FRIDAY'S BOSSes FROM HELL
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hey todd, so i not only have one boss but 2. they're married, double the
van-damage! they have made the cyber-marketing thing work for them. which
i'm not sure just how since they both suffer from what we at the office call
LOPS(lack of people skills). 

she is  answering phones but doesn't seem to know what to do since every 2 calls or 
so she has to ask what to do. i've come to the conclusion that he is just really bored,
but neurotic. he likes to wait by the machine to spit out the next order hot
off the press, though i'm sure the customer hasn't even finished placing it
yet. they also yell at each other all the time over usually nothing,creating
a tense vibe throughout the joint.

he seems to pull in quite a lot of dough, so he's doing something right.
only if he'd stay home and collect the checks, the gig wouldn't be so bad.
he also recently came down with some cold or something. jokes how he's gonna
get everyone sick, then does so,but do we get paid to stay home to get
better from his illness?? no.do we even get and apology? no. do we walk
around the joint coughing up a lung all over everyone? no.
so thats the scoop. best part is that i'm typing this on his computer!

congrats on the comedy central dealio! can't wait for the next toonage.
ps you'll probably be getting an email from my buddy who just signed up with
road runner and well...i'll let him tell you, call acme!!!

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I work for a large retail pharmacy company, you've mentioned it several times in your stories. I work in a regional
office in Michigan and this is also where the boss from hell works. He started in 2000 and I've been miserable ever since. At first everything was cool, he seemed really nice and smart. But, shortly after I realized I was dealing with one of the stupidest people on the face of the earth. How he ever got this job I'll never know. He used to call me into his office and ask how to open files, like a word document, or an excel file. I was very confused because this is the easiest stuff to do on a computer. He didn't know how to open files, save them, email them, zip or unzip files etc. I would show him and then 5 minutes later I was back in his office showing him again. I guess he never paid attention, he just wanted me in there doing it for him. He even started calling me at home, on my cellphone, and at all hours of the night and during weekends. Finally, I got smart and typed out instructions on everything he asked how to do. That sorta ended that . . .except even after 4 years I still have to go in and tell him how to open a zip file. I mean how effing hard is it?!

He is also very unorganized, messy, and his office smells funky. You know those boxes that paper comes in? Like from Staples or whatever? He has those boxes filled with papers and files all over his office. He has this file cabinet thingy thats attached to the wall, well he puts these boxes of crap up there and if you look on the side you can see where its pulling away from all the extra weight. I don't say anything because I want it to come crashing down. The boxes of stuff are also under his desk, and on top of the desk, on the floor . . . so much so that you have nowhere to put your feet. I don't know how he sits at his desk. He also has this big cork board on the wall, there is stuff pinned up there from the previous guy who worked in his position. Its 4 years out of date! Maps are pinned on the wall from 4 years ago---totally out of date! There is no clean spot on his desk. Sometimes he calls me in because he wants me to make a copy, or fax something and he's sifting through the piles on his desk for like 5 minutes while I stand there smelling his funky office. He takes files home and they never return. Then when he needs the file he says to me in an accusing tone that he can't find it, where did it go?

We have bi-monthly meetings where he is supposed to submit proposed new locations for a new store to management and then they approve them. They work out the schedule a year in advance. But he asks me constantly when everything is happening, when is this meeting, what are my due dates on and on. But, every month he waits until the last possible minute to give me the information I need. So, then I'm here late running around frantically trying to get his work out on time. This last time a week ago the UPS guy was here, standing over my shoulder as I'm trying to assemble books, hands shaking, sweating and he just sat in his office talking on the phone. I've left here in tears many times, swearing I will quit, tell him to eff off, and I never do.

He always comes in late, will leave for lunch and never return. I am supposed to be off at 4:30, but he calls at 4:25 and wants his email checked. His email takes forever to open etc. because he never cleans it out. There are emails on there from at least a year ago. Every once in awhile I go in and move them to a different folder, out of the inbox to speed things up and save my sanity. You might say, why don't you just not answer the phone at 4:25??? Because then he calls my cellphone. Sometimes I try to check it at like 4, just in case he calls, but then at 4:25 he still calls and wants it checked again---just in case. I think he does it to annoy me. He was approved for a Blackberry 3 months ago but has yet to order it. Here is a good example. . . the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving last year I left at 4:15 because my other boss told me to get out of here. Boss from hell hadn't been seen there since before noon . . . so I left. Just got on the freeway at 4:22 and my cellphone rang. Dumas me, thinking it was my boyfriend answered it without looking at the caller id. It was boss from hell. "Where are you?" he says. Told him I was on the freeway. He says he wants me to check his email. I sat there and didn't say a word, I wasn't about to turn around and drive back to the office on the day before a holiday, with traffic the way it was. I also live 45 minutes from the office. He lives about 10 minute away. He then starts to give me the guilt trip of, "Well I guess I can go check my email, but I really needed you to do that. I don't really have the time to go back there." (Like I do???) Again, I didn't say anything and finally he's just said bye and hung up. Sorry he had to actually go do his job---what a jerk.

Another trick he likes to pull is to schedule meetings with co-workers and other people and not show up, or very very late. In the summer he goes golfing with his friends, calls me at the office and informs me to call, or go tell the people he has meetings with some lame excuse why he can't make it. But, under no circumstance am I to tell them he is golfing. I always do though. Its the only way I have to get even. Then I tell the people---you didn't hear this from me, and I haven't been ratted out yet. He is never off the phone for more than 5 minutes. I hear him jawing to his friends all day, so loud that I wonder if he is trying to show off for some weirdo reason. But, when people actually call regarding business he never takes the call and never returns the call. I don't know how many times I try to take a message and they tell me they always leave messages and he NEVER calls back. Pissed off people are not fun to deal with.

No one in this office likes him, his boss thinks he's a joke but he never gets fired. He has never once met his yearly goals---NOT ONCE in 4 years!!!!!! Instead, my job is relocated and I'm out job hunting because this one from hell is ending in a few weeks. I am holding out hope though that once I leave he will fall flat on his fat ass and karma will pay off. All he keeps saying to me is, "What am I going to do without you here?" I want to change my cell number, so he can't call and ask me a million questions when I am gone. But, I'm afraid someone will call for an interview and I won't get it.

Sorry this email is so long. Bye.

Stephanie
Michigan

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