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FEBRUARY 2006
2/28
Ok maybe I can't necessary brag about Katharine McPhee on American Idol because she was a little boring this week or whatever. I still stand by the fact that she is the next American Idol and next week she will bring it. I'm ready for that Brenna chick to go. For all y'all who hate American Idol and don't like the fact that I blab about it too much. My apologies. Tomorrow I'll find a good fact instead of talking about some random chick on tv.
Here's Constantine's journal.
2/27
Why the Winter Olympics Sucked from A-Z
a. Not enough pre-hype. All of a sudden the Olympics
'arrived'. There was not enough build up to get all patriotic.
b. No rivalry established. America had nobody to beat or nobody to lose to. If
it doesn't exist... make it up.
c. Bode Miller wasn't compelling and was written off as a cock-- instead of
supported and cheered for till the end.
d. Sasha Cohen stuck the landing on her ass twice but still won a silver.
e. Too much bobsled.
f. Snowboarding still treated like bastard child.
g. Ice dancing (the most fun to watch) still made the whole thing seem like
joke.
h. Back stories weren't interesting or spotlighted or built up properly.
i. Curling never explained.
j. Medals looked like bagels.
k. It all seemed stalled in tradition and routine.
l. Nobody seemed interested in hockey.
m. Crashing or falling down over emphasized.
n. Bob Costas seemed bored.
o. The whole thing wasn't sexy enough.
p. No E! type coverage on the party going on behind the scenes.
q. No feeling of bonding as a team anywhere in the world.
r. NBC acted like the responsibility of ratings was up to us.
s. Americans didn't feel like rockstars of the world.
t. No Jamaican bobsled team type heart warming goofballness.
u. Intrigue of a security threat was downplayed.
v. Ice skating new scoring system made it boring.
w. Commercials were all olympick gimmick ham handedly stupid.
x. No local flavor. Was it Turin or Turino anyway?
y. Austrian doping scandal too buried.
z. Open ceremonies were overblown. Closing ceremonies were underblown.
I realize that doing the letters should have made me relate each category to the letter. Like M should have been 'Medals looked like bagels' or whatever but that would have taken work and stuff. Hopefully Canada will do it right in 2010. (2010? I can't believe that's going to be 4 years from now. 2010? Isn't that the future?)
2/26
Tonite TV told me that fruit people are getting nutty with wanting to get people to eat more fruit. Apparently people are too lazy to eat fruit now with the hassle of peeling of oranges and annoyance biting into apples. So now fresh fruit is gonna come pre-sliced with some sort of sealant coating that they claim is tasteless and natural or something. Gross! I'm totally against it! Cool! I'll totally buy it!
Here they go! Slicey chompy!
2/24
So tonite I found out that company that's all busy building spacecrafts for regular people to travel in space is like totally out of ideas or whatever because they put out a call for anyone who has a spaceship design to send in their ideas. They said you don't even need to have an aerospace background as long as you're a "creative thinker". So I'm sending in my own spaceship design and we'll see what happens. I just worked like a million hours on it!
See with your eyes! Here it is!
2/23
Today CNN told me why the Sunnis and Shiites originally started fighting in Iraq. (To be honest, I never really understood the difference) so here's what I got. This is probably a pretty basic thing but...ok:
The Sunni's and Shiites started disagreeing about who should be their leader. Sunni's are like, 'Hey! If the dude is totally in line with Islamic Law and we all like him and he's one of us. He can be the leader totally!' And the Shiites are like, 'Dudes! Don't you get it? The whole point is the leader has to be a direct descendent of the Prophet Mohammed! (aka an Imam) If it's not a direct descendent then he's obviously not the dude, dudes!' It's something like that I think.
Here's some peace quotes for ya.
2/22
Tonite TV told me that the internet might soon be screwed. Apparently all the big communication companies are like banding together to get control over the whole skizzle. Basically they want to set up different plans from basic to premium. Basic plans might just give you a certain amount of emails and bandwidth and website access. And premium plans go up and up depending on how much usage you use or want. They also want to collect our information and sell it like dicks. Basically this might be the golden age of net freedom right now. Or not. But probably. Maybe. Or probably maybe not.
Here's smore info about what's coming....
2/21
So I found out that euro-nerds have been busy strapping cameras onto seals head to keep track of what they do and what they see or whatever. So when the seal dives down they get to spy on em or whatever. Not sure why. Not really that interesting of a fact but the picture I found online made me think about 'sharks with freakin laserbeams strapped to their heads.'
Yeah that guy doesn't look too thrilled with the experiment. But the good news is there's a good elephant seal poem if you scroll down here.
2/20
Tonite I found out something new to worry about so I figure why not share. It's called a 'super volcano' and we got one sitting right under Yellowstone Park. Basically it's a supersized volcano and it's the most destructive force on the planet. When it goes off (and apparently it's overdue) the explosion will be like 10,000 times the size of Mount St. Helens and after it explodes it will kill millions and spew ash into the atmosphere and block out the sun giving us a nuclear winter. Chalk it up as world destruction worry #384. Yawn.
Umm.... yeah.
2/18
So tonite I watched alot of the olympics. And it was the first time I took a good look at the 'new' medals with the donut hole in them. I felt bad for the atheletes a little because they just don't look like the medals their heros had when they were growing up. Maybe they're cooler. I dunno. But to me they look like friggin AOL disc bagel slice sumo diapered 45's!
2/17
Today tv said that some jungle nerds found out that tiger doody actually works as a great repellant for warding off annoying animals or whatever. Basically if you scoop it up and spread it around your place, annoying animals that want to mess with your stuff smell the poo and think, 'F that place! They got some tiger there and he's shitting all over the place...' Or something. I can't imagine what animals think of us. All walking around behind them and picking up their doody and carting it off somewhere for secret projects. They must think we're nuts.
I dunno...if you're selling a Tiger airplane for $52,000 umm.. maybe you want to put up a photo or something, no? And maybe expand a little on 'very nice airplane'.
2/16
Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I did see that Gary Busey and Billy Zane are starring in some Turkish movie called Wolves in the Valley that makes Americans look like evil dicks. It's the biggest movie in Turkey history or something. I guess those dudes totally sold out their country for a fat paycheck. An unfortunate trend. Ug! Whatever! Cheerful fact later today!
Here's the trailer to the bashy film. (loads reallllly slow and stupid)
2/15
Ok I've decided I know who the next American Idol is now. (Last year I picked that dude Mario Vasquez with the hat who dropped out and he totally screwed over my prediction). But this year I definitely got it right! Ready? This year's American Idol is...
Katherine McPhee!
Yep! I will be giving weekly updates bragging annoying about how I right I am. And at the end of the season I'm gonna win myself an awesome prize!
Here's a new song clip from Mario Vasquez. You heard it here first! American Idol scoop! Scoop!
2/14
Yesterday I found out some good news about the bald eagle. I guess for a while people were shooting them in the face or making eagle omelets out of their eggs because eagles been on the endangered list for a long time. But now they're being taken off the list because they've been banging alot and making little eagles without being disrupted by getting shot in the face and stuff... which is a turnoff for most species.
Good thing that they didn't get all extincted up because then we'd have to get a new country mascot. Like this guy or something...
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Hey! If you're bored today photoshop up an animal all
patriotic and
send it in! Maybe you'll win something!
No more please
Vote now! http://www.oddtodd.com/patriotic.html
2/13
So some show showed me someone putting on a show showing off something that seemed super pseudo showbizzy for sure (say that 10x fast) It was called the 'Virtual Air Guitar' (sort of redundant I guess) and it takes air guitar to the next level. It's like you put on these gizmo gloves and stand in front of a screen and do guitar moves. Like if you do like a big strum it'll go STRUMMM! or if you do like little needley high notes like Yngwie it'll go deedley deedley deedley deedley... (hold that note and wiggle it) deeeeee! Looks fantastically annoyingly stupido coolio! Rock on!
What's Yngwie up to anyway these days?
2/12
60 Minutes told me about a bunch of scumbags that ripped off our government for like $100 million by claiming they were doing work in Iraq and then totally didn't. Like they claimed they would provide bomb sniffing dogs but according to the army they only showed up with one guy and one dog. Neither had any training whatsoever. Apparently the dog was afraid of stuff. Anyway, all the money disappeared. Tax money we all worked hard for. And Congress isn't investigating because it would make the government look bad. Nice.
Here's the scummy anti-american conartist dickbag's website. I coulda taken one look at it and known it was a total scam. The webdesign has that stinky thrown-together scammy feel. (yeah, you might say it's wrong to pass judgment over a company based on a newsreport. you'd probably be right.) Here's some Halliburton stuff too.
2/10
So tv told me something about the government preparing for a mock 'cyberstorm'. Like some giant virus attack on the internet by kooks who want to do damage or shut it down or whatever. The initial government response was the President used a 'flight simulator' to virtually fly Air Force One over the internet and assess the situation. But he did nothing like a dope.
Finally three days later the government reacted, coming to the aid of millions of web users who were left stranded for days at some massive webserver nicknamed (The Dome) with access no email, instant messaging or myspace pages. A few days later an outraged Steve Jobs released a statement saying, 'George Bush doesn't care about blog people.'
The government reacted to Katrina as well as Elvis sung this song.
2/9
Yesterday I heard that the British are under attack! By crabs! These weird chinese crabs as big as dinner plates called Mitten crabs are like all clogging up their water ways. They eat like rare stuff like salmon eggs and burrow into the river walls weakening the whole structure of the river and stuff. Worst of all, they ain't good eatin'! Dude on tv compared it to when the american grey squirrel came over to the UK and ate and banged and bullied the red squirrel almost out of existence. USA! USA!
Here's a dude who's trying to save the red squirrel.
2/8
Tonite I was watching the Grammy's and they did the "In Memoriam" thing and I didn't recognize most of the people they honored so I flagged one of the names, "Long John" Baldry. I'd never heard of him so I decided to google him up or whatever. Apparently he died this year and he was all legendary and stuff. His website lives on (although they might want to take down the 'appearances' link at the bottom.)
Here he goes playing Stormy Monday totally.
2/7
So today I found out that the sheet business is way corrupt. The whole thread count thing is like pretty bogus. Like if sheets say they're like 400 thread count alot of the time its totally not. Scammy sheety people are like doing stuff like counting the threads within individual threads. Like if a single thread is made up of 4 threads on a micro level they count that one thread as four. If that makes sense.
All I know is I guess I need a new quilt cover and this just makes things more complicated. Look at this rag I sleep under. It's so comfy though.
The newslady said these guys run an honest business with their sheets so I figure I'd link em on up.
2/6
So tonite I saw a weird story about a radish. Apparently out in Japan some radish grew up out through concrete. People sort of flipped out because the radish was a little tough guy to grow through concrete. They named it 'Dokonjo daikon' which means fighting spirit or something. Everyone liked it. Then some total dickweed (so to speak) came by and like chopped the top off the radish for no reason. So now dudes are freaking out trying to save the life of the radish... and end the life of the guy who was such a wang to mess with it.
Here's a bunch of Japanese festivals. Note the Kanamara Penis Festival.
2/5
Ok this isn't a fact I learnt from the tv, it's actually a fact I didn't learn from watching tv but was curious about. When you watch football on the tv and they have that computerizized graphic yardage line or some kind of graphic on the field- and we see the players actually step on top of the line even though its computerizized-- i'd like to know how they do that. Because I figure the line would always be on top of them too, right? I realize it's done with computers but I wanna know exactly how. Ok. Does that make any sense?
First person to
write in with a proper detailed explanation
that seems most right to me will win a small box of stuff from my apartment!
Alot of responses came in with explanations as to how this magic works. I'll go thru and post the one that makes the most sense to me later today.
Congrats to Grippi who was the first to send in an winning explanation-type email!
Here tis:
From: "Grippi"
To:
[email protected]
Subject: computer line explanation!
Date: Sun, 5 Feb 2006 22:23:42 -0800
Basically it is like the "green screen technology" in tv on weather
reports n' stuff, I'm pretty sure it just transmits onto the green grass.
This website totally in depth explains the whole dealio with the first down line:
Skip down about half way to find the specific info you was lookin' for.
YOU WIN A SMALL BOX OF STUFF!
2/4
Today TV told me about the legality of noodling (going into a river and trying to catch catfish with your barehands). Apparently it's been illegal in like 13 states due to the noodlers "affecting the populations of the catfish" (aka scaring away tourists). But the noodlers fought the law for their right to reach into river holes with their barehands and wrestle giant catfish out of them. And they won! Now there's a open noodle season down in Missouri in a few rivers. Whatever floats your boat I guess...
Here's some noodlers noodling around.
2/3
Tonite tv told me that the japanese have no swear words in their language. I thought that was a little weird because I figure they must have had a couple from back in the day. Like what did a samurai guy yell when he got a hand chopped off by the other samurai guy? Or what did the sushi chef yell when he saw the other sushi chef guy poke out his own eyeball with a fork and flick it across the room into that girl's soup? Holy what!(?) But have no fear, TV said Japan has now imported the F word... just to have one on hand.
My japanese name is 浜野 Hamano (seaside field) 三千代 Michiyo (three thousand generations).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
2/1
Finally today I got some good news about robots. Every friggin story is about how we're learning robots to do things. Teaching them how to eventually take over the world in a friendly secret way. Well score one for the humans! Because Sony is scrapping their stupid robot dog Aibo. Apparently Aibo was too stupid to really generate real sales so they're throwing it right in the garbage. One robot down! 100,000,000 to go... eventually.
Hack yer Aibo if you want! They're doomed! AHahahahahaha stupid robots...
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