DAILY FACT i LEARNED FROM THE TV
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11/25

So tonight 60 Minutes told me that alot of lazy-ass corporations like TJ Maxx and playing it fast and loose with our personal info by beaming it around wirelessly via WEP. Not sure what WEP is but it apparently sucks ass and dudes are just snagging credit card numbers and person info out of the air like snowflakes. The cyber-robbers just drive around in their cars and pass by stores until they pick up a signal and then they just start recording stuff or something. They call it War Driving. Anyway, if you shop at TJ Maxx they probably screwed you.

Here's some hacker tv-style show on youtube called Hak.5 talking bout wardriving...

11/19

Tonight I watched a semi-scary semi-BS show about the Freemasons. And how our whole country was founded by Freemasons. And how the Freemasons designed our dollars with hidden messages. And how George Washington wore a Freemason apron. And how the Freemasons blah blah whatever with their secret unions and connections to Egyptian whatever the hell. But the one thing that I saw which was kind of coolio... apparently Washington DC streets were mapped out to make giant Freemason symbols.

Here's a site that dug into it all...

11/18

Today TV told me that people who claim to be morally superior often are more scummy than your non-morally superior person. Apparently alot of people who get it in their heads that they are like do-goodery superio can have an easier time rationalizing doing bad things. Like they'd cheat on a test to help improve their chances of being a doctor and eventually helping the world. That kind of thing. I guess that's how some of the super religious folks get all tripped up in their head.

Like this hoser...

11/16

So I watched this show called MANswers on Spike which I thought was actually pretty funny. It's a show for dopey guys. And it told me the type of animal that is umm... apparently most like a woman in that way. It's not sheep or horses or whatever. It's a sea creature called a Dugong which apparently has similar woo-woos to women. Sailor dudes back in the day used to bang em and the Dugong really might be the origin of what eventually became 'Mermaids...'

Here's goes a Dogong mermaid. Apparently now endangered. Maybe they should wear lingerie or something to respark interest...

11/15

Emeril told me you never ever sweeten cornbread.

Here's a recipe for sweetened cornbread.

11/14

Tonight Rosanna Scotto told me that one night of binge drinking will not affect the development of a baby in the womb. But she made it clear that women shouldn't drink while pregnant. It's like... 1. How did they do this experiment? Bring pregger chicks to a bar and get em wasted and then wait a bunch of months to see what happens? 2. How bout just not publicizing this information? Is it really necessary to let people know that?

I dunno. I guess you gotta consider the source...

11/13

News did a dumb report tonight. They said experts say you can tell alot about someone's personality by the coffee they drink. Skim latte people are high maintenance. Decaf drinkers are expressing an associated addiction. Espresso drinkers like stuff mainstreamed.

11/12

So today I was shocked to find out that 23% (twenty-f'in-three!!!!) percent of our nation's homeless are vets! VETS! And that our vets are still fighting to get medical benefits and continued care for their friggin injuries because of low funding and bureaucratic crap. You gotta be kidding me!!? Our government is a limp disgrace hiding behind shame! Maybe we should get some old fashioned anarchy going or get a Duke of New York A #1 Snake Pliskin situation because this machine is officially broken...

Even this looks more promising than what we got now...

11/11

Tonight I watched a horror show called Keeping Up with the Kartashians. I'm not sure what a Kartashian is but there was this daughter (who seemed to think she was a star) with a big butt who was debating whether she should pose naked in Playboy or not and her mom (who seemed to think she was a star) who was super annoying posed naked instead or something. The whole thing made me embarrassed to own a television.

I guess there's a debate about her butt. I can settle it. It's a fake butt! Look at it...

11/10

So I found out today that the United States is pushing to control 63 of the 80 or so oil fields in Iraq. Not only 'control' but actually own. That's what's being pushed through the 'Iraqi Parliament' right now. If that happens and the Iraqi government passes that... it means it will be sort of impossible for us to leave Iraq because we will need to establish what they're calling 'super bases' to protect our actual property etc. Uh oh. Democracy...o.

Here's a map where all the oil lies...

11/9

Today morning news chick told me about the 'germiest' places in your typical day. Talking about how yoga mats are disgusting. And ATM buttons are contaminated with black plague and people should press the buttons with their knuckles. And how women shouldn't put their bag on the subway floor. Then the news guy chimed in and said, 'I won't even wear the clothes I wear on the subway in my apartment! Sit on the subway then sit on my couch? No way!' Then he got shameful and said, 'I probably sounds like a germaphobe, huh?' And the two other anchors stopped and looked at him like he was mental. Was sort funny.

Here goes germy places!

11/8

Today I saw a new thing about robots which was weird. I wasn't totally clear on what they're talking about but there's this new robot that's programmed to be 'conversational'. Like it'll tell you nice things about you. Or talk about the weather. Or give encouragement or whatever. Seems sort of coolio. No mention on what it whispers to you while you sleep tho...

Here's the robot wabbit.

11/7

Sorry ain't no daily factizoidal yesterday. Didn't watch alot of TV. Was busy watching the original Titanic movie called A Night to Remember. I usually don't like old flicks but this one was like surprisingly fun and stuff and alot of the dudes in it looked like the dudes in the new Titanic movie.

Here goes Titanic. Sorta looks more impressive in the movies..:

11/6

TV told me about boobs today. Lady said that women concerned that breastfeeding will make their boobs saggy-- can relax about that. Some science dudes used their degrees to study the sagginess of boobs and claim that the breastfeeding isn't what may make boobs sometimes sag. The pregnancy is really the culprit there. The feeding don't make no difference. Also they said smoking might cause some sagginess or whatever. No word on how smoking while breastfeeding might affect the boobs...

Here's something semi-disturbing...

11/5

Today I found out that genetic science dorks have been screwing around with mice and they invented some kind of 'Mighty Mouse'. These new improved mice are stronger, they live longer, and have better sexual stamina. Why is that 'sexual stamina' keeps weaving its way into all scientific discoveries? Three words are coming true: Boners Drive Science. Anyway, the scientist guy said the Mighty Mouse is only the first step to a race of Monster Mice which will grow 200-300x the size of a regular mice and go on a rampage of destruction and drink the oceans dry.

Here's some mighty mouse video stuff and stuff.

11/4

So TV news guy told me that ocean nerds found the oldest living creature. It's some clam that is 405 years old. They said when this clam was a baby clam Shakespeare was writing plays and stuff. So who's the winner in that contest? Sure maybe Shakespeare wrote some decent stuff (personally I find it unreadable) but Clammy McClam is still alive! If you asked Shakespeare if he'd rather write all those plays or live for hundreds of years... what would he pick?

I'm thinkin Clammy McClam is the winner! Congrats to Clammy...

Clamface.   Clammy Sosa.   Clam diggers.

 

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