DECEMBER 2002

12/31

I done seen on some dumb 'news' show one of those big giant bottles of champagne is called a 'Nebuchadnezzar' cause it was named after some king from way back in the day who partied hard or something...

Here's how you're 'supposed' to open a bottle of champagne- but I say aim for lamps.. Cheers!

12/30

I found out the 'Northern Lights' are going to be brighter this year because there were more sunspots then there was last year. The Northern Lights happen when molecules and electrons get bombarded with protons and neutrons which form...um...  ribo...nucleotides? Or something. I think I might have heard him wrong.

Laugh it up, smartypants. Try this here. I got a 40%.

12/29

I watched some of the PBR (Professional Bull Riders Association) Minneapolis Invitational. There was this bull named Coyote that was named Coyote cause when Coyote was born some coyotes came and bit off Coyote's tail. Thus the name Coyote.

Here are some other names for another coyote...

12/28

I found out today that there is this stuff called 'Dark Energy'. Dark energy is fueling the universe to expand more and more rapidly all tugging on the fabric of time and space or something. We're gonna launch something called the Supernova Acceleration Probe (SNAP) to see if the universe expansion fashizzle is all hizzle, mahnizzle.

Oh SNAP!

12/27

I learnt today that a good pet to have is a North American Wood Frog because when you go on vacation you don't have to worry about putting it in a frog kennel or something. Just chuck it in the freezer and freeze it solid.  Then when you come back just thaw it out and it'll be fine.

Here's what they sound like when they're not frozen. Here's what they sound like when they are frozen.

12/26

I seen on the news that this dude John Quigley has been 'tree sitting' in a really old oak tree for 54 days. He's trying to prevent the city from 'moving' it somewhere else cause they wanna build something or something. He got dental work done up in the tree and has no plans to leave. I'm not sure how the bathroom situation works up there... the oak tree might not appreciate that aspect somehow...

He's got a long way to go before he gets into the Ecology Hall of Fame..

12/25

Sorry no new fact today. I watched the channel that just showed a burning fireplace for a while tho. Nothing really to learn there except I miss having a fireplace. I had a small fireplace in my first apartment in the city which was like a 300sq ft. studio. I used to make fires in there and my whole apartment would fill up with smoke. Once I had to dump water in the fireplace cause the smoke got like out of control. 

Anyway here be some tips on fireplace fires.

12/24

So I saw on BBC news that Brazil has this floating Christmas tree going. I think the newslady said it was 82 meters tall and floating in a pool or something. I'm not sure how tall that is feet or whatever but she said it's the largest floating christmas tree in the world. Makes you wonder if some other country put up an 80 meter tall floating christmas tree and are like all pissed now...

You can decorate a tree here if you wanna...

12/23

I saw on MTV today that there is this thing called the Wing Suit. It's a suit skydivers can wear when they feel like jumping out of a plane without a parachute.

Here's a picture of the suit in action- worn by its inventor Patrick Gayardon (January 1960 - April 1998. RIP.)

12/22

National Geographic Explorer did a whole thing about Lord of the Rings and they talked about how Tolkien actually invented a language for the elves to speak. Smarty pants. It's called Elvish. Here's a sentence in Elvish: Mára aurë! Heca, fírimar! Tye-méles alta palüures!

And here's a Lord of the Rings personality test for ya. I got gandalf which is kind of weird because a wizard has to remember spells and potions and  stuff and I can't even remember to buy stamps. (after the test they'll email you details if you want. bleh.)

12/21

So the TV told me about how all these space agencies are building space robots that will land on comets. Scientists think we can eventually use comets for colonization. Because comets have water in them or something and we can use the water. Some scientists think drinking the comet water will allow people to live to be 500 years old. They also believe that comet water will raise IQs to over 1000. In the scientific community, those scientists are called 'crazy'.

But some people say screw NASA. Let's go to Mars on our own terms...

12/20

So a few years back the government opened up the Waste Isolation Pilot Plant (WIPP) which is like this big hole under New Mexico where they're storing all nuclear waste and radioactive stuff and stuff. It was finished like a decade late and cost a few hundred million more than they expected. But it's up and running and all aglow.

Here's a map so you can check and see if radioactive stuff trucking to WIPP there travels through your area. Drive safe..

12/19

Back in the day, people building bridges would get the 'bends' because they'd dig tunnels and come up too fast. During the building of the Brooklyn Bridge alot of workers died or got paralyzed from the bends. St. Louis was building the St. Louis bridge at the same time but their workers didn't suffer from the bends like they did in brooklyn. Because St. Louis dudes knew what caused it. But they didn't share that information. Because they were dicks.

Anyway here's some info on Emily Roebling.

12/18

I saw a commercial today for something called the Ove Glove. It's like an oven mitt but it has fingers like a glove. I just want to state for the record that this was my idea first. I thought of it like five years ago and never did anything about it- but I filed a mental patent pending on it and they totally infringed..

Here's tis along with some other stuff that I didn't think of first but I could have if I had.

12/17

Martha Stewart had some reindeer on her show and I lernt stuff about them. Here's two reindeer facts: Reindeer are the only animals where both the male and female have antlers. Also reindeer fur have like hollow hairs to help with insulation. The guest on the show said when they make clothes of reindeer skin- the clothes are really warm. As soon as he said that the reindeer shot a look at the camera like, "Whatchoo talkin bout, Willis?"

Here's some info on Blitzen.

12/16

There was a camel as a guest on The View today. This chick brought it out because she was showing stuff that were like charity gifts for the holidays. If you want to support a family in India or Mongolia, World Vision charity says they'll give a camel to a needy families if you give them $350.  I thought that was a pretty good price for a whole friggin camel.  

Here's some info on Camels if you wanna research your purchase.

12/15

Sorry no fact today. I had to boycott TV based on principle.

12/14

I learned on America's Most Wanted that Jesse James Hollywood may be wandering the streets of Western Canada. He enjoys trick funny cars and Subway sandwiches. If you see him around run away and make a phone call.

Here's the dilly on this guy.

12/13

I watched a show bout bowling today. The biggest name in the sport right now is Pete Weber aka P-D-W! He's son of bowling legend Dick Weber. Pete developed a bowling style different than his dad's with a more aggressive approach to throwing the ball. P-D-W sometimes gestures at his crotch with a chopping motion after bowling a strike.  They call that move 'the crotch chop'.

Here's a bowling game so you can 'crotch chop' in the privacy of your own home just like the pros...

12/12

I saw on TechTV that 'Slime' has evolved to a whole kit and you can conduct electricity with it or something. When I left off with slime they just came out with 'Slime with Worms'.  There was this kid in camp who used to fill up his mouth with slime with worms and pretend to throw it up. He was excellent. I couldn't believe he put that stuff in his mouth.

Here's the new fancy schmancy slime kit.

12/11

I watched the Berman & Berman show today. I learned that lavender is a calming and soothing scent for chicks. So I guess if you're in a fight with your girl you should just bust out some lavender and spray it at her or something. Not sure if I got the point of the show...

Here's the story of lavender.

12/10

I saw a thing about The Oregon Vortex. It's this area of land in Oregon that defies the laws of physics. Everything is crooked. Balls will roll up hill and stuff. Horses won't step foot on the land. This scientist named Lister did 14,000 experiments on it but never shared his findings. He burned his notes because he didn't think people were ready to hear why the vortex area is so crazy. Or maybe he was just plain crazy... or maybe it made him crazy...

Anyway here's some info.

12/9

I vegged out today watching the Freeride Moto-X Championship on ESPN2 today. These dudes were flying on their motocross bikes. I learnt some new moves like the One-Handed Heart Attack, the Dead Body, and the Rock Solid. These guys fly around with their motorbikes all mental.

 This is what Mike Metzger does for a living. I can't do that. I wiped out on a moped once...

12/8

Sorry I forgot a fact from the tv today. But here's a link to help you not forget people's names...

12/7

I found out today that when black bears feed on salmon and the fishing is easy they'll just rip the heads off the salmon and just eat the salmon brains. The most protein is in the brain and bears like their protein. This fact actually gave me a little more respect for zombies. I thought they were all brain hungry because they were just crazy zombies- perhaps they're just trying to be healthy... and stuff. 

They're apparently getting lazy though...

12/6 

I was watching this show today about how the cheetah population in Africa is all endangered because cheetahs go and like eat livestock and then the farmers go and shoot the cheetahs. For years this went on. There was a pretty simple solution though. Donkeys. The farmers now keep donkeys on their farms and donkeys will confront and scare off cheetahs. Cheetahs are wimpy and run away from donkeys. Who would have thunk it?.

Hey! Wanna play some Donkey Kong Junior? Press 3 to insert coin.

12/5

Right now the ashes of Gene Roddenberry and Timothy Leary are orbiting the planet. This company Celestis do these like spaceshot memorial capsule float around satellite type thing.  Weirdness.

Check out the view...

12/4

I found out today that Aardvarks have 'rootless teeth'. They just keep growing and growing throughout their lifetime. This might be why you don't see alot of aardvark orthodontists! 

AARDVARK ORTHODONTISTS!!! LOL!!!

.... lol?... no lol? ok fine be that way.

I looked for a recipe for aardvark to see if people eat em. But apparently ain't no one eat no aardvark. Aardvark meat must really suck cause people will eat all this -but won't eat no aardvark.

12/3

The Hawaiian Goddess of the Volcanos is named Pele. She likes gin. She likes flowers and people worshipping her. She might look like a beautiful young girl one second then an ancient old woman the next. She's moody. She likes to hitchhike. She has her ups and downs. She can control lava. She often takes the form of a white dog. She might warn you of future danger or she might seek vengeance on your ass. She's mysterious...

Oh she also has her own line of hot sauce and stuff.

12/2

This German dude named Otto Lilienthal invented the glider. Otto spent alot of times jumping off steep hills and gliding around. Otto became like a global aviation superstar back in the late 1800's and probably got lots of chicks. The main drawback of his gliders was that Otto had no control over the flights. This issue proved to be a serious problem for Otto cause one day he like crashed down and broke his back and ended up all dead and stuff.

Here's some info on Otto and his gliders.

12/1

I done watched a segment bout Cracker Jacks today. I found out the sailor's name is Sailor Jack and the dog is Bingo. In the early 1900's they started throwing prizes in every box. Back then I bet kids got cool stuff like magnifying glasses and stuff. I got some cracker jacks at a Ranger Game recently and in the box was a frickin cheapo mini tiny baseball card. At least give me a spit tattoo or a sticker sumthin. Dags.

These peeps love their cracker jacks tho..

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