AUGUST 2005

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8/31

So like today I watched some nature show on the tv. I learnt that there's this bird called the honeyguide that really likes eating honeycomb. And there's this badger called the honeybadger that loves honey. So what happens is the honeyguide flies around till it sees a bee hive. And then it goes off to find a honeybadger to wake it up and is like, 'Yo dude! I found a hive!' And the honeybadger gets all excited for honey and goes, 'Serious? Where at?' And the bird flies toward the hive and the honeybadger follows. Then the honeybadger barges into the hive and rips it apart and eats stuff and sort of shares with the bird. I thought that was really cool!.... except for the bees. Sucks for them total.

Here's an stupafying conversation started by some dude who hates birds. As for this thing about bees.... I have no idea.

8/30

Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I spent all day staring at the Katrina situation. I kind of feel weirdly numb to it. I just stare. Like I can't believe how friggin super bad it looks down there. It's like, 'What? Why?'

Here's live news from New Orleans. And photos here.

Coolio funny TV factoid coming later today.

8/29

Tonite Fox 5 news told me about a new kind of cigarette that's made out of lettuce. They're called Bravo. And they tested them out on some city smokers and the smokers said they sort of taste gross and smell weird. The news doctor said that there's no proof that they help people quit smoking and they're probably bad for you in some way anyway. The guy who made them tried carrots, beet tops, cotton, and peanuts before he settled on lettuce. Sounds dopey but if they help one person quit smoking then wtf... eh?

Here go em Bravos.

8/28

Ok. I watched the messy MTV overblownout award show which is really starting to feel like it's only cool for the people that are actually at the awards show. Watching isn't so cool anymore. And it's like calm down. And no more thanking God for giving you an MTV award! Take it down one notch! God is not giving you an MTV Moonman! In fact he's probably flipping channels right over your ego ass and hasn't even listened to your album yet... even though he gets all his music free!

Things I've learned:

1. R. Kelly is a berserker. What the hell was that? Seriously...
2. Diddy can't dance. Someone should tell him he's got club feet.
3. Kelly Clarkson seems nice.
4. Jay-Z has got to cheer up. Hey! Smile! Ya bazillionaire Beyonce boyfriend superstar! It's ain't so bad!
5. Something's wrong with music (and no I'm not saying this in the old man way)

Here's R. Kelly in the closet... which is a spectacle of 'what'?

8/27

Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I went into uberlazy mode and floundered around my apartment like a big flounder floundering. But I'm up bright and early today and heading out now with my camera. Be back later with some stuff hopefully if it doesn't rain hard and stuff.

You can fly around here if you're bored and stuff...

8/26

Hey! Yknow what I found out today? Norway is the best place to live in the world. According to some study somewhere the country of Norway! They got wealth from oil. They're big on education and they live longer out in Norway. So in honor of the Nors in Norway being #1 today it'll be all Nor all day today!

Check it we got the Norwish national anthem playing! (sort of sounds like Tis the Season kinda sorta)

Some healthy Norwichian recipes!

An eh live cover of Norwegeoin Wood by Alanis Morrissette. Is not it good?
(Alanis incidentally is from the 2nd place best place to live in the world! Canado! 2nd only to Normay!)

Plus bonus! Norwogglian Airline commercial!

and

Norwiggian TV Guide!

And the Norweegian flag!

CONGRATS TO THE NORWONIANS!

8/25

Today I found out that the core of the earth is spinning faster than the rest of the earth. This announcement came from the people who live at the center of the earth who are busy covering the core with velcro and getting suited up in velcro suits so they can jump onto the core of the earth and use it as a mode of transportation to go from war factory to war factory until they finally gather enough weapons and power to emerge from the center of the earth as a giant pack of screaming bloodthirsty viking types set on conquering all but they'll immediately get blinded by the bright sun and drop their weapons and surrender and act grumpy and bitter about it for days.

This seems like it should have been a bigger story...

8/24

TV told me about the future tonight. TV said that eventually we'll all have some sort of android robot living in our house. TV said if something breaks in the house like the fridge or whatever. The fridge repairman won't have to come to the house anymore. He'll just like dial-in to the robot and take over and work through the robot to fix the fridge. Then he'll leave the robot and leave you a bill. So people doing like repair work type stuff actually won't have to get up anymore and go to the place. They'll just sit there and work thru the 'home robot'. Looks like a bright future!.... umm... for doritos.

While searching around for robot stuff I found this site which was cool for a bit so here.

8/23

Tonite TV showed me this lazy-ass shark called an angel shark. This shark isn't like a tough guy shark who like swims around all assholey. This shark just lays on the ocean floor all camouflaged until some dopey fish swims by then it's like CHOMP! Then the angel shark lays back down again and does nothing until something else swims then its all about CHOMP! again then it does nothing again for a while. Then something else swims by and it gets all juiced up for CHOMP! CHOMP! then it lays down and does nothing again until something else swims by then it gets all you know what? CHOMP!! That's what! then it lays back down again until...

I guess ya get it. Here's an angel shark putting on his camos. <fixed

8/22

TV told me that monkeys like to gamble. Some science dudes who hang out with monkeys all day tried and experiment. Give a monkey two choices. Push a button that will give the same amount of juice everytime or another button that will give either a smaller or larger amount of juice. Monkeys like taking the chance that they'd get a larger amount of juice even after smaller amounts were given most of the time. The science dudes said that monkeys like to take risks just like grown up monkeys (aka people).

As dopey risky as monkeys are you won't see em do this risk taking nuttinards.

8/21

Tonite I found out that gossiping is actually good for you. The lady on tv said it was healthy because its like 'social grooming' and they say the interaction of hanging out with others talking smack about others increases the bonding of people or something. Also it makes people not do super stupid reckless stuff because people are afraid of gossip. So it keeps us in line or whatever. The lady on tv also said women are better at gossip than men. More animated and wanting more feedback and stuff. At least that's what I heard.

I was surfing around looking for a link of chicks skateboarding and I found this trainwreck site at nike.com so here ya go.

8/18

So anyway I seen on the tv that envirodudes are hacking into their hybrid cars and souping them up all funky with extra batteries so they get like 250mpg. Soon the hybrids are gonna turn into like modern funny cars with like big giant chrome batteries sticking out of the hood. And instead of hanging in the parking lot with the hood up talking about speed it's gonna be all about mileage. Mileage, baby. Like, 'Hey, I heard Elmer went over 300MPG on one charge the other day...' and the other dude is like, 'Bullshit! Maybe if it was all downhill! Elmer always talks smack! He's never even gone of 240MPG!' Then they drag race at like 40mph or whatever.

Here weird cars.

8/17

Yesterday TV showed me a report about how enviro-dudes are pushing to have large animals reintroduced to the wild here in the States. They're pushing to get a bunch of elephants, lions and cheetahs and stuff and setting them free in America. The idea is to balance out the ecosystem and help save endangered species and ourselves or something. I'm all for it. And I say lets start it off by letting them wild animals loose on golf courses and let's kick that whole sport up a notch!

Here's some info on 'rewilding'.

8/16

Today TV showed me the most expensive cheesesteak in the world and it made me want to eat it. It's made with kobe beef (that fancy japanese beef from cows that sit around all day and smoke cigars while getting handjobs or something), truffles (still not sure what they are-- they're like mushrooms with chocolate on top that grow in pig doody or something?), lobster (gross alien bugs that live under the sea that are plotting to take over the world), and fancy something-something cheese (aka 'smells like swampass'). Anyway, this cheesesteak will cost you $100! But anyone who orders it gets a trucker hat that says 'I'm a $hmuck' ...free of charge.

Here's the cheesesteak all big! AND Post the worst most awful sandwich you can think of HERE! (formerly the zucchini forum)

8/15

TV told me tonite about a brand new kind of addiction. Addiction to tanning. Dudes and chicks basically can't control themselves at maintaining or building their tan. So now people who walk around orange or looking like George Hamilton have an excuse. They're like all addicted. They're like reverse vampires or something. But it might not be their fault. 53% might be physically addicted the UV rays or something. The other 57% are just mental wild about being tan. The other 3% can't do math so they just sit in the sun.

It's all about moderation. Ouch.

8/14

Tonight TV told me about a dating site that's just for "beautiful" people. To be able to be in their dating pool you have to like apply and upload a photo and then people vote on you if you're beautiful enough or whatever. If you wanna check out the best looking dorky douchebags in the world... head on over here. (even their website is dumb)

Feel free to log-in with my info username: oddtodd7  password: elfup  I haven't been voted off dork island yet...

8/11

Tonite tv told me all about a new device called the Jerk-O-Meter. It's basically something that you can hold up to your phone when you're talking to someone and it measures the voice pattern of the person you're talking to. If the person's voice pattern registers a certain way the meter thing will be able to tell if the person is a jerk (aka barely paying attention to the conversation). I think I act like a jerk alot because I talk to people while surfing the net until they yell at me to get away from the computer, jerk! So yeah that's me...

And this is the jerk o meter thang. .. invented by who else...? some jerky boys at MIT...

8/10

Today I found out that redheaded women are tougher than chicks with other colored hair. Redheads somehow have some weird gene or something that makes them more tolerable to pain or whatever. They need like less anesthesia and all that.  Plus they might fight off diseases on the inside better than other colored hair chicks. No word yet as to what makes redheads more apt to clang you over the head with a frying pan more than other chicks. 

Here's a site that's made by a nutty redhead.

8/9

Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. I like pretty much stayed on the couch and I watched a movie called 'The Interpreter' which made me feel dumb because I didn't understand what the hell they were talking about most of the time but Nicole Kidman looked surprised alot or whatever. Fact will be here tomorrow! and it will be frickin ridiculously awesome!!!

Here's something online where you can translate stuff and stuff

8/8

Today I found out some scientist were poking around in the ice somewhere super cold and they found some weird jellyfish. Once they got it back to the lab and thawed it out, they found out it was a brand new species of jellyfish! Never seen before by ice nerds! After doing tests, one of the scientists held up the jellyfish and said to some lab tech, 'Hey! C'mere! Smell this thing. Tell me it doesn't smell like strawberries...' And the lab tech went to sniff it and the scientist smushed it right in his face and called him, 'Dumbass'. Then they started to go at it with a full on beaker fight. Eventually a bunson burner tipped over and lit up some notebook and the dick scientist screeched like a little girl all, 'Put it out! Put it out!' while flapping his hands. And after the fire was put out they all made fun of him for screeching like that and were pissed they didn't have it on video.

Here's some info on the new jellyfish!

8/7

Today I watched some of the X-Games which was kinda coolio. But I didn't really learn anything from them except everyone seems to go higher than I ever remember. The skateboard guys were like way up there. So that was coolio....but not really a 'fact'. So I flipped around and found out why dogs nostrils are shaped the way they are. They have the holes in front to smell stuff in but they have like slits on the side to let the smell escape to the sides. So if they're on a hot trail after something the exhale doesn't go straight in front of them and mess up the scent. It goes to the sides so all they get is fresh scent. Get it sorta? nThought that was kind of coolio.  Just imagine the air going out the sides and stuff...

Anyway, here's a bunch of skateboarder clips that are kinda coolio...

8/6

>From: "DeeJay"
>To: <[email protected]>
>Subject: Learning from TV.
>Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 22:12:31 -0500
>
>Hi Todd!!
>
>Saw that you didn't learn anything from tv in your last post and I
>thought about what I learned from tv while my husband worked the swing shift.
>
>The History Channel was showing this series "Wrath Of God" for like 3
>hours in a row. I was only interested in the tornado episode, since I
>live in tornado alley and all. What stuck in my brain the most from
>this episode was "Cordell, KS had a tornado hit it on May 20th >>> 3
>years in a row!! -- 1916,1917,1918!!! Freaky Deakie!!!
>
>Weirdness!!
>
>DeeJay

-------------------------------------------------

Thanks DeeJay! If you wanna build your own tornado... click here!
 

8/5

Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I went through all of tv with the flip flip flippy but tv totally let me down by teaching me nothing. I will slap my tv upside the head to get something out of it today. And maybe it will stop that high pitched noise too...

Here's a free hearing test with some high pitched noises. (headphones needed) I have a slight hearing impairment!

8/4

So TV told me all about how some people are busy eating clay. (not aiken. like playdoh type clay) Apparently clay has some sort of anti-toxin stuff and if you take a teaspoon of clay and swirl it around in some water you'll live to be 1000 or something. It must be so tiring to try and keep up with being healthy. A new healthy thing comes out like everyday. Trying to keep up with the latest healthy has just gotta wear you out after a while...

It might be a disorder afterall anyway. Here's some info on pica.

8/3

Tonite I watched the INXS rockstar show and it was a trainwreck. I couldn't stand it and couldn't stand the fact that I couldn't shut it off extra. But the most annoying thing was Dave Navarro who sat there like some dorky poseur king ruling over the land of poseur rockstar peasants. Earlier tonite I saw the Navarro on the VH1. I no need the Navarro so much. Why so much the Navarro? Why? I no want no mo the Navarro! And it got me thinking if people out there actually like the Navarro. Do people? Maybe it's just me who has problems with the Navarro.

Let's see:

Navarro Poll
What do you think of Dave Navarro?

I like him. He rocks and he's cool.
He sucks. I can't stand the Navarro.
Who?
Who cares?
 

8/2

Tonite TV showed me the World Toe Wrestling championships. Basically people get together and they do like thumb wrestling but with toes. All I gotta say (I'm not bragging or anything) but I have super strong toes! I pick up things all the time with my toes! In fact while I was sitting here in my chair I reached over and picked up a box of 100 envelopes! Just like that! Then I held it up long enough to take a picture! Look at that gorilla foot! You telling me I can't win a stupid toe tournament!? I'd friggin kick toe-ass! That's the Kung Fu grip sh*t, baby! And yes my feet are gross and hairy! So what?! Yeah! Bonus! Like George 'The Animal' Steele! But in footness!

Here's go George! My foot counterpart!

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