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Wondering About Waxy Swirls and Mini Spices


Anyway, so yesterday I was walking around and I passed by a parked car that had white waxy looking swirls all over it. Like someone decided they were going to wax the car and they swirled it up with turtle wax or whatever-- and then like let it sit in the sun or something and it burned right in permanent style. Like they waxed on-- but didn't wax off?

I guess this happens when someone doesn't read the car wax directions properly? Like they just do the swirls and figure they're done but when it dries they're like all 'Oh no! I done roont it!' (Is that what it is?) It's surprising that someone who cares enough about their car to wax it themselves doesn't know how to wax it right. Especially when they must have seen wax roont cars with swirly swirls before-- and wondered how somebody could have done something like that?

(Or is this something else altogether? And I'm a car idiot? Or maybe you don't even know what the hell I'm even talking about.)


Once in a blue moon I'll cook something and the recipe will call for fresh spices. Maybe parsley. Maybe like dill or garlic. And here's the thing... I don't need that much friggin parsley!! Or dill!! Or garlic! Why is it all sold in essentially bulk quantities! I'm only cooking once but I'm like forced to buy a crazy amount! Imagine if I did that with the chicken! What am I gonna do with 50 stalks of dill? Or a lettuce head full of parsley? Hey! I don't even put it in the fridge and wait for it to go bad-- out of respect! I break off what I need and then immediately throw the whole thing in the friggin garbage! I know I'll never use it! (Except the garlic that sits there until it turns into a plant). I don't understand the illusion people have when they put something in the fridge when they no for a fact it'll never be eaten or used.

So here's what I think. It's time for you shrinkoid marketing wizards to develop and sell mini-sized portions of fresh spices! Bonsai tree sized parsley! Dill that only grows in little sprigs or something! And cherry tomato sized garlic! Package it smaller! Enough for one recipe! And stop this spice wasting that's going on!

Get on this now or else I'm gonna start stealing little bits of spice from the store! Just enough for me! I'll be a friggin spice thief! And do you realize how embarrassing it would be if I got caught and arrested and thrown jail where I'd have to explain to those criminal guys I was in there with them for stealing dill?! Doesn't get more pussy than that crimewise!!

ok bye!


Anonymous mat said...

I think that when people Wax-On with way too much wax and then try to Wax-Off, It looks O.K.....For a while. Then later the remaining swirly wax sort of returns..Or shows up better in the Sun.
Single-Use packaged spices??? THAT'S BRILLIANT!!!!! Herbs and spices always fresh! No more waste of expensive imported seeds and roots and things! Great idea, man.

7/24/2008 10:05 AM  
Blogger John said...

My wife grows parsley and uses it in her tomato sauce. At the end of the summer, she dices up a huge quantity, then adds some water, then puts it all into ice cube trays. Once its frozen, she puts the cubes into a zip lock back. Then, when its time to make sauce, or soup, she just pops a frozen cube into the pot.

I dont know how large your freezer is, but this might be a better solution than throwing away a bunch of parsley you buy at the store.

Oh, works with cilantro too.

7/24/2008 10:07 AM  
OpenID kickintehrs said...

Todd, occasionally when you wax a car that hasn't been waxed in a while, especially using synthetic wax, it can take up to 3 coats to get it uniform enough to no show the application swirls. If you're waxing your car for the first time in a while, you should start with a coarse natural wax (cleaner wax) then move up to the synthetic microwax or polish.

...or they could have just forgotten to wax-off

7/24/2008 10:30 AM  
Anonymous annegret said...

You know, you could always grow a little parsley and basil and such in small pots on your balcony.

7/24/2008 10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The grocery store (Kroger) near me sells spices in smaller packs. You can also buy garlic in the jar.

Roont It! Classic!

7/24/2008 10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can also send your left-over spices to me. No really. Call it "Spice aid for the unemployed"
Oh - wait - I'm an anon-o-mouse so you can't.

There that's me making sure yours isn't the most pointless post.

7/24/2008 10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What ever happened to the Spice channel?

7/24/2008 10:55 AM  
Anonymous ALON said...

When I was single I used to go to a supermarket that had a HUGE salad bar-type area, which sold by weight, so I'd get a couple sticks (?) of celery, cilantro, bell peppers, that sort of thing. Twas super cool because it all was already washed and chopped and ready to go! Garlic-wise I'd buy a little jar of pre-chopped which came like in yummy olive oil or something. That would last years and years in the fridge no problem. It is all more expensive than buying (and using) the whole pepper, garlic head, celery stalk (??), etc., but I'd rather spend a little more than waste food.

7/24/2008 11:09 AM  
Anonymous Jean_Phoenix said...

We have a grocery store in Phoenix that has all of the spices in bulk so that you can buy a tablespoon of any spice that the have - very convenient.

7/24/2008 11:34 AM  
Anonymous Kevin said...

Or, you could just use dry herbs and spices...

Use 1/3 of the amount of dry stuff that you would for the fresh... so basically, if it calls for a tablespoon of chopped rosemary, you use 1/3 tablespoon of dry rosemary. Just always remember to add the spices at the very end, otherwise they lose their flavor.

And BTW, garlic isn't a spice or herb, and everything you mentioned are all herbs (except, of course, the garlic, which we previously discussed)

7/24/2008 11:45 AM  
Blogger Chance said...

This post has been removed by the author.

7/24/2008 12:01 PM  
Blogger Chance said...

TSP Spices does packets by the teaspoon. They are going up against McCormick, the iron fisted czar of the seasoning empire.

7/24/2008 12:02 PM  
Anonymous EVE said...

Holy crap!!! What a waste!!!! Imagine all those packets in a random landfill somewhere! Poor Wall-E... It's amazing to me what people sacrifice for the sake of "convenience". Like it is too much of a hassle to have a tablespoon and do your own measuring.

7/24/2008 1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They also make little frozen spice ice cubes. They're like little one ounce ice cubes that have garlic or dill or any other spice in them. You just keep them in your freezer and when you need some you just pop a cube in and you're good.

7/24/2008 2:27 PM  
Blogger Chance said...

I guess it depends on how you look at it. Either you waste small plastic packets of occasional cooking or a whole plastic container of stale sage, cayenne, etc. If you frequently cook, then these are definitely a waste.

7/24/2008 2:39 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

Todd, the grocery stores make money by selling us dopes large quantities of spices that they know we will throw in the trash.

7/24/2008 4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check out Whole Foods or a specialty produce market. They've got bulk spices you can buy a teaspoon at a time. I've currently got dill weed, mustard seed, cardamom, etc. all languishing away in my cupboard and probably just needing to be thrown away.

7/24/2008 5:04 PM  
Blogger Rams said...

Some people just don't know any better to not leave the wax on the car - some of those people even can't figure it out after having done it once in the sun like that!!

Better than putting the wax on in swirls, put in on and remove it in straight long strokes if you're doing it by hand. That way whatever streaks that you may have put into the finish by applying the wax aren't as readily seen - if you put it on in swirls you can see the swirls at ALL different angles; if you apply the wax in straight strokes then if any streaks are left behind you'll only see those streaks from a FEW different angles.

7/24/2008 6:14 PM  
Anonymous MsM said...

I also have the chopped up garlic in a jar. So much easier. And thanks to that person for the tip on the parsley etc. (Even though you told Todd, I'm going to steal the idea. You can chop up fresh green pepper & put it in a freezer bag for use later, like in sloppy joe. Just double bag it or it will smell up the rest of the freezer. You can also slice small zucchini into coin sizes & freeze in ziploc bags to add to casseroles. Yeah, I'm Martha Stewart, what?

7/24/2008 10:42 PM  
Blogger ~ jen ~ said...


The store where I shop has freeze-dried spices in jars, that are really good, and closest to fresh as you can get. Chopped garlic, dill, basil, chives, whatever. The brand is Litehouse, in the produce section near the lettuce and parsley (at my store). Infinite shelf life, I assume. No dates on the labels I have here at home... and see if anyplace near you carries it!

7/25/2008 12:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about an aerogarden?

7/25/2008 2:10 PM  
Blogger 伊波nora said...

Another herb idea.. why not check out some recipes that NEED a whole bunch of parsley/w.h.y.? You might like Turkish salad, or dill sauce. Spaghetti sauce can usually handle tons of spices and garlic. Throw everything in, see what happens. Or heck, just bake your leftover garlic with some olive oil. You don't need one of those garlic baking things. For rosemary, even in your neighborhood there's probably some growing. It grows like crazy, no need to feel guilty for trimming a little bit. I've found it easily in Tokyo and London.. NY should be the same.

7/25/2008 7:32 PM  
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