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DECEMBER 2005
12/30
So yesterday I was watching Twilight Zone on SciFi (it was the one where the kid gets the phone and talks to the dead grandma thing) and the show looked all wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it at first but then I realized the video looked way too clean and new. Like it was filmed yesterday. They're doing some new remastering technique to black and white TV which digitally makes everything look cleaner and tighter. STOP THIS! It's horrible! I don't want it! I like grainy! It's like colorization --but in black and white! Another example of technology just because you could... doesn't mean you should! Leave it alone! (Or maybe my eyes are just going mental and everything is fine...)
Here's the the whole kaboodle of the twilight zone. And a blah blahy origin of "kit and kaboodle"...
12/25
Tonite TV told me that the christmas tree grower people are in trouble. Apparently 70% of the christmas trees bought this year were artificial (including this dorked-out upsidedown christmas tree situation). So the growers are turning to science to like try and turn things around. They're working on genetically modifying trees to hold onto their needles longer and have sturdier branches and stuff. That's phase one. Phase two will have trees grow oversized 'light-up berries'. Natural big berries that light up and look like ornaments! Phase one will be over the next couple years. Phase two will probably come along somewhere around 2330.
Here's an ugly christmas lights situation. Poke around. Tis fun.
12/23
So yesterday I learnt from tv that some South Korean scientist dude named Hwang Woo-Suk went around bragging that he made this big advancement with stem cell research. And everyone was like, 'Cool! Dude! Nice work total on the stem action! Friggin phat!' And he was sort of like downplaying it like, 'It's totally not a big deal yo so let's not make a big deal about it...' And they were like, 'Dude no way dude! This is good stemskizzle! We're alerting the media and s**t!' Soon after it was discovered that the scientist dude didn't really do what he said he was just making stuff up to look nerdly cool. Dude! You can't go making up numbers in science to make things work! What field does he think he's in? Corporate accounting?
They were initially suspicious about the legitimacy of his work after he released this animation about the eggs used in his stem cell research...
12/22
Tonite TV told me that scientists discovered two more rings around Uranus. Yippee-ki-yay.
Not to be rude, but isn't it time for Uranus to have a name change. I mean the term "rings around Uranus" is sort of a joke in itself. So here's an idea for what to do about it's goofy name-- we auction off rights to rename Uranus every year. And like if Dairy Queen wins the bidding war they can rename it 'Planet DQ' or whatever! Much cooler anyway! All proceeds go to charity or to further the space program or something! Boom done, right? Damn that's a solid idea! Swish! Plus I think the people of Uranus will appreciate not being the butt of so many jokes... so to speak.
12/21
Today I found out that the new hot smuggling item isn't drugs or bootleg stuff. It's puppies. There's apparently a new racquet in Mexico that's smuggling puppies over the border to sell in the states. For the most part we're talking chihuahuas and poodles. So y'all down in southern caly be wary of buying puppies at flea markets and stuff. Most likely they're illegal alien puppies who don't have their shots and have fake paperwork and stuff.
Not sure what this is all about but here.
12/20
Slept in the city last night and didn't watch much tv sorry bout that.
12/19
So today a TV science show told me about these dudes who go out to Nevada with souped up bicycles and go for the human powered speed record. I figure I bike could go like 40MPH but these mofos are like super souped up and the top speed is like 80 something miles an hour. I think it has something to do with aerodynamics and peddling extra fast and stuff. I once rode my bike with no hands to impress a girl and the front wheel went all sideways and I went over the handlebars and landed on my head and went all unconscious and I could never do math again.
Here's some pics from the souped up bikes.
12/18
So I found out some artsy nerds with too much time on their hands spent time designing a program that will interpret Mona Lisa's smile. They found out that she's like 83% happy and 3% totally pissed off and 6% moody in general and 7% stoned out of her mind and 9% clepto and then like 1% farting silently proud.
But this article claims different results...
12/17
Totally sorry no daily fact on this day. But it was December 17th and everyone knows in double 3 leap years that fall under the C-Realm Vortex (or the D-Fine Cementor) most likely the 17th would be way over-energized when compared to the subwarp dynamic institutional paraflynn.
Here's some sort of gibberish generator.
12/16
Hey! Tonite a tv show was talking about the most expensive holiday gifts this year. Robots and virtual reality machines that seemed kind of coolio but one toy stood out that claimed it was "guaranteed to turn your kid into an insufferable prick within 48 hours..." I thought that was sort of a weird slogan for a toy- but I'll take em at their word.
Here tis. There's a slideshow of other toys too...
12/15
Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I was running around doing some things here and there with this and that and TV was talking all about the possible transit strike here in NY which now doesn't seem like its gonna happen which surprises nobody probably. They've gone with a 'selective' strike (shutting down some buses here or there) Lame. Yawn. Better factoidzoid later!
Here's some subway art! Bang!
12/14
Last night I saw Richard Gere was running around India trying to raise AIDS awareness and being all spiritual and stuff. At first I was like, Ug! Look at Richard Gere running around playing moviestar savior! What a tool! But the more the story went on I realized I was being actually being a total jerk. He's actually doing something really good and important and sincere. So sometimes moviestars doing worldwork aren't just big dopes looking for a photo op-- sometimes they're actually big dopes actually doing really important work!
Here's his dilly.
12/13
Tonite I found out that the Pentagon considers peace activists a threat. They've been busy monitoring anti-war protests taking down license plate numbers and compiling a database of people who attend rallys or organize em or whatever. The lady on tv said that it might be at a point where they're sending secret spies into peace organizations to collect information. So chickies be aware! That bearded dude sitting there strumming away at a guitar playing Dust in the Wind at a rally may not be some hearthrobby passionate activist. He might just be a dickweed from the Pentagon who may just bed you down to get some inside scoop.
Here's some stuff about the dilly with the Pentagon.
12/12
TV told me about a group of people that's pro-human extinction. Basically they feel that humans are such a threat to all other living creatures that it would really only be fair if all humans just went away. Because humans are only one species but we threaten a gagillion other species. So to be fair we should step aside and let nature take over without us all up in nature's grill being dicks. Totally sounds like a good plan!... umm... except for the no more humans part.
Here's the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement website.
12/11
Tonite I watched the end of survivor and man it seems that Pontiac just can't seem to pull together a decent ad campaign around this show. First it was that family truckster terrible aztec. Now I'm supposed to schlep my ass down to a pontiac dealer to fill out some survivor secret scroll to like ummm win a car or something dopey. It's like the guys who designed the aztec are also thinking up the ad campaigns...
Here's some guy who isn't thrilled with his aztec...
12/10
Tonite I found out that the earth's magnetic poll is shifting over. (which was weird. you'd think things like magnetic poles wouldn't 'shift'. but apparently they're shifting) I assumed that would mean that the earth would soon spin off its axis and we'd go hurtling into space, plummet down into a black hole and fly out the other side and land in a pile of pink plasma with a big SPLUT! And the earth would slowly sink into the plasma glop and we'd all be like,'NOOOO!' and all hug then it'd be gurgle gurgle... and that would be that. But apparently the only real threat is that Alaska will lose its northern lights. Which also sucks.... just not as bad as the pink plasma scenario.
Here's some shots of the northern lights.
12/9
Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. Well I did learn something actually. There was this thing on the news that exposed some 'seen on tv product' as a big ripoff. I forgot the name of the thing but it was some white tablet that you boil then soak your pots in and it supposed to clean them in seconds. It doesn't clean anything. It's a big ripoff. Surprise surprise. So don't buy that thing.
Here's the worst geek products of 2005!
12/8
So today tv told me that performing monkeys in Indonesia may be spreading diseases around (surprise surprise). If you hang out with them for a while and they fling some poo in your mouth or something you can contract some weirdo monkey pox or something. So there's a warning out to watch your ass around performing monkeys ....unless they are imaginary...
...like this one (named Jeremy) who is now for sale. Happy bidding!
12/7
So tonite I was watching the local news and they were blabbing all about that dude that got shot on the airplane today. (For you no-news-is-good-news-so-i-don't-watch-the-news-at-all people-- some dude went mental on a plane and got shot by an air marshall. done.) Anyway, they were talking about it and the newslady asked some psyche doctor dude, 'Don't most people who threaten to have a bomb or actually physically bring a bomb on a plane suffer from some kind of mental disorder?' And guest guy was like, 'Umm... yes... yes I believe they do.' It was good stuff. I love local news dopes.
You wanna know how to build a bomb in the United States Public School System!? Click here!
12/6
Today I got an update on the story with .xxx. Some weird corner of the global government has been bouncing around the idea of moving all porn sites under the .xxx domain. Which I think is actually not a bad idea. Things have apparently stalled out because a group of senators "... want some sort of guarantee that their current memberships will get transferred over."
If the migrate over to .xxx maybe I'll get this back www.oddtod.com. NOT WORK SAFE + annoying popups! (I let it lapse a year or so ago like a dope)
12/5
Today TV told me that there's a new way to meet people in New York. It's called Yappy Hour. Basically you schlep your dog to some bar or something where other people schlep their dogs. Then you chat about dogs while your dog sniffs the other dogs butt. And they serve hors d'oeurves to the dogs. Some yenta on the Today Show was talking about it and laughing like a cartoon dog the whole time. Seemed coolio but I think it would be more fun to see the same kind of thing with parrots or turtles or hamsters.
Here's some decked out doggies.. Click around.
12/4
So today I was watching Pet Keeping with Mark Morrone and a parrot landed on a dogs back! It was awesome! Mark Morrone also told me why must dogs spin around and around before they lie down. It's left over from the time they were in the wild and they'd tramp down the grass to make a little bed before going to sleep. So that sort of stuck around in all dog coding or whatever. Not in my dog tho. My dog just flops down next to the can like a drunk.
Anyways, here's some wild dogs being wild.
(On a side note, it snowed today and it was the first time Roscoe stepped in snow and he freaked out and wanted to go back in the house. I had to carry him down the front steps and plop him in the snow. Couldn't blame him tho. If it never snowed ever before and it snowed all of a sudden I would think it was the end of the world..)
What's with all the cold stuff everywhere?
12/3
TV told me today about a new 3-wheeled vehicle that looked way coolio. It's made by the Dutchand its called 'The Carver'. It's sort of a car that handles like a motorcycle. With the leaning left and right and all that. But you're inside so if you wipe out you're.. um... inside instead of...umm.. outside bouncing along on your head. Doubt they'd ever get approved to be legal over here but I would like to have one immediately vroom vroom please great thank you ok bye your welcome.
Here be this never-ever-will-be-seen-on-american-soil sporty ride!
12/2
No fact this day because I'm a spacey dope.
12/1
Today I found out some diggers dug up a fossil of what looks like a giant scorpion from back in the day. Apparently before we walked around this planet like dopes there were scorpions as big as people walking around like dopes. Then something happened and that was that for them. The guy on tv said they may have extincted when a galactic mega-iceberg from jupiter crashed into the planet and froze it like a eskimo pie...or something. I dunno. I was half-paying attention....
Man, I miss those giant scorpions. I haven't seen one since.... Clash of the Titans!