'll be putting the site back to "normal" sometime this month and will be busy working away on new toonages and gameages that take too long. Stuff is in the works totally. Daily stuff will all be returning soon too! So type up and send in your (Annoyances, Recipes, Thieves, Gross bug stories, and Bad Neighbor stories!) And send em in to [email protected]. Or send a postcard to PO Box 187 NYC 10014!
Anyway, thanks for hanging in there with me. I know my site gets flaky sometimes and has ups and downs and some peeps seemed to like this blog thang and others maybe wernt nuts for it. But I appreciate your stopping in and checking in and sending good vibes and reading what I wrote about stuff (even though sometimes when I type stuff I go on and on for too long and you might wish that I would just get to the point and not blah blah keep going after a point has been made because then it just gets boring to keep reading something that just doesn't seem to end and you might be like, 'what the hell with this guy can't he just write a couple paragraphs and get it over with why does he have to babble about nothing all extra when he was writing about nothing to begin with-- can't he just learn to end a sentence especially when his grammar sucks!?' I totally hear what you're saying with that and I will certainly do my best with that so I don't overwrite and go on and on and on and blah and blah and blah with the extra words and typing when I totally don't need to. I actually think I'm getting better at it!)
Good vibes to y'all!
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. I'm scared Roscoe forgot who I am or he's just gonna be mad at me. I'm trying to downplay the emotionality expectation of the reunion...
PPS. Bye LA!
On Thursday night I'm finally heading home. I can't believe it's been a month already. I'll be packing up my computer and shipping back to Brooklyn later today (shipping "ground" this time so I don't get mugged by UPS again $) -- so this might be the last entry for a couple days maybe. Unless something major or majorly weird happens.
I'm very ready to be back home and I really do miss Roscoe pretty bad (picking him up Friday AM!) And I'm psyched to get back into the swing of sitting at home and just doing what I do (or pretend to do... or not doat all). And be around all my stuff. And see family and friends etc. I did officially get a little homesick today.
I have another bunch of photos in my camera but I'll take smore pics here in Caly and my stopover stint in Vegas (3 hours!) and put em all up when I get home.
Apologies if I've seemed a little secretive about what I've been doing out here in LA but to be honest I'm not all that sure either. Basically, I've just met with a bunch of TV people and told/showed them what I do to see if they wanna do stuff. So we'll see if they wanna maybe-- and it's like that sorta.
Regardless of whatever, I'll be putting the site back to "normal" sometime this month and will be busy working away on new toonages and gameages that take too long. Stuff is in the works totally. Daily stuff will all be returning soon too! So type up and send in your (Annoyances, Recipes, Thieves, Gross bug stories, and Bad Neighbor stories!) And send em in to [email protected]. Or send a postcard to PO Box 187 NYC 10014!
Anyway, thanks for hanging in there with me. I know my site gets flaky sometimes and has ups and downs and some peeps seemed to like this blog thang and others maybe wernt nuts for it. But I appreciate your stopping in and checking in and sending good vibes and reading what I wrote about stuff (even though sometimes when I type stuff I go on and on for too long and you might wish that I would just get to the point and not blah blah keep going after a point has been made because then it just gets boring to keep reading something that just doesn't seem to end and you might be like, 'what the hell with this guy can't he just write a couple paragraphs and get it over with why does he have to babble about nothing all extra when he was writing about nothing to begin with-- can't he just learn to end a sentence especially when his grammar sucks!?' I totally hear what you're saying with that and I will certainly do my best with that so I don't overwrite and go on and on and on and blah and blah and blah with the extra words and typing when I totally don't need to. I actually think I'm getting better at it!)
Good vibes to y'all!
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. I'm scared Roscoe forgot who I am or he's just gonna be mad at me. I'm trying to downplay the emotionality expectation of the reunion...
PPS. Bye LA!
posted by Odd tOdd at
10:11 AM
28 Comments
