The first season and a couple of episodes from season 2 (that concluded the Tuco arc) rocked. But now I’m finding myself seriously pissed off at Walt Sr. I won’t spoil anything, but he does some real dickish things in season 2. At first I could get behind the whole “average joe beats the system and fools all the cops” schtick, but I really can’t identify with Walt anymore. He’s not just flawed, he’s twisted, dare I say, evil. And I don’t buy the whole “I’m doing this because I’m too proud to accept charity” schtick anymore.

So, does it get better in season 3, or should I turn off the TV, and step outside a little more often?
—————————————–

From:
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com
Date: Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:15:37 -0400
Subject: FW: Astrochics banner

Todd, I enjoy visiting your site and was wondering if you could post my banner. The address is www.angeltoon.com/astrochics.html

Thanks and best wishes,
Angie
———————————

Subject: Helloo
From:
Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:08:11 +0100
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

Helloo,
My name is Lewis D and I make cartoons just like yourself now this is going to sound so weird it’s unbelievable, and if I was to read this yes it would go straight into the trash but please just read this all and at least consider it, now first I’m 13 my birthday is 22th October 1996 I live in the united kingdom Portsmouth I have been making cartoon on flash for nearly 3 years now and really like doing them, now I want to become a famous cartoon animator/manager you know like the person that runs it, and I’m just looking for some advice as you have done so well for yourself, just like some guide lines and where do you start what do I have to think of and stuff like that, I’m currently working on a flash document at the moment witch I hope to make popular but don’t know where to start, please help me thank you.

From Lewis.:)
——————————
Ay you! Couple of my friends just launched some stuff!
So I’m linking them on up here to show!

One is a ‘funny ass’ video featured on Funny or Die today!
Click here to watch Arts & Crafts! Coolio! Exclusive feature today!

And another is a brand spanking sparkly new cartoon company!
Check it on out! Dikkers Cartoon Company! Great stuff! Ages 3-300!

Watch and see! For your daily clickage-ing!
—————————————————–

To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com
Subject: balls story
From:
Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:45:39 -0400

Hi Todd,
One time i was all ready for the big night. my girlfriend and i were ready to finally have sex. i had great music and i prepared the room with candles and flowers. As soon as she came over we started making out. now this was her parents house but she had her own little room/apartment. so then we began to undress each other and then she started sucking on my jewels. she was sucking pretty hard that they started to get numb. All of a sudden, her father bursts in and catches us. she grabs her clothes and screams, “you sick perv, y did you make me suck your dick!” the father was really mad. she left the room and the father had a little talk with me. He pinned me on the wall like legit pinned me with some bar thing. he got his wife and they started hitting me in my balls. it hurt like hell! finally the wife came over with a brick and slammed my jewels together. i almost passed out. they untied me and kicked my one more time. the father even yelled out, ” i hope you will never be able to reproduce ever!”

Cory
——————————————————-
.
>>More ‘Balls’ stories here…

And MORE today! Emails, pets, balls story too!

—————————————-

Hey there! Just thought I’d show off me and my boyfriends children. Our rascal puppy is about 8 ‘onths old. Her name is Ripley. She gets beat up by the kitties. It’s pretty funny. Mustascha is the black and white cat. She’s about 7 years old and has half a mustache… Hence the name. The all black kitty is Gypsie. She is about a year old. Anywho, enjoy! -Randi from New Mexico

————————————————-

Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:13:34 +0200
Subject: www.Dumage.com
From:
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

Hi,
I just wanted to thank You for all links to my site from Yours.
If anything I can do to You, just send me e-mail.

Regards,
Bojan
————————————–
Date: Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:29:21 -0400
Subject: New Date My Mom Review
From: invasionofthebmovies@gmail.com
To:|

Gosh, I don’t know what could’ve compelled me to do another Date My Mom episode.

http://www.invasionofthebmovies.com/DateMyMom/dmm5.html

Enjoy!

————————————————–

I figured you’d moved on to a corner office or died or became a youth ministry leader or something. I had NO idea that THE Odd Todd continues on. Wow. Memories! Must fill my (diswasher-faded, thanks Cafe Press!) Coff-ay mug tomorrow in tribute. Seriously, hope all is going wellish for you.

Tim
————————————————-
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_supreme_court_miranda

Thought you would want to know… :-p

Gonna be a runaround day but here’s some emails to read and I’ll type somethings up laters and stuff!

————————————–

Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2010 19:04:55 -0400
Subject: internet archive
From:
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

Todd,

For an assignment for school, I was perusing the Internet archive and decided to search your site. I did one of the earliest dates possible – some time in 1999. You were selling greeting cards! I got a kick out of it, I thought you might too.

http://www.archive.org/

Meghan
———————————————
From:
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2010 17:24:10 -0400
Subject: hello todd from long island
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

I have enjoyed your cartoons and in June i was let go from bmw as a tech, now thank fully i an currently working for honda, your cartoons gave me faith and to bee positive. thank you
I would like to have a autograph from you on one of your cartoons. If that’s possible i would be greatful. Where do i need to send $$$ for postage and your autograph.
thank you again for making me smile thru the hard times, glad i found your site.
sincerely paul

———————————————
Just thought I’d send you a big “thanks” for putting my crap on
your site.

There were 24 extra hits to my blog on the first day, then 15 on
the next.

That’s 39 points of net-cred in my opinion. Maybe we saved
unemployed lives. Who knows?

In any case, I’ll continue to monitor our successes and/or failures
and/or boring shit.

Keep it real, man! (And I think the idea of cutting the hole in
the pocket was a stroke of pure slack-genius.)

http://www.subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

You must have heard of that, but whatever. I can’t figure it out.

-Graham
From:
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:36:59 -0500
Subject: Zinecube referral from OddTodd Site –
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

Hi –

I have a site that is currently in beta called zinecube.com and I saw that we had a referral hit from your blog, I checked out your site and didn’t see any links – was just curious if our link is posted someplace? Or if you reviewed what we are working on?

Love your blog, lots of good info!

Talk soon

Cory

(was a coolio funlink a while ago
——————————————-
Dude,

I am so impressed that you have your own company now, and a partner! Are you a limited liability partnership? I recommend it. I learned about it in business class: they can’t sue you, personally, for your business flopping.

Anyway, I was as equally as impressed by the list of people you’ve made animations for. I guess I have been watching some of them along the way, but never realized how you are building an empire, totally!

You rock, Odd tOdd!

God has really blessed you. Probably because of how you treat peons like me: you treat everybody nice. You reap what you sow, Mr. Odd.

Love, JB
——————————————
Hello Todd. Here’s another review for your consideration.

Pass the Salt, Please!! Not as in “pass on the movie SALT”; but rather “gimme some more of that fine SALT movie!”

I’ve been on a lucky-streak when it comes to movies for weeks now; having thoroughly enjoyed Inception, Predators, and Knight & Day (which is suffering from some poor marketing; and not up to the usual “Cruise-control” of the box office bucks). In a real life twist; I learned Tom Cruise was going to star in SALT; but withdrew and it was redesigned for Angelina Jolie. And in SALT she deliever the goods. She’s very Action-Capable; and this film helped to make up for my lackluster A-team and Jonah Hex disappointments earlier thjis summer.

The movie is a spy-thriller with some action and intense chase-scenes tossed in for extra seasoning. Very, very enjoyable to see a female lead handle action/fighting for her life and the lives of others. Which others? Keeps you guessing; but not in one of those confusingly layered espionage plots some spy thrillers suffer from. Which is great because it is never enjoyable to have to keep asking yourself or your seat-neighbor “who’s that?” and “what does that mean” and “when did that happen”?

Short and sweet; this approximately 1hour and 40 minute movie delivers just what the recipe calls for. This is one time you don’t have to worry about sodium content; except maybe on your popcorn.

Rating: Four out of Five Cookies.

Three good things about the movie:
1.Starts up like a buzz saw. I love movies (and books) that begin with sudden scenes such as : “We were walking in the park; it was a beautiful day. Then the first bullet slammed into me.” This movie does that quite well; it grabs you by the collar and says “come here; we’re goin g for a ride!”
2. fun watching a female lead not only hold her own but excel in a role like this
3.I loved the ending and found it to be a satisfying close; nicely bookending with the abrupt start.

Three bad things about this movie:
1. the whole husband angle is the main weak link; never really gets you invested–no real spoiler here.
2. not a bed thing I guess, but a copy-cat scene involving a spy-shoe—and we’re not talking like Maxwell Smart’s Shoe-Phone here!
3. a character’s medical situation (a grave one) was never expanded on (or resolved) as far as I could tell.
—————————————–

The first season and a couple of episodes from season 2 (that concluded the Tuco arc) rocked. But now I’m finding myself seriously pissed off at Walt Sr. I won’t spoil anything, but he does some real dickish things in season 2. At first I could get behind the whole “average joe beats the system and fools all the cops” schtick, but I really can’t identify with Walt anymore. He’s not just flawed, he’s twisted, dare I say, evil. And I don’t buy the whole “I’m doing this because I’m too proud to accept charity” schtick anymore.

So, does it get better in season 3, or should I turn off the TV, and step outside a little more often?
—————————————-

This one here:

Seems like a good dealio ($229 with the 10,000 btu whatever that is) and I got free shipping on it too! It arrived the other day and I lugged it up the stairs by myself like macho style! I realized its arrival was forcing me to make a decision about actually shoving my old A/C out the window… or not. If I was going full shove I’d have to prep and move the Vespa etc. Get the cameras ready for the smashdown and safety googles etc. It was gonna be a hassle…

Anyway, I walk up to my sad broken A/C (now dented up by my attempts to fix it with a hammer) and go to turn it on one last time. Since it broke I’ve been in half-denial about it being ‘seriously’ broken. Now and then I’ve been pushing the on button and expecting the compressor to make the deep hum power noise. But it never did. No once. Only straight hot-air fan. I tested it a dozen times over the past few days. It was broken. But this official last time I pushed ON… and ON it went! Full blast! Cold! I was like, ‘WTF!’ You’re… alive?!!’ It hummed happily like it was brand new…

I looked across the room at my brand new A/C sitting there sparkly new and was like f–kin A! Obviously, I’m not shoving my old A/C out the window now. That would be like appliance murder! And this A/C and me have been through alot together too. We’ve been in three apartments and it’s always done right by me. It would be a betrayal. I guess the old guy just couldn’t deal with the triple digit temperatures last week– or it panicked when it saw the new replacement A/C in my hallway and got its act together. It’s been working all weekend!

So I feel like I should let my old A/C live its life out in my window– at least thru the summer. I mean it’s apparently working– plus it’s already in the window! What am I gonna swap em out? If so, do what with the old one? Throw it away? Plus, how am I supposed to get motivated to swap out A/C’s now anyway? Especially when it’s nice and cool in here!

I checked into returning the new one and it’ll cost me $40+ to ship back AND I know if I actually do ship it back– my old A/C will konk out again right away. Then I’ll be triple lindy pissed! So I’m open to the idea of holding onto this new A/C for now. But I don’t really have storage for a big new boxed up A/C in my apartment! I guess I could sell it on Craigslist– but could I really get full price for it? If I’m gonna take a loss I might as well ship it back.

I dunno. All this twisty brain thinking is making me sleepy. So for now I’ll keep things as is (it’s the easiest solution) although it feels weird to have a brand big new appliance like hanging out in here boxed up never used. Makes me feel like a petty criminal or something. Like I have new DVD players, flatscreens, and a 1/2 lb of weed in the other room– and I’m only holding onto the A/C until I grift it. Or whatever the crook terminology is…

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. Why do appliance boxes always look like they fell off a truck?

1. People who feel the need to come to a full ten second stop before they make a turn into a restaurant, mall or other business and almost cause an accident because of it. I mean seriously do you lack the confidence to steer your vehicle in a different direction while it is still moving? Are you unsure of where you are supposed to pull in? Are you trying to decide if you want to stop there? If so, please for everyone’s sake, stop driving!

2. People who do not have their payment method ready after already standing in line at the store. You already knew when you entered the store how you were going to pay for your purchases. Now you are going to make everyone behind you wait while you decide or find your form of payment. Lets not pretend here, everyone knows what card or corner of their wallet holds the dough. Have it ready or get out of line until you do. Which leads me to my next gripe…

3. Those who insist on talking on their cellphone while completing a purchase. Here is another case of lack of planning. Conclude your call, THEN go to the register, counter whatever. I don’t care what so and so said to Suzie, don’t care where you are going to party tonight, I don’t want to hear about your last bowel movement. Get off the damn phone give the person who is trying to wait on you some respect and complete your purchase. Answer their questions, pay for your stuff and get the hell outta the way. Thank you.

OK that’s better.

Hope all is well Todd.:-)
-Miss Sara

—————————————————-
MORE STUFF TO READ>>>
Hi Todd,
I thought you might want to see what happened to me at work the other day:

http://cbs4.com/video/?id=97381@wfor.dayport.com

Well, it wasn’t just another typical boring flight! Best to you and Roscoe! Hope things are going well. You getting ready to retire? Let me know if you’re ever in Florida. We’ll do dinner.

All the best,
Patricia

Patricia Sund
Free Lance Writer
Web Log: “Parrot Nation”
http://parrotnation.com/

———————————————–

Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:14:39 -0700
Subject: FOOT’s!
From:
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

It’s a longshot, but the worst that can happen is…nothing!

New page, needing some traffic to get indexed with google. Lists of things, nothing adult or pornographic, of course, but similar to a blog without the comments.

Let ME be a foot and I’ll link the hell out of your page! It’s gonna rock!

Regards,

A.Robert L

—————————————————–

To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com
Subject: First Kiss
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2010 18:59:33 -0400
From:

Dear Odd Todd,

None of these stories is as embarassing as my first kiss!

My first kiss was at a movie theater with a whole bunch of friends around us. We were waiting around for our rides to come, I was 14, he was15, so we couldn’t drive. My boyfriend came over and hugged me when he saw his dad and he started walking out when all of my girl-friends started to make fun of me. All his guy-friends were like, “DO IT ALREADY”. Totally embarassing, I know. So they all walked outside to give us ‘privacy’. He sort of cornered me and leaned in, I freaked out and said, “Jake, I can’t!” Being the sweetest first boyfriend a girl could have he said, “It’s alright, let’s try again.” So, my first kiss happened, but it wasnt’t square on his lips. We laughed and he goes, “Here, let’s count.” So he counted to three and we went for it, laughed, and went to our respective rides home. Yeah.

For the rest of school that month people kept counting to 3 around me..

(more First Kisses to read here!)

—————————————————-

Dear Todd,

On behalf of this year’s mtp! reading committee I would like to thank you for your submission to CHERRY PICKING ’11. We had an overwhelming response to this year’s Turning Points, and were thrilled to receive so many first rate scripts.

This week, I had the opportunity to meet with this year’s CHERRY PICKING reading committee, a group of writers, actors, producers, and directors. The evening was full of insightful and thorough conversation (and sometimes debate) about each submission. Year after year, I am grateful for the time taken to give each play the benefit of a lengthy, thoughtful discussion. I was humbled to be in their company and hear the proceedings toward their final line up of plays.

I am happy to report that your script has been chosen for this year’s event! Nicole informed us that you might want to make some edits. Feel free to do so, just send A FINAL SCRIPT BY JUNE 30TH.

Your play will now be cast, rehearsed and featured in a night of readings. Be sure to see the dates/details below. In the meantime, spread the word, invite friends. You will be receiving a pdf invite to email, post, and share. Be sure your guests make reservations- the space is VERY limited. And get ready for this annual fun-filled event.

Thank you again for your time and your courage! We look forward to working with you.

Clare Mottola

Director/Producer

P.S. Don’t forget to mark your calendar!

—————————————————

Hiya tOdd,

People with your blood type react well to eating meat. In that I equate fish with meat. I’m happy for you and so I’m nervous of influencing you by what I’m about to say because I love that you can see a difference. That’s very important. But I need to tell you because I care about you and want you to make an informed choice. So here goes.

I learned most of this from Dr. Oz. In my opinion, the reason fish oil tablets are on sale now (everywhere, by the way: CostCo, GNC, ect.) is because they are finding that it’s toxic to take them. There is a lot of mercury in the little fishies’ livers and when we take the oil of what they’ve eaten, then we absorb what they’ve absorbed. I believe mercury is bad because it’s been linked to brain dysfunction in later life (Alzheimer’s). This is different than just eating the fish (though some are better than others on the mercury content), because the oil is concentrated.

Dr. Oz said that a better choice (or a non-mercury choice, anyway) is to instead take flax seed oil tablets, though this isn’t a complete set of Omega-3s, as fish oil is (I think it has to be a “Omega-3s combo” tablet for flax seed to be a complete set). But I don’t really understand the thing of it being “complete” or “incomplete.” Anyway, for what it’s worth, now ya know.

-M
————————————————–

This Friday – Animation Block Party will announce it’s official summer
lineup.

We received 518 entries in 2010 and will be showing just over 90 films
this July 30th through August 1st at the seventh annual Animation Block
Party.

The 2010 ABP festival prize jury is Amid Amidi of Cartoon Brew, Rachel
Simon of World Leaders Entertainment, Dave Schlafman of CloudKid and Ramin
Zahed of Animation Magazine.

Also, this Friday, ABP will be hosting a special “Best of NYC Animation”
showcase at L-Magazine’s Northside Festival.

http://www.thelmagazine.com/newyork/NFFilmFest/Page

ABP’s “Best of NYC” screening starts at 8pm only at indieScreen on Kent
Ave and South 2nd St in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and the post-screening will
feature a Q&A with participating animators, Odd Todd, Lisa LaBracio, Aaron
Hughes, Dan Meth and Emily Hubley.

————————————————–
Howdy Todd. Heres one.

Once a dude held me down by laying across my belly, couldnt move, he was huge, like 6’5″ 270 & beat my balls with a tv remote, I was in just basketball shorts, freeballin. LIKE 50 TIMES I thought my balls were going to fall off for a few days LOL.

All the Guys at my work are always suprise sucker punchin me, hard.
Once as I was sitting on the corner of my friends bed he dropped the fat end of a baseball bat right on my balls.

Another friend hucked a softball at me, layed back on the couch, THUMP! RIGHT in the nuts.

Haha having big low hanging balls can be dangerous

——————————————————-

HiYA Todd!!!

Love your work, as always. I have typed up a Guest Movie review for
Prince of Persia, and posted it on the Movie Chat forum. Please feel
free to move it to the Guest review page if you feel it is good enough.

Best of luck with all that is happening, especially the movie
negotiations.

Give Roscoe a pat for me,

Cheers,

Angry Man
—————————————————

Of course, by this point I had been distracted enough to forget her name altogether (again) even though we were just introduced (again). And she probably knew I was totally lying about re-remembering her. In that moment I was probably summed up as a self-absorbed wanker and a liar…

And when people I’ve met before say it to me I can’t help thinking, ‘How could this person not remember meeting me? I mean, forgetting other people is one thing but… nice to meet moi? I’m ME! You can’t forget ME! Illegal!’

So I’ve been struggling to completely remove ‘Nice to meet you’ from my social phrases. There’s really no point to it anyway. Like, if you spoke with someone on the phone before but never met them face to face– it’s more about, ‘Nice to meet you face-to-face…’ And if it’s definitely someone you’ve never met, ‘Nice to meet you’ seems like something you should say after you have a conversation. In which case it probably should be, ‘Nice to have met you.’ How they hell are you supposed to know if it’s nice to meet right off the bat? Is this something you can honestly say to someone with a sweaty handshake and something stuck in their teeth? (aka me)

Nice to meet you? What’s nice about it? In my head I’m simply struggling just to latch on to this person’s name– let alone sum up if the person is ‘nice’ or not. What’s so bad about, ‘How are you?’ It’s a safe zone and if that person reminds you that you’ve met previously– it’s much easier to spin into ‘I knew you looked familiar!!’ or something… But once you throw out the ‘nice to meet you’ to someone you’ve met– you gotta play huge catchup to get back in the person’s good graces.

So that’s it. I’m done ever saying, ‘Nice to meet you’ to anybody. There is no upside. Especially to a self-absorbed semi-dick like myself who can’t keep anything straight in his own head because I’m consciously distracted by insecurity combined with fascination with non-important details. (‘Is that a ladybug clip in her hair? What is that? Looks like Strawberry Shortcake or something.’ As her face and name float past my brain…)

I can’t trust my dumb self to lead the way in first impression situations so I’m finally learning to set up ground rules to I avoid any additional awkwardness.

If I really want to be safe, when meeting anybody– I should go with, ‘Hey! Awkward to meet you! Whether I’m meeting you for the first time or if I’ve met you before it’s still awkward for me– and now for you. If I met you before I absolutely may or may not remember you of course but if I haven’t met you please understand that I have to go through this whole speech thing because it’s the only way I can get into some comfort zone of not offending you and making things all awkward. Please tell me your name again and give me some sort of trick way to remember it so we can get started on the more formal weirdness of trying to present ourselves in the best light possible…’

ok bye!
tOdd

Wanna read some emails that come in? You can read a bunch here!

Animal stuff! Requests! Advice! Nice notes! A scary hitman threat! Oh no! And more!

ALSO if you posted comments re: my headphone thing and included links– I just saw they all got flagged bc the comments section filters URL stuff to avoid spam. Sorry bout that. Now fixed…

—————————————
Hey Todd,

Long time no speak, hope all is well. Small world, a friend randomly sent me one of your vids. I sent her a link to your site to check out more of your work.

I spent some time there myself today, GREAT WORK as always.
LOVED your movie reviews, laughed my ass off, although I’m afraid to see what will happen when you get a hold of one of my projects.
At the rate they’re going I may not be able read any longer anyway but that’s another story.

Hope all is good in your world. Let me know if you plan on being out here any time soon.

Take care
Steve
—————————————
Todd…I am a fan and have been from the start. I think you are brilliant! I remember when you adopted Roscoe. I am very active in promoting pet adoptions vs buying from breeders…or (god forbid) pet stores. I have an adopted Bichon who fills my life with joy. You have a huge following. Would you please do a story sometime encouraging people to adopt pets? It could help the cause. Rock On.

Hillary
—————————————-
From:
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com
Subject: Pilots-N-Paws
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2010 18:38:00 -0600

Hi tOdd:

It’s me, Stephanie, the pilot from Denver! I hope all is well with you and Roscoe.
I just wanted to remind all the people who visit your site about Pilots-N-Paws. PNP is a volunteer group of pilots that fly animals from high-kill areas or overwhelmed shelters to their forever homes, foster homes, or no-kill shelters. It’s springtime and that means lots of raids on puppy mills. Please, please, please let everyone know that there are amazing dogs at their local shelter and if they absolutely have to have a dog from a breeder, do your homework! Then go and get one from a shelter
These dogs live in the worst conditions, are treated so badly and discarded when they are no longer useful. I’m hoping for a special place in hell for the people who run these mills….

I included some photos of my trip today from Kansas to Utah.

Take Care,
Stephanie
www.pilotsnpaws.org

—————————————
Hey Todd –

L-Magazine just announced the ABP screening at the end of this month and they placed us on Friday, June 25th at 8pm instead of the following day, which is where I thought we’d be… is that day still okay for you to do the Q&A?

http://www.thelmagazine.com/newyork/NFFilmFest/Page

Please give a heads up.

Thank you,
Casey
————————————–
Hi Todd,

My husband and I have been big fans of you and Roscoe since before you had Roscoe!

Anyway, I wanted to share a link with you because you have such a large following. I posted it on my wall, but wanted to make sure you also saw it.

It is a horrible video, but something people need to know is going on. It is up to us to protect these poor animals!

Thanks!
Chris
http://tinyurl.com/364zo7a

—————————————-

From:
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 2010 04:11:34 -0400
Subject: balls story
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

dude ive got dozens of stories, (im 1 of thos guys with big low hangers LOL) my buds r always punchin me in the nuts. if ya get a chance, lets talk

—————————————
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 2010 16:19:52 -0700
From:
Subject: Cook-ay slots idea…
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com

Hey OT, just wondering if you’ve ever considered offering your cook-ay slots game, as an idea to your local lottery corporation as a scratch and win.Could make you some good cash.

-Orka

————————————–

From:
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com
Subject: Help required
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 2010 23:48:57 +0000

Dear Todd,

The words Mon-ay, Coff-ay, Elf Up and Mep have been frequently used by myself and friends over the last 8 years I think or certainly there abouts, I wish to thank you for your hilarious videos and indeed excellent site.

My life jobwise is fairy turbulent (I think of how much I increased profits by everytime I re-write my CV) and I have found myself in a similiar situation again, although I am working but have a lot of free time on my hands after splitting with my ex, and have realy been thinking quite hard about how I would like to spend my spare time. Having two nights ago broken my ankle after drunkely falling down some stair’s I have decided that whatever it is i’m going to do sitting down!! What i have decided I would like to do is (purely for my own amusement) make some flash cartoons and hopefully make a few people chuckle on the way. I’ve been looking on the internet at software and I cant seem to find a program where I can do 2D animation and add sound etc on the one program as well as it being suitable for novices. After much searching I decided that I needed to ask the guru and person of whom gave me much amusement and the idea of messing around with some animation as a hobby. Basicly what i’m asking is take pity on a poor dumped, crippled, unemployable bum and advise me on the best possible course of action I could take to start doing this and any pointers too!

Like I said, i’ not doing this for monetary gains, i just like the idea of producing a cartoon!

If the heartfelt plea, compliments and my own self degedation is not enough to persuade you for your help, i also pledge myself to buying $25 of Todd merchandise (which to be fair i’ve always wanted a Coff-ay cup anyway….).

Thanks for reading this and I hope to hear from you soon!

Kindest of kind regards,

Jon

(goanimate.com)

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Todd:
Loved the rant—thought you might like this gem if you missed it ….when did this happen 5 yrs ago nope 5-25-10

—that’s right LAST WEEK!!!!!!

Good Vibes
BP-owned Alaska oil pipeline shut after spill
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE64P04U20100526
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I have to say, you are an inspiration. I am a science journalist trying to figure out where the world of explanatory science writing is going. I am not sure, but I have to say that I imagine it might look a lot like your work once it gets there. Keep going.

E r i k

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Hello

This is the only way I could contact you for now,I want you to be very careful about this and keep this secret with you until I make out space for us to see. You have no need of knowing who I am or where I am from.I know this may sound very surprising to you but it’s the situation.I have been paid some ransom in advance to terminate you with some reasons listed to me by my employer.It’s someone I believe you call a friend, I have followed you closely for a while now and your home location has made my job very easy but have seen that you are innocent of the accusations he leveled against you. Do not contact the police or try to send a copy of this to them,because if you do, I will know,and I might be pushed to do what I have been paid to do.Besides, this is the time I turn out to be a betrayer in my job.I took pity on you,that is why I have made up my mind to help you if you are willing to help yourself.

Now listen,I will arrange for us to see face to face,but before that, I need $15,000. I will come to your home or you determine where you wish we meet; I repeat, do not arrange for the cops and if you play hard to get, it will be extended to your family.Do not set any camera to cover us or set up any tape to record our conversation, my employer is in my control now. Payment details will be provided for you to make a part payment of $10,000 first,which will serve as guarantee that you are ready to co-orperate,then i will post a copy of the video tape that contains his request for me to terminate you which will be enough evidence for you to take any legal action against him before he employs another person for the job. You will pay the balance of $5,000 once you receive the tape.

Warning; do not contact the police, make sure you dont sleep with your two eyes closed until this whole thing is sorted out,if you neglect any of these warnings, you will have yourself to blame. You do not have much time, so get back to me immediately.

Note:I will advise you keep this to yourself alone, not even a friend or a family member should know about it because it could be one of them. Here is a private mail you can reach me @xxx

After a couple months, these crap headphones started fritzing and soon enough one of the ear buds (left side) was out altogether. (They’re made by Griffin. Griffin Headphones.) Anyway, this morning I was reminded again of the fact that they’re broken with the one silent bud and I got annoyed. Not only because they’re broken but because I keep forgetting I have the ongoing project of researching replacement headphones which is on the list of 50 other things I’m not doing.

So today, with both buds in my ears and music playing out of only the one good side– I got out the scissors and decided to snip off the left bud cord. I was sick of it dangling and being broken. I was gonna rock my iPhone all old school one bud 70′s transistor radio style! But as soon as I snipped through the dead left cord– the music in the right bud stopped! Dead silence! I was like, ‘WTF, I only cut off the left cord! Why did the working bud need the other bud cord to function?!’

(Yes, I know I’m not describing this well but if you follow what I’m saying– you know what I’m saying…)

Long story not short enough— there was a pretty good reason the headphones stopped working. Click through for the photo of my now totally non-working headphones to see what I snipped…

Friggin total duh. Sometimes I get scared that I’m actually top secretly very stupid…

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. If you have any good iPhone headphones that aren’t the standard ones– please post recommendations below.

PPS. I know the title of this post is the best part of this post…

There’s activity all around. Lots to distract his thoughts. Jet skiers buzz by annoyingly loud. Grinning surfers paddle past airheadedly. Dreamy yachts in the distance drift. Younger swimmers sometimes stop and ask if he’s ok. Not too long ago he saw a bloated dead body with a sea gull standing on it. Everything is finite. He knows. But he keep swimming. His legs are strong. His heart is strong. He kicks his feet and waves his arms like wings.

Sharks dart by now and then. Playful or scary. They bump his legs sometimes. Their skin feels like sandpaper. He knows at any moment one can take a chunk out of him. If he swims in circles for too long he knows they’ll get bored and hungry. They bit him once years ago to make it clear that he was simply a dinner guest in their ocean. A warning bite. The scar has since healed but they can’t be trusted. He is prepared to punch for their eyes first if the time comes.

Now and then clouds rumble in the distance. The sun ducks out to make room for the storm. The water gets and gives chills. The randomized surf karate chops his face. He gets numb and wonders if he should wave for help. The sea heaves. He makes sure not to gulp. Then things calm down again. He rides out the storm until the sun warms his face and he regains strength.

But the time has come to start heading toward something. He will focus on a direction. Any one direction will do. Toward a nearby boat. Toward the dock. Toward the island way off in the distance. Toward the rocks even. Or maybe just straight out to sea to try and hitch a ride in the shipping lanes. He imagines being hiked aboard and traveling off to an exotic land where the shippers hail. He’ll go any place but back to the shore. Not after all this time.

Today is the day he stops treading water and starts swimming toward destination. No longer will he simply admire his own ability to avoid drowning. No more will he let the tides control him to and fro. No longer can he burn days watching what other people do in the ocean. He knows he’ll never be a surfer. The sharks are looking increasingly bored. He assumes a direction to be true– takes a deep breath and starts to crawl.

If you want one you can get one here!

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#2 Opera Browser

I’ve had issues with browsers for years. IE sucks now and is annoying. Even though it’s the “most popular”— in reality, it’s the Zune of browsers. Plus, I have a 64bit computer and it’s extra special stupid with 64bit. So it got itself fired. F-IE.

Yadda, I know Firefox is supposed to be all great and stuff but I think it’s whatevery and too cocky. Firefox thinks it’s sooo cool and rebellious! Ooh! When’s the next version coming, Firefox?! Let me know so I can make sure I get my pants down in time! Gimme a break. Maybe in version 10 you’ll figure out how to get your stupid browser to remember my passwords? And cut the shit with the slowness and freezings? Plus, secretly ‘Firefox’ is a lame name. Fire…Fox?

Blah blah, I’ve used the “Flock” browser as my default for a couple years– but it’s a dumb dumb browser and recently increasingly buggy. Long story etc. Plus using ‘Flock’ is embarrassing when people come over. I think they think I’m trying to be ‘edgy’ with my funky browser like a geeked out douche.

But the other day, I took down the Opera browser (out of sheer desperation mixed with procrastination). I hesitated on the install because I remember Opera from back in the day when it served banners in your face and was all sad and stupid– thinking people would pay to have the banners removed or something.

Shockingly, turns out that it friggin rocks now! (For alot of reasons. I won’t bore you with them all). But all annoying things with the others are gone with Opera. I seriously think Opera is the best browser. It definitely seems faster. (And don’t sell me on Safari. It sucks. You know it sucks.)

If you hate your browser try Opera!…

Isn’t it time we stopped answering the phone as if we don’t know who is calling? We see caller-ID. We know who it is…

I mean with certain close friends I’ll answer the phone acknowledging that I know it’s them. But for the most part I answer the phone as if it’s still a mystery caller.

Like I can see on the called ID that’s it’s totally Joe Schmo but I’ll answer the phone like, ‘Hello?’ and then Joe Schmo will be like, ‘Hey man! It’s Joe Schmo! Whatchoo know?’ And I’ll be like, ‘Oh hey! Joe Schmo!’ As if it’s some kind of new info?

I think it’s time to flip the switch on our phone call answering techniques to say hello to the person who is calling right off the bat. It’s not like top secret information. I’m not being ‘fancy’ with caller-ID. It’s just the reality now. Next time Joe Schmo calls me I’m gonna answer the phone with, ‘Hi Joe Schmo!’ (and then I’ll tell Joe Schmo that I’m on the other line and can’t talk– and then I won’t call Joe Schmo back because he’s kind of a dick. Maybe I should just screen it actually..)

Realization #2!

Video phone is the big belly flop of new technology, right? I mean I haven’t worked in an office lately so maybe it’s common with business and stuff– but in terms of Skyping from home it seems like the communication shift just doesn’t stick. Everyone I know who tries video phone is impressed and wowed– and they do it for a couple weeks. Then it’s done.

Except for maybe sex skype or some family occasion stuff etc– it seems nobody wants to have their phone conversations evolve to be video phone conversations full-time. Why would I want to see the person I’m talking to for no reason? Why would they want to see me? Why be annoyed fiddling with a camera? Why make things more awkward?

At first I thought maybe this was a generational thing. Like in ten years or whatever kids will be all about video phone calls through the TV or their phones or whatever. But I think it’s simply not happening. There’s no big upside to video phone– unless someone is doing a presentation, or taking their top off, or has a dog that wants to say hello — or all three.

ok bye!
tOdd