Shirt Button Babble + SF Trip!
So tonight I went out to dinner and I wore a button-down shirt. And, of course, I was hit with the shirt button decision. Whether I should button all the way up the next to the top button (nerdy) or leave the top two buttons open (not nerdy). Yadda, I know this 'button' issue was covered on Seinfeld and I don't wanna be all Seinfeldy but here's the deal because I have an extra issue with it...
I have a hairy chest. And hairy chest guys have a different issue because going public as a hairy chest guy makes sort of a statement beyond the shirt being open. That statement being, 'I have a big hairy chest. Look! See? I'm a wild and crazy guy!'
In alot of ways (and no ways at all) having a hairy chest is like having big boobs. It's (they) are either out. Or covered. And the more cleavage that is shown the more attention is brought to that area. It's a choice and a statement.
With my shirt being open somewhat I'm ok with it. As long as there's some modesty about it I'm comfortable. The problem is I simply can't trust certain shirts I have. Sometimes I'll look down and I'll be horrified to see my shirt somehow folded out totally open in a big wide V fashion-- and I look like I'm a 70's porn star or something. Full chestical display!
I'm sure chicks might feel the same way when the look down and their boobs are out by accident-- but with chicks its still a winning look. My issue is when I'm all Chester McChesty by accident-- I'm thinking nobody wins.
*My invention is a small sticky sticker that can be stuck in between the second and third button holding the shirt together at that middle button spot without fear of it opening wide for the full chest display. If anyone patents that-- I get 30%.
The end.
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. The site might get sporatical updates this week because I'll be in San Fran at this FlashForward conference thingee. Leaving in the AM and speaking there and stuff. (Apologies to people who wanted to attend but don't want to go in on the expensive conference ticket thing. They asked me to go and hooked me up so that's that blah blah etc.) But I'll check in with updates as much as I can. And I'll definitely update this Twitter thing as I travel around from the airport or whatever-- although I can't promise the updates won't get all annoying wicked fast.
I have a hairy chest. And hairy chest guys have a different issue because going public as a hairy chest guy makes sort of a statement beyond the shirt being open. That statement being, 'I have a big hairy chest. Look! See? I'm a wild and crazy guy!'
In alot of ways (and no ways at all) having a hairy chest is like having big boobs. It's (they) are either out. Or covered. And the more cleavage that is shown the more attention is brought to that area. It's a choice and a statement.
With my shirt being open somewhat I'm ok with it. As long as there's some modesty about it I'm comfortable. The problem is I simply can't trust certain shirts I have. Sometimes I'll look down and I'll be horrified to see my shirt somehow folded out totally open in a big wide V fashion-- and I look like I'm a 70's porn star or something. Full chestical display!
I'm sure chicks might feel the same way when the look down and their boobs are out by accident-- but with chicks its still a winning look. My issue is when I'm all Chester McChesty by accident-- I'm thinking nobody wins.
*My invention is a small sticky sticker that can be stuck in between the second and third button holding the shirt together at that middle button spot without fear of it opening wide for the full chest display. If anyone patents that-- I get 30%.
The end.
ok bye!
tOdd
PS. The site might get sporatical updates this week because I'll be in San Fran at this FlashForward conference thingee. Leaving in the AM and speaking there and stuff. (Apologies to people who wanted to attend but don't want to go in on the expensive conference ticket thing. They asked me to go and hooked me up so that's that blah blah etc.) But I'll check in with updates as much as I can. And I'll definitely update this Twitter thing as I travel around from the airport or whatever-- although I can't promise the updates won't get all annoying wicked fast.
posted by Odd Todd at
8/18/2008 08:56:00 PM
35 Comments:
Super funny. I feel your pain
Girls don't care about hairy chest. Better than the 16 year old boy look\. Hairy backs? Well, they are another story.
So, Todd with all that testosterone flowing through your viens, is the reason why you are going bald from doing too many
u-turns under the sheets?
you know, the sweater vest would solve that conundrum.
Or a dickie.
ayup. :)
Slay them in Frisco tOdd.
-jo
Women with big boobs invented the "small sticky sticker between the second and third buttons" YEARS ago. It's called double-sided tape!
Why don't you just wear a t-shirt underneath the button up?
With big boobs, even when they're covered, they're still "out there".
At least with chest hair you have the option of shaving, and it doesn't cause back pain. =)
2 options:
wear a tee shirt underneath
or
wax off that visible patch of chest hair
As a chick with boobs, I already "invented" that. They sell little stick-on dots at fabric stores. Just stick it on and...done. Just remove it before you wash or dry clean the shirt, or it is a mess.
I do wear t-shirt underneath alot but when its hot out..its umm too hot.
As a hairless wonder, I'm afraid I can't identify. But I do prefer the open collar look on meself.
Women like to gaze upon my man boobies...um...I mean "pecs", and I don't like to disappoint.
That being said, I'd let my hairy freak flag fly if I were you brutha.
Kinda reminds me of that scene in the movie Jaws when they are comparing scars on the boat and Richard Dreyfus pulls down his collar and points at his hairy chest to which Roy Scheider replies "You're wearing a sweater".
The ladies tell me they don't mind chest hair...it's the back hair ya gotta shave. So no worries mate. Unbutton that collar and expose your own hairy sweater.
An exposed hairy chest only becomes a negative if you wear thick gold chains with large heavy medallions nesting in said chest hair. Then you become a stereotypical pinky ring caricature.
But if you forgo the guido jewelry...you're friggin Sean Connery man. Embrace the fuzz.
Have fun with it.
Crawl into a cooler and take a picture claiming you've found the REAL frozen bigfoot.
Be pround of what you are. Just because others do not have chest hair does not mean you should feel sorry for them by being all sympathetic and taking their defects upon yourself and seeing something wrong with you. That is one thing that is so screwed up in this world. Be proud of who you are and if someone else feels inferior then the hell with them. Hold your head high and keep that hairy chest out!
Amanda's right Todd - just wear t-shirts underneath! It can't get thaaat hot... Make sure it's a cotton T. Plus you get to impress the ladies by coordinating colors. :)
T-shirts are the toupees of the hairy chest world!
Don't cover up dude.
Say no to Tees! Be furry. Be proud. Expose that hairy chest!
Um....I'm totally straight by the way. Just wanted to clarify that.
I don't usually wax poetic about hairy chests. Just trying to give you alittle pep talk about accepting the real you.
Me likey the ladies. The ones WITHOUT hairy chests that is. :-)
Not that there is anything wrong with those that do like the hairy chested ladies!
Ok...I'll stop now.
Peace and love to all hairy and non hairy alike. Be they gay, str8 or transgender.
on the busty button down problem you're having, I'm going to share a secret women have in dealing with poppage. The Safety Pin! It'll work better then a double sided sticker, I promise. We usually use it to stop boobs from opening up a peeky gap in the middle of the buttons, instead of over the top one, but I think it might still work fine.
You put it on the inside of the shirt in between the two problem buttons. Button down shirts usually have two layers of fabric where the buttons are, so you hook the pin completely though the layer closest to your body, and then just through the inside layer of the layer furthest from you, then back through towards your skin. This makes the pin invisible to others! Hope this helps!
gay
I think girls are lying when they say they like hairy guys. I think every girl wants the guy in the Calvin Klein ad. Thats wjat really I think.
It kinda depends on how dark the chest hair is. Lightish blonde chest hair is fine; dark brown or black chest hair (esp. if it's thick) can look a little 70's porn star.
To use the words; "boobs" "poppage" and "SAFETY PIN" in the same sentence scares me. I dunno about you. :-)
Here's the product you're looking for:
http://www.bugcatcherz.com/products.aspx
This post has been removed by the author.
Fashion Tape! That's what you need. I think most women have heard of it. Lots of difference companies make it. It's basically super strong, fabric safe double sided tape. If you don't want to look girly in public, you can even buy it online from eBay. I got a whole scotch tape style spool of it at Ross. :)
I sympathise with Todd's plight completely but I have to add that the open shirt look is not always a still good look for women.
A few years back I went out to dinner with my husband in a nice family oriented restaurant and dressing up nice for the occasion I wore a new velvet shirt with pearl buttons that I had never wore before (or since).
We had a lovely meal and when we got up to leave I raised my arms a little to get them into the sleeve of my coat.
I didn't realise the consequences of this action til I went outside and got a blast of cold winter wind all over my chest.
Yep, not only did one or two buttons slip but because they were slippery pearl, they all did.
Would have probably been fine in a nightclub or something but I walked down a row of nice families having dinner and I am quite sure some crazy lady with her shirt all the way open was the LAST thing any of them would have called all good...
Todd, the ocean called. They said they're running out of shrimp!
Hmmm Fashion tape or velcro would solve the opening problem. I don't mind a guy's hairy chest showing out of a couple buttons.
I like the way you run your blog... very creative.
WEAR A TSHIRT UNDER YOUR DRESS SHIRT.
do it
what happened to that octopus cartoon that was on the homepage the other day?? repostnow
hairy chest are fine... when you live in WA, it's hard to avoid sometimes, as people are very open about that kind of thing here.
also, i would like to thank you for following me on Twitter... you didn't have to, but thanks!
-melissa Ivory
double sided tape would help you with your problem with the shirt Todd.
I have seen the costumer people at work use that.
Good to know, if you show your boobies, it is a win/win for all!
dw
i buy that tape and it's called "privacy strips." also, another idea for you...manscaping. my husband is super hairy and he just takes the trimmers and cuts it down a little. that way he can wear his shirts unbuttoned at the top without looking like teen wolf.
heya wonderman, it got deleted from that site. Here it is on utube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhNvQZ7DrNk
yes, well i see now what you mean about a girl that shows her rack off.
today walking to work, i stopped so a car could make a left turn, he waves a thank you. now this same guy, last week, i pause, no wave thanks, WHY you ask, it is because the rack was covered up.
YOU guys out there.
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