DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV
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FEBRUARY 2008

2/28

Attention tattoo people! Today I found out there's a new place you can get some ink! Your umm... eyeball. Local news dope told me today that it's like a new invention and some dude turned his whole eyeball blue or something. Yah needle right into eyeball action. It's sort of experimental so he might go all blind or it might soak down his optic nerve and smurf up his brain or something. We'll have to wait and see. On my 'bucket list'... I'd say this comes in at number 12,038,523... maybe...

Here's a link to an article and a photo...

2/27

Apologies for no daily fact here. Yeah I know my Idol chick sort of fumbled last night but she's gonna be fine! Excellent daily factoid later today!

Here's a Twilight Zone episode for ya if yer bored :-)

2/26

So last night I was watching Idol and I was looking at the dude with the dredlocks sing his whatever song and I was trying to place the face. Cause he reminded me of something or someone and I couldn't put my finger on it. Then finally I did.

He looks like a Second Life avatar...

By the way, if you're into Second Life visit this store and buy some jewelry. A friend of mine runs it...

2/25

Today I found out that scientists have figured out when the world is going to end. Nerd number crunchers say that we have about a billion years left before the sun expands to the point where it'll like boil all the oceans and make everyone on earth burst into flames and become lava people or something and then the whole thing will end up as a big fireball that a giant spacemonster will put into his (or her) slingshot and then it'll shoot the flaming ball of earth into a black hole. Coolio!

But there is hope! We just need how to change the earth's orbit! No biggie!

2/24

So tonight I watched some of the TV Guide channel doing like red carpet stuff with what's her face with the lips and what's his face with the beard. I sort of like TV Guide channel because somehow just refuses to actually be a regular channel. It still runs like the program guide like anybody in the world actually tunes into TV Guide channel to see what's on TV at this point. Why do I get the feeling that the big boss at TV Guide is like 100 years old and he shakes his finger at the end of every board meeting and says , 'Do what you want with the channel... but you gotta keep the cornerstone... I need to know when my shows are on...'

Want an HBO flashback?

2/23

BLAH LAST NIGHT I WATCHED AN HOUR LONG SHOW ABOUT PARASITES! TERRIBLE CALL! AND THIS DUDE HAD A LITTLE WORM SQUIGGLE ACROSS HIS EYEBALL! I DON'T LIKE IT! I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!! AND I FOUND ONE ON YOUTUBE! DON'T WATCH THIS EITHER! I DON'T LIKE IT!

2/22

Today I've been seeing newsjerks brag about how cool we are for shooting down a spy satellite with a missile. Well guess what? I ain't buying it. This is a blatant "test" of a long range missile for a preemptive strikes on foreign satellites to knock out their communications... if need be. I mean really? All of a sudden this thing is gonna crash down to Earth? And release toxic gas or something? Lie! And by the way, if the satellite was all broken. How bout sending the the Space Shuttle to fix it? Make some use out of that jalopy! As far as I can tell that thing launches and spends all it's time in orbit fixing the damage it got from lift-off-- before heading home with their astrofingers and toes crossed.

And if you think I'm bitter about space. I am! I was told as a kid we'd be daytripping to Mars by now!

Oh... upon googling... I see I'm not alone here.

2/21

So my American Idol girl worked it out last night! I know you're thinking she can't pull it off... but when she busts out 'Alone' by Heart you're all gonna be in tears and texting your vote for umm... what's her face... let me scroll for a reminder....Amanda Overmyer! And I was glad that chick with the tattoo sleeve got the smackdown from Simon! With her terrible mic technique like she's The Duchess of Karaoke! Her ringer ass needed to be knocked down a notch! Booyah! Go Amanda!

Here's why she's a ringer... with her video.

And here's the Heart video.... I now call it 'Amanda's Song'

2/200

This morning I found out that Americans are outsourcing something new to India. Surrogate Moms. People are paying like 30k to some company to plug a fertilized egg into Indian women. Then they ship the baby home. It's apparently alot less expensive than American women for the same thing. Which can be close to double. So what's in it dollarwise for the surrogate mom over in India? Around 4k...

Here's a surrogate mom bloggerino...

2/19

So last night I got home and read all about how they recalled all that meat because dudes were mean to cows and stuff. I gotta say (and I know I've been threatening this for years and I know how it sounds) but I think I'm done with red meat forever and for real. I've been done with veal and lamb for a while (and pork for about 6 months). I dunno-- if there was a cow in my yard, I'd definitely be friends with it. And if someone started stabbing it I'd think they were psycho. (However, if there was a chicken or a fish in my yard-- we probably wouldn't be close friends.)

Plus I don't trust the government nor the beef industry with this cloning crap.

Just listen to Natural Nurse!

2/16

Today I found out that our 'close friends' in Saudi Arabia decided to ban all things red because Valentine's Day is a terrible day and they don't want people celebrating it or something. What century is it again? Oh by the way, I heard the other day that the government in Saudi Arabia is also getting geared up to lop some woman's head off because she was 'practicing witchcraft'.

Maybe they'll use this sword for the beheading?

2/15

So the other morning some yenta was talking sex on tv and she gave a few tips that might help dudes 'last longer' in bed. Yenta said that an exercise dudes can do is cut off their urining like midstream to like exercise their PP muscle or something. I dunno. Yenta also said that if a woman can't get over her paranoia about her body not being right that the dude should blindfold her. Also yenta said dudes should shower and brush their teeth before doing it -- oh also they should always take their socks off. Socks off? Wtf? My socks only look is no good?

I guess Lego Porn is a thing...

2/14

Today I found out that some dumb company is coming out with the first 'Submersible' car. Like a James Bond car that can go underwater and stuff. Which is great for people who.... ummm... commute to work from an island? with no bridge? and are rich tools? I dunno...

Here's the fancy schmancy never will go anywhere...sQuba! Described here as the first car that can 'fly' underwater...

My pick for the winner of American Idol Season 7 is....

Amanda Overmyer!

I know you're thinking noooo wayyy... I'm saying WAY! My second choice was Kristy Lee Cook.... but I found this... Suspect scoop!

2/13

Ok. I have a problem with picking Idol this year and not sure what to do. My DVR cut off the last minute or so when they show the Top 24 dancing or whatever. That is the section that I usually use to make my pick and was definitely counting on it this year because they were skimpy with information about some of the contestants due to the change in Hollywood Week. So I'm going to hold off for now. Hopefully that section will be up on youtube or whatever in the next day or so and I will officially make my pick. I have set the DVR to tape an extra half-hour for now on. I will post my American Idol psychic prediction by week's end!

And I'll be better than this psychic!

... if they were trying to put the fire out...?...

2/12

Sorry no fact yesterday. Was all busy watching Idol. But tune in here tonight and I will officially make my Annual American Idol prediction! So far I've been 100%!

Here's some Indian Idol...

2/11

So last night TV told me to be on the lookout because credit card companies are about to all turn into big a-holes. Basically they're getting financially punched in the face by the mortgage crisis so they're gonna pass along the losses to their credit card members by jacking interest rates across the board. All that fine print apparently says they can do whatever they want to your 'loan'. Including retroactively applying interest rate changes. Like all of a sudden they can make your interest rate 18% starting six months ago. Even if you make your payments on time every time. Cocks.

Wanna see the World's Worst Credit Card?

2/10

So today I found out that some ballsy thieves broke into some museum and stole Van Gogh and Monet paintings and some other stuff. I know it's pretty rude to break into a place and steal stuff... but I can't help respecting the coolness of being an art thief. Like wearing the black clothes and ducking under red beams and hearing Pink Panther music in your head. I kind of can't believe museums still can't get a lock that works...

Here's an art heist game...

2/9

Today some business show was talking about how the Microsoft bid to buy Yahoo isn't going through. Apparently the discussions broke down when neither side could actually define what they actually are.

When asked what they actually are Yahoo said, 'Yknow we're like a search thing with like financial stuff video and you know all that community with the yknow entertainment search people thing internet stuff with the Yahhoooo....' And when Yahoo asked Microsoft what they are Microsoft said, 'Us? We're like software windows yknow vista sorta programs with like XBox Zune shit sorta mixed up in there with the web email video kinda trying stuff out or whatever...' Discussions broke down from there...

Apparently XBoxes have this Red Ring of Death problem...

2/8

OVERALL TV UPDATE!!!

Ok. Here's where I'm at with television. My #1 show is American Idol. #2 is Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. And I've been looking around for a number 3 show. Some people have said it should be Mad Men. Some say it's gotta be The Wire. But I've decided to do something I've never done before to fill the #3 slot. I'm going in on Lost from day one. Too many people have proclaimed this show to be mega-awesome so I'm gonna start in DVD style and start plowing through. That's where I'm at TV wise right now...

Here's something terrible.

2/7

Last night I saw an informercial for a new work-out thing called Motionless Exercise. They shaped up the commercial to be a big secret. Like there's some way to workout without moving but you have to buy the whole package thingee to find out how it works. No running, jumping, or impact! Was sort of sad to think about people lying on their couch and spending $59.95 to lie on their couch smore but.... working out. Here's some chick giving away the secret.

Now THIS... This is a workout!

2/6

Today the news dork told me that GM is busy building 'robot cars' and claim that robot cars will be on the road within 10 years. I find that pretty hard to friggin believe. And when a spokesperson for GM was questioned about the robot cars driving around in public within 10 years he said, 'Well, yeah. We said within 10 years. But we didn't say within 10 years from when.... I'm thinking they'll be good to go within ten years 50 years from now...'

Poor KITT... look at where he's at these days...

2/5

Today I found out that scientists have discovered a new way to treat viruses and stuff. They can just shake them to death or something using super frequencies and stuff. Like how they can blast wine glasses with sound waves whatever. I just want to go on record that I think I had this idea like back in 1990. I'm pretty sure I was sitting there thinking about things and this idea floated into my head and then abruptly left as I had no idea about anything. But it is still vaguely familiar somehow...

Even doctors are stealing my ideas that I never had nor talked about! Anyway, here's some slow-mo action...

2/1

So I found out that some dopey company is planning to beam the Beatles song Across the Universe.... ummm... across the universe. For reasons unknown they're beaming the song to toward the North Star in the hopes of... I dunno.... having the first hit record in space? For the North Starnese? Watch them download it out of the air illegally for their zPods...

 

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