When I saw this less than 4 minute video I immediately thought of you and Rosco.

Beautiful Day at the Dog Park

I hope this video gives you some ideas tOdd.

Jim M

————————————–

**(CONGRATS TO DAVE R! LONG TIME FRIEND OF THE SITE!) **

Friends and Family,

Though many of you may have already seen this on Facebook, I wanted to send something a bit more personal to those of you receiving this.

Back in November I finished the first draft of a novel I have been working on for the past three years. As part of the process of making the manuscript as appealing to potential agents and publishers as possible, I have been working on publishing some shorter pieces so that the polished manuscript can stand beside a compelling list of credits.

I have completed 140 submissions in the last six weeks. I received one acceptance letter back in December and, remarkably, three more today. My piece, ‘Glass,’ was accepted by The Avalon Literary Review in December, and I found out today when I received my contributors copies of the magazine that one of the other pieces, ‘Worms,’ was also selected at the last minute. Additionally, Epiphany Magazine has picked up ‘The Abstract’ and ‘Tepid’ for their June issue.

When I began working in the financial industry, I promised myself that I would not abandon my passion just because I had taken a job doing something else. Finding the time to write and edit has required some sacrifices, but the fruits of my labor have been well worth the cost. I am so glad I have stuck with this, and very proud of what I have done so far, as well as what I have just begun to do.

Attached are the four pieces that have currently been accepted, as well as two others that I feel confident will find a home with one of the open publications. I will keep you updated on the progress.

Thanks to each of you for all of the support and encouragement throughout the years. I wrote my first short story in the first grade, and if it hadn’t been for you all kvelling over it, it might very well have been my last.

With love,
-David

Worms

I lost my mind the other day.
I sold all of my brilliance
and
all of my insanity
for a quarter.

I sold it for a quarter,
on eBay,
and spent it on five gummy worms.

Five gummy worms –
for a quarter.
For all that I’m worth!
And all that I’ve ever had!

They were delicious.
I made them last –
I slowly sucked them all until
they were so soft that when I
bit down on them my tongue
was showered with goo.

Food coloring. Gelatin.
My tongue was showered
with the bones of a cow.
Twenty five cents for five
gummy worms. All that I’m worth.

I’m broke,
a broken man with
nothing to spend!
I don’t even have money
for sun block.

My skin will turn
red. I’ll be the color
of a gummy worm.
Will someone buy me?
Put me in their mouth?
Suck on me until I turn to… goo?

The anticipation is killing me.
It will be Darwinism at its very best –
and I will be Lemark.

————————————–
Todd, I know we haven’t met F2F, but I think you’re someone who won’t mind me asking a favor.

We’re in the final few days on our Kickstarter goal. I figure you know how important this project is to me. I think that I’ve written excellent stories and want to share them with the world–with high production values.

I hope you had a chance to watch the silly video we did at http://kck.st/xS5OSh. We had fun and think others will get a chuckle. If you enjoyed it or saw the pilot video and like it, I hope you’ll consider making a pledge before Sat. Even $5 or $10 helps, because it shows support. More than 100 people, mostly friends, have pledged something, and I really, really appreciate it.

Even if you can’t do the money thing, just posting the link and asking your friends to check it out is helpful.

And, either way, drop me a line to let me know how you’re doing.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled NPR show. ;^)

————————————–

Re: Odd Todd Studios website

Just a tip for the site: When someone clicks on the video thumbnails it would be nice to have a title and/or a short description without having to watch some of the video. Thanks and great stuff!

————————————–

The anon on our bored who’s always complaining about our friend Bider
went a little too far this morning…

I just saw this post where he/she said in response to her question of
“Who are you?? They said, “Your worst nightmare, if you don’t stop
over posting.”

I love our bored friends and hate to see so much hate! I hope you can help.

————————————–

You’re the the REAL weeze aren’t you? I’m onto you. Very clever. Well played Mr. O.T.

Dave
————————————–
Hi Todd.

Congratulations on getting engaged. I know you will make your girlfriend happy.

I haven’t received any weird viruses or updates for the past couple of days from your site.

Although I’m not qualified to help you with your malware issue, you may want to ask around for someone with server experience. I suggest speaking with your Webmaster to get all the details.

–
Renais

————————————–
Hi Todd!
hey Todd! We are almost done w/updating episode 12 of Corpse O’Clocknews…until it finishes uploading, here is the previous episode, Ryan Fenton’s interview with Robert Lucas- (writer/director “One for the Fire: The Legacy of ‘Night of the Living Dead” (2008) We need awesomely creative people like you to help spread the word about what’s going on with the chapel! I figured since you love Evil Dead, you probably love NOTLD as well. This is important to me, and I thought you may feel the same. You can go to http://www.fixthechapel.com/ to see George Romero’s endorsement…

I haven’t said hello in awhile and then this! hahaa! Sorry! Trying to help with all of this has kept Gordon and I very busy! Which I can’t say is a bad thing. I hope yu have have had a good time with things!
Tricia

But every time he said, “Women.” It didn’t sound quite right. Like maybe it was too formal. Just didn’t seem right for a group of dumb dumb chicks all jockeying over a dopey guy. “Women” doesn’t seem casual and fun. It seems like a part of a larger organization or something. Too important and strong. Or on the flip side– too associated with a bathroom door sign.

I guess it’s on a par with ‘Men’– but Men has ‘Guys’ as an alternative. And last night I realized that, women don’t have a good casual alt.

The closest to ‘Guys’ is ‘Gals’. But gals is a no-go. Gals works better in the context of, ‘The gals are all getting together to organize the bake-sale…’ Gals seems dated or maybe for older women or something— but besides ‘Gals’, everything else is condescending or too cutesy.

‘Chicks’ doesn’t make most ‘women’ happy. ‘Ladies’ has been stamped with sarcasm ‘Here come the Layydees…’ (Plus, it got ruined by the song Ladies Night). And there’s some Euro stuff out there like, ‘Lass’ or ‘Bird’– or you can kick it old school with ‘Dames’ or ‘Dolls’. But none of those are going to be a full-time replacement.

So I say it’s time to launch a solid counterpart to ‘Guys’ — so I’m not all distracted while watching my Bachelor tv show! Maybe I should contact the National Organization of Women to tell them to get cracking on this? Those chicks would have the clout to make something respectable stick.

ok bye!
tOdd

I had a quick affairs with Temple Run and Where’s My Water but they were whatevery. Fruit Ninja got a fling but I’d get my asskicked all the time playing multiplayer– and got tired of it. Couldn’t stand knowing that there was some 12-year old laughing about how pathetically slow I was at slicing fruit samurai style.

I tried a few adventure type games or shooters but they were also sort of whatevery. Am I really going to sit here on ipad and kill zombies or race cars for hours on end? I started to wonder about apps in general. They started feeling way disposable and repetitive. And I felt relief that I stopped combing through the App Store looking for the latest greatest ultimately disappointing or scammy freebie.

I felt that I was disassociating myself from apps– but recently a few came roaring out of the App Store and got me re-hooked. I

So figure I’d share em:

Action Movie FX app which you can do stuff like this:

Akinator the Genie
My nephews showed me this one. Totally 20 Questions but the accuracy is pretty pretty spot on. Fun for the whole family.

And Scramble with Friends
Totally backloaded with requests so no offense if I don’t respond– but this one got me back into Word stuff big time cause it’s all fun and stuff.

If you have an app that you’re digging alot please post it below.

I’ll think of something better to write about later too and stuff…

Hope your Monday is going aok.

ok bye!
tOdd

Here’s how that conversation went:

Me: Hey! You’re watching True Lies!
Barber: Yes. True Lies eez the best movie.
Me: Yeah, it’s a good movie.
Barber: No! True Lies eez BEST movie.

Whoa guy. Take it easy…

Anyway, yesterday I go in there and they’re showing something different. The barber razoring my head was showing the Bar Mitzvah video of his son. Fun video with all these Uzbeks dancing around to an 12-piece Uzbek band doing their best to cover, ‘Every days eez shufflings…’ Cue blasting trumpets.

Of course, I feel compelled to ask talk about the video and ask questions. (Why else show it to strangers?) But it went weird.

Like this:

Me: Hey! You got a looking family there! So, your son is thirteen…
Barber: Yes thirteen. You a jew?
Me: Uh yeah. I am. (?)
Barber: Then you know thirteen is bar mitzvah.
Me: Yeah.

Then silence. He sounded grumpy at me. I’m thinking like, ‘Take it easy, guy…’ Just making conversation about YOUR video playing in MY face….

The video keeps playing some girl is dancing around.

Me: Hey! Who’s that there?
Barber: Eez cousin.
Me: Oh.
Barber: You not know her.

(No! I don’t f-kin know her! Obviously! WTF! Why’s he being all rude about this??)

The video keeps playing and I see the barber himself dancing. He’s pretty stiff.

Me: Look at you! Busting the moves!
Barber: You make fun?
Me: No! No! It looks like you’re having a good time!

WTF!!! He gives me a second long look at me through the reflection in the mirror to make sure I’m not making fun– then goes back to razoring my head…

I gave up. We sat there in silence while I watched dancing and candle lighting and all sorts of stuff. It was awkward. I’d rather be watching True Lies or Problem Child. I had no magazine to hide in either.

I couldn’t tell if he was mad about the bar mitzvah or my questions or maybe he was unhappy with one too many ‘starburst’ transitions in the video production or whatever. But I was like, ‘WTF, dude! You can’t run a home video in my face then act like I’m a dick for asking the basic questions!

Why does everything have to be a thing?!

ok bye!
tOdd

As far as I’m concerned if I know for a fact that I’m not going to ever eat ‘those old grapes’ or ‘the leftover pad thai’ in the next day or so– if I know it’s not ever never getting ate up– why can’t I just throw it away right then and there? Why does it have to sit in the fridge and slowly go bad until it’s grossified and actually qualifies as garbage?

This especially goes for stupid fresh spices which are like always sold in bulk like friggin Costco size or something. Does anyone need a whole bonsai tree worth of dill? Or parsley!? Why so much!?

Before you get on my case about donating the food to a homeless person or something– think about what that would usually involve. Me going out on the street with a half-eaten thing of pad thai (or old grapes, or big shrub of basil), looking around for a homeless person, and then offering him or her the rest of my half eaten dinner, old fruit or fresh cut spices… etc..

Also, if I buy a bunch of fresh apples and there’s one sad lonely apple still hanging out in the back of the fridge. That sad apple goes in the garbage!! Even if it’s “still good”. Why should I eat an old sad apple when I just bought a bushel of fresh apples? For spite? To show I’m a good person who doesn’t waste? I should sit there munching through some mealy apple while staring at good fresh apples?! Screw that.

And another thing! How long are cold cuts good for before they’re bad? Like if you have a thing of sliced turkey in the fridge– when is it over for the turkey? I say three or four days… but gf says it’s good for over a week? I don’t trust my sense of smell. I want dates dammit!

And another thing! This goes for frozen stuff too! If I have some frozen pizza uneaten in my freezer for over six months– chances are I ain’t never ever eating that froze burnt pizza! So right in the garbage! Boom! Same goes for old frozen anything! Isn’t six months enough time to have a half-pint of tundra-ed ice cream before calling it quits on it!!?

It’s not still good!!

ok bye!!
tOdd

/divtd align=left

I guess the idea was they had paid placement for a hashtag that promoted the “goodness” of McDonalds #McDStories

Seems like a harmless enough idea. Get the word (lies) out. Also seemed promising for Twitter in terms of corporations actually paying money for their service.

Then of course it all went wrong. People started posting non-friendly McDonalds stories via the #McDStories hashtag. McDonalds totally lost control of this marketing campaign when tweeters all piled on and post stuff like this…

and…

and…

When stuff like this happens I always think about that one guy. The one cocky d-bag responsible for launching the stupid campaign. The fast-talking guy in the meeting with the chunky glasses, three phones, and soulpatch explaining to the dated McDonalds execs what social media is all about and how it works. Busting out twitter lingo extra fresh at every turn to show he knows more than everyone in the room.

He has gigantic numbers and figures to support his marketing idea. Older executives feel intimidated. They don’t want to miss out on the “social media stuff”. They grumble a yes. Soulpatch guy gets the greenlight to go ahead.

Not only is this a score for Soulpatch because he landed the big fish (filet-o-fish) but if it works out well– perhaps he can build a social networking career off of this campaign! Getting McDonalds onboard with Twitter has got to be a major achievement in Twitterfield…

The build up to the launch of #McDStories has crazy anticipation for Soulpatch. He re-reads the initial tweet about ‘tasting food’ 100x — rechecks the short link over and over. He counts down 5…4…3…2…1….Then it’s off! First tweet tweeted! Enjoy it world!

He sits back in his Herman Miller chair and cracks his knuckles. Hard at work.

Then the first tweet comes in about diarrhea. Scarred with #McDStories. Another tweets about how McDonalds makes the person feel like he’s dying inside. Soulpatch’s heart sinks. He’s been blindsided by the media he’s an ‘expert’ in.

He prays that this is just a passing ‘trend’. People will leave alone his precious #. But he knows it’s too late. (that’s the moment) There’s the word ‘diarrhea’ has been blapped all over his marketing campaign. It’s over.

By days end, the hashtag has been killed. Some executive has to the shame to explain to some Old McDonald exec why it was possible for some nobody to use the word ‘diarrhea’ in association with their marketing campaign.

And our Soulpatch stares at the screen. Disaster. Someone DM’s him asking, ‘Yo! Was that McD campaign what you were talking about the other night?! ROFL! It wasn’t yours, right?!’ Soulpatch hears the Hindenburg announcer broadcasting in his head. A single tear runs down his face and soaks into his soulpatch. The end.

That’s what you get for trying to cross the streams I guess?

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. But it did make me seriously wonder (for the first time in real life) about the fact that if corporations who are willing to pay can actually get burned (fried) by Twitter — that from a business perspective… Twitter might be totally fkt…

I was jealous of his $2 bill stash so I immediately went to the bank and got a bunch of $2 bills of my own. The banks don’t seem to care if you ask. They’re not stingy with their twos. Just wander in to a teller and switch out a $20. Boom! You get a magical wallet of $2 bills!

This morning I couldn’t resist and a bought a cup of coffee with my $2 bill and sure enough I got an, ‘Oooh fancy…’ from the coffee girl. Nice.

$2 bills have been rare and cool ever since I first saw one and thought it was fake! Or discontinued or something. It’s got a whole different vibe. It’s weird that bill seems like it still barely exists. I don’t think it’s even ever had a serious redesign!

But I think $2 bills should finally come out of the shadows and step up! They’re too convenient! They’re too handy! If pennies can still be everywhere there’s no reason the $2 bill shouldn’t go wide.

What is this reluctance to mass-out this particular bill? Did it piss off someone down at the US Mint back in the day and that guy yelled, ‘You’ll never be big, Twoey! You hear me! You coulda been as big as the five! You coulda been a contendah! But you messed up, Twoey! We’ll never mass produce you! Neverrrr!!!’

It just seems strange that there’s this perfectly good, handy, primed and printed bill just loitering around in banks or tucked away in birthday cards or held onto for good luck– when we all can agree the $2 would be totally embraced! For frucks sake a stupid bottle of water in a machine is now $1.25 minimum! You’re still telling me there’s no place for the $2?!

It’s enough of this bullshit, US Mint assholes! Drop your grudge and let’s bring the $2 out of the stupid shadows! It’s time to break it away from the $1 coins and other nothing currency and let it fly! Be free!

And who knows, if all of a sudden everyone gets these brand new $2 bills– maybe people will be more inclined to spend money… and if that happens maybe it’ll be the pathway to save the whole global economy or something like that?!

Whatever! Free the two!

(just don’t redesign it and make it look all fake…)

ok bye!
tOdd

It might seem weird to acknowledge a dog’s birthday because dogs are somewhat unaware of things like “birthdays” and “time” and somewhat with “self”– but he’s a nice guy so I figure it’s time for a bit of Roscoe post with….

Fifteen Quick Facts About Roscoe!

15. Roscoe is currently on a diet. Last checkup he was 5lbs overweight so we’ve cut back on biscuits and treats (he used to get them all day long every day just for being good) — now he gets carrots instead. At first he was all wtf with the carrots– but now he seems to like the carrots as long as they’re fresh. (he doesn’t like those mini-carrots though– he thinks they smell weird.)

14. Lately Roscoe doesn’t like it when a dog sniffs his privates for too long. If a dog goes long with an oversniff at his crotch — Roscoe will freeze up then throw a flag on the field and will start fighting with the oversniffy dog. It’s a problem at dog park

13. Sometimes I play one on one with Roscoe in this open field near our apartment. But because he doesn’t like to chase balls around (he won’t chase one friggin throw)– the only way for us to play is for me to chase him around yelling how I’m gonna get him and grabbing at his butt. Once I noticed some teenagers watching me chase my dog around and it was embarrassing.

12. Roscoe really likes having Lola as a roommate and they’re BFF (even though she’s a thief) but the bed is crowded now. I’m like all tetris in the bed all night trying to navigate my legs around the dogs and stuff.

11. Roscoe doesn’t like anything with citrus and he doesn’t like anything with peppers.

10. He pleads with his eyes to have the window open when we’re driving places because he likes the breeze in his snout. I feel it is the way of dogs washing out their olfactory smeller. I imagine it gets gunked up with all the city smells and this is the way to flush all that out and sniff clean again.

9. Every night around 7pm Roscoe asks to bark at me for like 10-15 minutes. I don’t know what this is about because he doesn’t want anything except to bark at me and give me sideways looks. So we get in the bed and he barks and barks (the neighbors know all about it). I think it’s just his form of conversating.

8. Roscoe has neighborhood arch enemies. These two black poodles. They can be literally a block away and start hating on each other. Those dogs give off a bad vibe to all dogs it seems. They’re like the Voldemorts or something. Roscoe hatttttesss them….

7. I’m still amazed Roscoe doesn’t like watching TV even if Dogs 101 or It’s Me or The Dog is on. I figure he’d be into that stuff but he barely cares about TV. It’s interesting though that sometimes barks on TV are ‘legit’ and he’ll go nuts and other times he’ll know they’re fake.

6. Once every three months or so Roscoe will sit at the window and howl high pitched like a wolf.

5. Roscoe can’t swim. (We tried to take Roscoe and Lola swimming at this place called Water4Dogs here in NYC last year. It’s like an indoor pool/tank. We strapped lifejackets on the dogs and brought them in with us. They both were absolutely petrified and panicked. They kept trying to crawl up on us. After ten minutes and dozens of scratches all over us– we gave up on teaching the dogs to swim).

4. He’s the greatest boy dog in the world and he totally changed my life. I originally met the gf because of him at dog park and now look what happened all engaged and stuff! So much has happened because of a dopey dog.

3. He farts up a storm if he has too much cheese and the other day he had to go outside bad and he made diarrhea all over place in front of a couple kids who went ‘eewww…’ because it was all farty and stuff.

2. He’s definitely pissed that it hasn’t snowed properly in NYC all winter as snow might be his favorite nature thing. I’m sort of pissed about it too…

1. I wish him the happiest of happy birthdays. And I’m floored by how much I love him. Because of him I met my girl (and got Lola too) I do believe you can love a dog as much as a kid. Seven is a lucky number to me. Here’s my first Roscoe post if you wanna revisit….