January 17 2011
I ranted a little about this once before but the problem is so ongoing so I can’t help myself.
I have a problem with receipts. The other day I was in the stoner pet store and I bought like a couple cans of dog food. Along with a handful of change I get handed a receipt. The receipt barely says anything– except that I spent $4.86 cents ‘somewhere’. Thanks? And last night I was in the yogurt store and they stuffed a ‘dollar sized’ receipt in my hand for my two yogurt purchase.
Hey! It should always be an option! Not a requirement! I am buying from YOU therefore it is MY responsibility to be responsible for MYself and MY own purchases! You’re not my Mom, store! You don’t need to remind me to be responsible and organized by handing me a receipt! “Make sure to save it for your records! The taxman might come one day!‘ If I’m at a point where I’m rummaging around in some desk drawer for a stupid pet store receipt to save my ass on my taxes— it’s pretty safe to assume that I’m pretty pre-frucked there.
It’s none of your business how I handle my finances, store! I need a receipt for yogurt? Or dog food? Maybe some people do for whatever reason. But for the 1% of OCD people who are so hyper organized that they keep receipts for every purchase ever– we all have to suffer with these little pieces of paper??
Or is it that the register always spits out a receipt– so the store guy has a choice– throw it out– or give it to you? In their defense, after a full day’s purchases they could have a garbage can full or receipts. Right? Better for them to get rid of em. They’d probably get all over the floor or whatever too. Well, guess what, store!! That’s your fruckin paper problem! Ask me if I want it!!! 9 out of 10 times people will say no! Especially if you’re a pet store or friggin stupid yogurt shop!
Sometimes I give it right back to them. I’ll hand it back and say I don’t need this. Feeling weirdly disorganizationally snobbish. But I feel like a bit of a prick for doing the hand back. Like I’m asking them to throw out my garbage for me. But ay! It’s not my garbage! It’s your garbage, clerky! You dropped it in my hand instead of your friggin garbage can! 3-second rule!
The other day in the pet store I considered actually saying something to the guy. Just be like, ‘Look, Mr.-Pet-Store-Stoner-Guy-Who-Probably-Also-Deals-Weed-Right-Out-of-the-Store’, we gotta talk. Most likely 98% of your customers get slightly annoyed every time you hand them a receipt. I think everyone would be happier if you stopped with this policy.’ OR, ‘Listen, Mr.-Yogurt-Shop-Guy-Who-Probably-Dips-His-Balls-In-The-Chocolate-Sauce-After-Hours,’ most people who come into this store simply want a cup of yogurt. And that’s that. There’s no reason to hand over a paper souvenir reminder of the experience.
The problem is I feel like once you start complaining to store clerks about stuff in their store. Or their policies. Especially things as small as this. You start to tip toe dangerously into becoming grouchy old neighborhood man. And somehow I’d rather be the guy with a drawer full of useless receipts… than be that man. But man! Enough!
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.