My Boss From Hell 

(sorry it's so long. it stirred up all the old emotions)

My first full time job after school was being an assistant manager at The Gap. This was like 1992-3. Like Gap hayday. Pretty much on the first day I knew this job wasn't gonna work out. Being taught how to fold clothes with that board thing and convincing customers to 'accessorize' just wasn't for me. My manager was this guy  (let's call him Doug). Doug was obsessed with the Gap. And obsessed with our store. He would tell me things like I should try and hang out with Gap employees on my days off and that I should save money to buy Gap clothes so I'm always up to date with the stuff I wore-- weirdo like creepy gap government stuff like that. He would sometimes work in the store (swear) 30-40 hours straight. I'm not sure if he was coked up or what but he'd stay overnite in the store and then work into the next day. It was sick. 

One day he told me he was sending me to Gap class. I had to drive to some weird place and had to sit in a room all day while the Gap teacher taught a group of us about Fall colors and their names. Things weren't just green. They were 'autumn mist'. Stuff like that. I had Gap philosophy drilled into my head and all that. At this point I started to get a little creeped out by the intensity of the Gap and felt little bits of it actually getting thru. 

Anyway back at the store there were problems. We were getting robbed on my watch alot apparently. At least that's what Doug told me I guess to make me feel like I needed to stop shoplifters. Doug told me that if someone rips off the store and runs off that I should be at a point where I chase them down the street. And I'm thinking, 'I ain't chasing no-body down no-street no-way for no-thing no-how..' I could see myself chasing the wrong person who pulls out a gun and I end up in a denim coffin with big belt wrapped around it. (courtesy of Gap corporate)

Sometimes the District Manager who we were supposed to be scared of 'Jim' would stop in. He would drive up in his Porsche and park right in front and make a big to-do about his beeper car alarm thing. He would make sure to let everyone know that he had a Porsche (of course he'd pronounce it Por-Sha) and that if we work hard like him one day we could have a Por-Sha too. He once called me over to the wall of jeans that I had just folded and pulled like 10 cubby fulls out of the wall and dropped them at my feet. He told me to redo them because they weren't 'crisp' enough. Then walked away like a dick as I stood like knee high in jeans that I just folded. Doug then came over angry at me because Jim was angry at me.

Two months later I'm still at the Gap. And we hear our little store is going to moved in the big mall to be a big super Gap. And it will be the new 'Flagship' store for the Gap chain. This put Doug into overdrive. He became a maniac. He was always threatening us that 'Mickey (the CEO) is coming! Mickey might drop in the store today! MICKEY MIGHT BE HERE AT ANY SECOND! And we'd all have to be so buttoned down. Mickey never showed. I'm not sure if this was a management tactic or a fantasy of his.

At this point Doug seemed to be in the store like practically 24/7. His eyes were bleary and wild and he'd make me stay all hours with him sometimes. One night he got himself completely convinced that Mickey was coming the next day. So it was the two of us in the store around 2AM and he came up to me with a pair of scissors (i remember being a little scared because he looked crazy and had scissors). But he didn't stab me. He just told me to cut the all the little frayed fringes on the carpet around the perimeter of the store under the racks. I stared at him and thought about refusing based on principle but then the voice in my head reminded me that this job involved laying on the floor.  So I did it.

Anyway the job only lasted a week or so after that. Doug was nuts. Making sure the storeroom was crispy folded and shit like that. Doug confronted me pissed off because the gap teacher told him I looked completely bored in Gap class and said I showed no enthusiasm. He told me this looked bad on him.

I knew it was over for me and the Gap. I quit. And that was that.

ok bye!



Do you have a Boss From Hell story? SEND IT TO ME!

previous boss<<<<<<<<<<


Do you have a Boss From Hell story? SEND IT TO ME!