Last night on MTV I saw Beyonce break new ground in lipsyncing. Usually when people lipsync they try to actually make people believe that they're actually singing. But Beyonce decided to just not to bother with that and just danced around and fake sang without a microphone or a headset mic or nothing. At first it bothered me that she didn't bother. Then it bothered me more because it bothered me at all..
Beyonce sells Pepsi here in the States. But "New!! Woman" sells Pepsi in Japan... I think I speak for us all when I say... wtf?
I learnt some stuff bout the Golden Gate bridge today. One thing was that local people put their houses and farms up as collateral for the government to issue a bond to fund construction...(that would go over well today). Also Golden Gate engineers were actually into security. They invented the hardhat and they also got the brainiac idea to put up a net to catch workers as when they tumbled off the bridge. To prevent tumbling the workers chugged down sauerkraut juice which helped stop dizziness...
Did that juice work? Test it out! Get yerself a glass and play some of this..
TV told me today that seeing-eye dogs have competition from mini-horses. Some blind people have decided to go with mini-horses instead of dogs. Because horses can see 350 degrees around and they're smart too. And instead of horseshoes they wear like horsesneakers to not scuff up floors or whatever. The mini-horses are psyched about it too cause they're all burnt out on giving screaming crying yelly two year old brats a 'pony ride' for $3.00... or whatever.
Here's the mini-seeing eye horseys in action...
I found out on ESPN2 today that the Kalamazoo Milwood T-Ball team was invited to the White House to play a game of T-Ball on the White House lawn for the President. I guess that's cool but it seems a little random for a White House invitation. It's like, is the prez sitting around in the Oval Office thinking of stuff or whatever then he pushes the intercom button on his desk and says... 'Breaker... breaker... I'd like to see some T-ball. On the lawn. Stat. Eagle One... 10-4 ...over and out....' And everyone goes like scrambling for some t-ballers?
Here are some kids letters to Richard Nixon..
I just watched a Fox News piece that hosted by Geraldo which showcased all the progress in Iraq. I'm not accusing anyone of anything but I'll just leave it at this. Geraldo was kind of slurring alot of words (like one word every third sentence or so)- and he kissed female soldiers on the cheeks. He also like sorta kept getting lost in his words and was off-beat enthusiastic and seemed umm... very... umm... high spirited.
Try and control yourself, ladies! clickhere
I saw lobsters on tv today and learnt some stuff about lobsters. Lobsters have two different shaped claws because one is a crusher claw and one is a ripper claw. The crusher claw is for crushing and the ripper claw is for ripping. That makes alot of sense because if the ripper claw crushed and the crusher claw ripped.. people would be like, 'well what's up with that!? why is the claw that rips called a crusher claw and and the claw that crushes called a ripper claw? that makes no sense!' And then everyone would look around the room and shrug except for this one shy dude in the back would raise his hand and say all quietly ..'maybe it's a typo.'
Here's a thing that says microwaving a live lobster is mean. (who the fruk microwaves live lobsters anyway?)
Tonite I learnt that they're starting to use virtual reality to try and cure people of phobias. Like strap on the goggles and sit in a virtual plane type dealio with the engine rumbling or whatever and learn how to not freak out. Sounds coolio sorta. But what happened with virtual reality? I remember I did it in an arcade in like 1989 and haven't seen it since. Except in Lawnmower Man. But where's all the sex they promised?
Unfortunately it seems like they still have a long way to go to get to virtual "reality". The graphics here look like they're friggin circa Duke Nukem. .
I seen on the tv that some dudes believe that UFOs are responsible for alot of the stories in the Bible. Like when the Red Sea parted, that was because some UFO was hovering and its anti-gravitational engines like parted the sea and stuff. But for the most part the show was like- so when biblical guy so-and-so saw a bright light in the sky...that wasn't God... that was a UFO... and when all that weird stuff happened... yeah umm... that was a UFO too.. and when the thing happened with the thing ... yup... UFO... totally.
Here's a bizarre site that covers it pretty much.
Tonite I watched the tv and I seen this saloon in the Yukon called the Sourdough Saloon. And they got this famous drink called the Sour Toe. Basically ya order a drink and they throw a severed human toe in it and you drink the drink. But make sure you let the toe touch your lips or you don't get into the exclusive Sour Toe Cocktail Club! If you want you can bring your own toe too! Toe too! Too toe! Two toe! Tootie!
Here's where they get them toes too!
Today I learnt about the naked mole rat. They got it rough. Here's some facts bout them: They're blind. They live in tunnels underground. Their lips are behind their front teeth so they can dig with their faces without getting dirt in their mouths. And all the members of the colony are children of the one queen of the colony. She is the only one who is allowed to breed. It's a whole mole weirdo scene..
And they ain't the best looking things in the world neither. Say cheese!
I found out today that up in Iceland they've decided to start harpoonin up whales again. Even though they gave it up back in 1989, the icelandies decided that they needed to conduct 'scientific research' on whales. So far they've found out that if you spear a whale a bunch of times and then drag it out of the water and stab it a bunch more- eventually it does stop moving and functioning. This icelandy scientists call this effect 'life obstructification'. This breakthru scientific discovery regarding 'life obstructification' coincidentally allows the rest of the whale to be freed up for whale burgers and oils or whatever else they do with whale parts up there.
The pro-whaling spin. The anti-whaling spin.
I done found out today the Department of Defense is like getting all bonerized over the idea of developing unmanned vehicles that move along the ground. So they arranged a racing contest to try and find some real American ingenuity. Here's how it works: Build a vehicle. On March 13, 2004, have it go from LA to Vegas in the shortest time all by itself. Win a million bucks! Done and done. My suggestion is don't build the fastest vehicle. Or the most durable vehicle. Just build one that can wreck all the other vehicles in the contest. Then your vehicle can take its time cruising to Vegas... and it can say over and over 'Vegas Baby, Vegas!' in like a computerized voice. That would be the real American way...
Here's details bout the Grand DARPA Challenge...
I found out from VH1 that the song 'I Want Candy' by Bow Wow Wow was a cover of the original tune which is by the Strangeloves. They made it a hit in 1965. Maybe everyone knew this but I didn't know that so it qualifies a fact I learned from the tv. I also found out that that beat in the song is called the 'Bo Diddley beat'. You maybe heard it in Hand Jive from Grease, Faith by George Michael, and U2's Desire... whatever. I used to have a crush on the chick with mohawk...
Here's the original candy tune..
Sorry no fact today. I was like all discombobulated from the power outage thingee... sorry bout that.
But here's some site that's got tons of blackout stuff for you blackout junkies...
Tonite the TV told me that Maryland has a serious 'mute swan' problem. Basically there are apparently way too many mute swans and the mute swans are mean to the other regular swans and they're eating all the duck food or something. So they're gonna go shoot all them mute swans in a state wide initiative to end this mute swan problem. (fyi-Mute swans are called mute swans because they're mute.) Seems weird to have a growing swan problem when in NYC we have a growing rat problem cause the city ain't picking up garbage as often as they used to ...But you don't see us shooting our rats do ya? We're humane here unlike you gun crazy Marylanders! We love our rats! And our rats love us! And our garbage!
Save the mute swan! Take a rat off the streets!!
I found out tonite that when it comes to boozing- women are bigger lightweights than men. Something about the liver or something but if you take 150lb chick and a 150lb guy and have em each drink a 6 pack- the blood alcohol level in the chick will be like a third higher. I guess that means that... um... that... ummmm... (Insert funny pseudo-witty remark here. Sorry I couldn't think one up tonite.)
Here's a beer game straight out of MIT. (After installing some annoying java applet)- I stared at it for like a minute as it soared right over my head. Party on, MIT!
Today I found out that people are going around and starting there own countries right here in America. They're called micronations. They have like kings and monarchs and laws and like anthems and whatever. When doing a search for micronations I got a little disturbed by the amount of em there are out there considering I never heard of one before.
Here's a particularly messy micronation in terms of message, ideals and web design.
I founds out today that there's this new uncoolio trend online called 'Master Keys'. Basically dudes are selling keys that they claim can start any Honda car or open all the locks to whatever. But the good news is for the most part the master keys don't really work. So wannabee thieves are getting like ripped off when they buy em online. Except the master keys to heavy machinery... those apparently work ok.
Want to take Caterpillar backhoe loader for a test drive? Hello eBay? Wakey wakey...
Tonite I watched a full hour of some show about 'the secret lives of cats' to try and find a fact. And there was nothing really good. It was like 'Oooh. Australia has a cat problem with this and that whatever.. blah blah. I was getting like upset with the tv and then I did a quick flip over to Discovery Health and right at that moment the dude on the show said and I quote "We fart on average 10 to 20 times a day." Sometimes with the TV you just get lucky sometimes...
Here are some facts about farts.
I found out today that female brains are like more evolved than male brains. Some part of the brain (i forgot to write down the name. hypothalmus? is that right?) that deals with analysis and communication is bigger in females than in males. When presented with a situation women tend to analyze before reacting- but men take on a more impulsive 'animal' reaction. I guess that's cool and all but it might explain why chicks might not drive as well as guys.
Here's a thing about how women deal with the drive-thru ATM..
The tv today told about how way back in the day the Romans had public toilets like out on the street and stuff. They weren't like stalls or whatever they were like long benches with holes and people would just hang out and sit around. There wasn't any toilet paper so they'd just use reusable sponges. Not a good time period for the germaphobes.... but a great time period for jerky pranksters who liked to whip sponges at people!.
If they were still in use today you'd turn a corner.... howdy! .
I found out today the scientists are looking to improve our memory by messing around with the CREB gene. The CREB gene kicks in when you're supposed to remember something and fuses synapses together or something. Like how to get back to your house is like a serious fuse. A phone number off information gets like no fuse. But by messing with CREB you'll be able to remember that number off information on the first try and lots of other stuff too. So eventually we can all have a photographic memory. But it can also be used for evil in the opposite way by short circuiting all the fuses.... so we'll like all live in Memento or something..
Wanna test out your CREB?
According to television, if you steal a car in Orange County, California and get caught, your criminal defense attorney will take you into his mansion on the hill and let you live in his pool house. Then he'll dress you up in a nice suit and take you around with his family to like fashion shows and stuff. And then you get to party with all the richie neighborhood girls until you're rehabilitated.... No wonder the whole state is broke.
Here's an oh so witty survival guide for The O.C
I found out how Dr. Pepper got its name. See the dude who invented Dr. Pepper had a crush on this chick and he wanted to do it with her. The father of the chick was a doctor with the last name... Pepper. So he named his soda 'Dr. Pepper' to score points with the dad in the hopes of maybe getting a little schkabang schkabang... or so the legend goes.
Wanna be a pepper? A platinum pepper? It'll cost ya a G.
I found out today that alot of science dudes are betting on Helium-3 to be the next major energy source. The good news: It's seriously strong stuff. Not radioactive and doesn't pollute the air. One railroad box car of the stuff could power the whole United States for one year. And there's tons and tons of this stuff available. The bad news: It's all on the moon. Doh!
Here's the Moon Treaty drawn up in 1979 to make sure we all play nice nice when it comes to moon exploration. I'm sure when billions of dollars start pouring out of the moon.... it will hold up just fine.
No fact yesterday. me was away.
Today I watched a show called Ducks Unlimited and I watched these dudes hunt duck like on the Mississippi River somewhere or something. If you wanna 'blast some quacker' (that's not really an expression I just made it up) you throw out a bunch of decoys and then lay out in a layout boat. So I guess today's fact is that I done learnt about 'layout boats'. They're like kayaks but you like lay down (out) with your gun and quack your duckcall till it's time to blast some quacker! (eh... maybe it'll catch on)
Here's some dudes chillin in their layout boat waiting to blast some quacker!