FEBRUARY 2002

2/28

The TV told me about the Blizzard of 1888. It was like this superbig hurricaine blizzard that hit the east coast and messed New York up bad. Drifts were like 40 feet tall. Birds fell out of the sky all frozen and bonked people on the head. They decided to build the subway after this blizzard. Meanwhile we haven't gotten one decent snowfall this year and I feel jipped.

*my mom let me know that i had two spelling mistakes in this fact. both 'hurricane' and 'gypped' spelled wrong above...

2/27

So I met this chick Jackie today and she told me that she saw some potato recipes on Good Day New York and thought how a potato recipe would be a good fact of the day. So I decided to make an exception this one time and put something up that I hadn't actually seen first hand. Jackie couldn't remember the recipes exactly- but I found this potato recipe that looked good.

2/26

I found out that during Salem Witch Trials 19 people were killed cause they were convicted of being witches or witch/related somehow. Only one person was burned at the stake. The rest were simply hanged. My theory is crazy stuff like this happened because there was no TV then and people got bored with stuff. Or some dude got mad at his wife for cheating on him and somehow it just kind of steamrolled...

Here's some info if you want a career change over to the dark arts.

*some people told me no one was burned at all but some dude got mushed by rocks. someone else told me that they all went nuts cause they were tripping on acid all the time. bad trips all around.

2/25

I saw on Totally NASCAR that there is this new 'one-engine rule'. Basically in the past you could use different engines for practice and qualifying rounds and a new one for the real race. Now only one engine allowed. It's caused the pit crews to rethink general strategy but one thing is agreed on... it definitely cuts costs.

Here's some cool pit crew wallpaper for your computer desktop.

2/24

21%  of dog owners say their dog snores and 7% of cat owners say their cat snores. The tv said that if your cat or dog sleeps in the bed with you and snores there is a good chance it may be disturbing your sleep. If this is the case you might want to consider making your pet sleep somewhere else. 

D'ya ever wonder what dogs really dream about?

2/23

I watched this guy Nigel mess around with snakes. I found out Burmese Pythons can grow to like 27 feet. When the pythons are gonna 'do it' the chick snake lets off this chemical that gets the guy snake all psyched up. And he has these like foreplay things the pop out called 'spurs'. Then when the eggs hatch the baby snakes eat mice right off the bat.

Want one? Albino Style.

2/22

So I watched the olympic chicks skate around last night. I noticed that the tv people don't show instant replays anymore right after a performance finishes. Which sucks cause you wanna see them fall in slo-mo. So that sucked. But I found out that it's fun to make blasty fart noises while they skate.. like when they jump up or do the camel or whatever..

Here's a 1999 article about the gold medal chick..

2/21 

I watched The Screensavers on TechTV today and I learned that if you put slices of american cheese still wrapped in plastic on the bbq grill the cheese melts but the plastic doesn't. It like just puffs up. The Screensavers people told me never to go to this site which is all about that cheese/plastic thing and they like race and stuff..

2/20

That 80's Show. It sucks. That's a fact. It started off at some party. They played 99 Luft Balloons. Then they made a bad joke. Then I heard canned laughter (even that sounded forced). Then some guy in silver pants dropped dead on the dancefloor which was fine cause he was annoying. Then they rolled the opening credits. Then I flipped channels. 

*someone wrote me and said i should judge a whole series on 5 minutes of one show. i agree with that. i was grumpy yesterday.

2/19

I watched Emergency Vets on Animal Planet and this West Highland terrier got bit by a rattlesnake and was totally messed up but the emergency vets fixed him up and he is fine... except for the fact that after the dog got home he tried to attack a garter snake. It seems West Highland terriers either hold grudges or ain't that smart.

Here's a personal story about being bit by a snake apparently written by a dog.

2/18

Tribbles are born pregnant and can produce once every 12 hours. They do like humans and vulcans but don't like klingons. If you are having a problem with Tribbles all you have to do is stop feeding them.

2/17

Sorry nothing today. I went out boozing last night and went to sleep at like 6AM and then like slept all day. I did watch some TV when I woke up but couldn't retain anything.

2/16

Along the Great Wall of China there is this fortress called the Jiayuguan Fortress. The architect who designed it ordered up a specific number bricks to get the fortress built. Some builder dudes told him that they didn't think he was ordering enough bricks and doubted him. So he added a single brick to the order. After the fort was completed, they used every brick except one. He put on display back in the day and it still sits there today. Chinese architect dude basically said like F U totally..

The Great Wall of China is real big no doubt- but is it the only manmade object visible from space?

2/15

I found out today that ants don't like cinnamon and they don't like catnip. If you have a problem with ants like coming into your house to hang out, you can sprinkle cinnamon or catnip where they're coming in.

If you don't believe me you can buy some ants here and test it out.

2/14

Figure skating is like auto racing. 

* I got some email about this cause it didn't really seem to be a 'fact'. I just felt like I am always secretly shamefully waiting for something to go wrong when I watch these 'sports'. I guess I should have clarified it as a 'viewer' of the sports not the actual sport thing. Although it would be interesting to switch em up and make the race car guys skate and the skaters drive nascar.

2/13

I watched The Other Half this morning which is a talk show with Dick Clark, Danny Partridge, and Mario from Saved By The Bell.  This radio guy Tom Leykis was a guest on the show and he told me that it is impossible for women and men to be 'friends'. And he said that guys should spend no time and no money on dates. And he said that his goal is to help men 'get tail'.

2/12

Our Women's Curling team made a dramatic comeback today to beat Japan in the opening round 8-7! I couldn't figure out the rules to the sport of Curling but it involves ice, a big silver thing, brooms, and yelling. Congrats to Kari Erickson and the rest of the US Women's Curling Team!

2/11

This 'Human Cannonball' down in Florida blasted 25 feet past the net and smashed down on the ground then into a fence. I would assume 'missing the net' is an occupational hazard for Human Cannonballs but the dude in charge of the 'measuring' or whatever will probably be joining Laid-Off Land today.

Here's a terrifying computer simulation of the accident. *************UPDATE

2/10

I watched the news tonite and they told me it was raining. This was not 'news' to me as I can look out the window and see for myself. The weather guy also told me about the low pressure fronts, humidity percentages, visibility, and the barometer. It's like..  I'm real glad you do your job and all... but just tell me if it's gonna rain tomorrow or not. That's all I really need to know.

2/9

I watched the ultra-boring cheese covered Olympic opening ceremony last night. I noticed something about the flag holder people when they walk in. They wear like this belt to help them hold their flag and they put the end of the flagpole in this like holster. I noticed that the men have the holster part in directly in front of their crotch but the women wear the flags more side saddle.

2/8

I watched this documentary 'King Gimp' today. It was about this amazing painter guy who has cerebral palsy. He has real trouble speaking, gets around in a wheelchair and usually can't even keep his head still at all . He can't hold a brush with his hands so to paint he wears this headgear with a brush sticking off of it.  The documentary made me feel like I can't complain about anything ever again- but I'm sure I'll figure out a way to overcome that in no time..

Here's some of King Gimp's paintings.

2/7

Sea Scorpions are fish that look like rocks. Otters like to eat Sea Scorpions. Sea Scorpions don't like  being eaten by otters. Sea Scorpions have like sharp spiny things on them. Otters can bite off the spiny things. The spiny things on the Sea Scorpions only work up to a certain point... so to speak.

This guy has some issues... with otters.

2/6

I watched 'The Chair' with my friend Shauna last night. John McEnroe was actually a good funny host in a really off way. He only says three words at a time. And the show was kinda cool and addicting for some reason. For my guest I served Pringles, Cap'n Crunch out of the box, and seaweed crackers which she said were gross but I like them.

Here's a cool site about seaweed made by someone who looks like they smoke weed.

2/5 

These twin dwarfs on the TV infomercial tried to sell me something called the 'Cash Flow Generator'. The dwarfs told me I need no money, no credit, and no experience in real estate to make a ton of money in real estate. Here's a link so you can see the twins but I am NOT endorsing the product. 

Only look. Do not buy. Here ya go.

2/4 

On Mysteries and Scandals today they talked about this dude Jeffrey Hunter who was like a moviestar in the 50's. He was like a big star. Then he played Jesus in a movie. Then he got divorced. Then got remarried and got all whipped. Then he did the pilot for Star Trek but his wife made him turn down the role that Shatner eventually did. Then he did alot of bad movies. Then he fell on his head and died. The End.

2/3

I'm typing this as it's 14-3 Patriots. I flipped to nbc and saw some girl on Fear Factor drink/eat a 'Fear Factor' martini. The martini was made up of like earthworms and other kinds of worms. She would pour them in her mouth and try to chew then gag and spit them out then pour them back in her mouth again. It was horrible. Go Pats!

2/2

In 1884, France gave us the Statue of Liberty as a gift which was really cool. At the same time this smart french dude Monsieur Gaget made up little Statue of Liberty souvenirs to sell. His name actually became the word 'gadget' we use today for little electronic things or Inspector Gadget or whatever. By the way, for all America does.. why don't we get like cool big gifts anymore from anyone?

2/1

The TV told me that if you're going to paint stuff you should buy brushes with frayed bristles cause they hold more paint then the straight across bristles. Or if you have like old dried-up paint brushes just get a bucket and put water in it with some laundry detergent and dunk the brushes- it will make em like new again. I bought paint and rollers and brushes two years ago to paint my apartment and still plan to one day.

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