February 2003



Today while eating french pizza with pepperoni I watched an 'Aerobic Conditioning' show. I learned how I can work out my glutes. The head aerobic chick said that men have an easier time eating lots of stuff without gaining weight because we have more muscle mass.  It kind of made me feel a little better about sitting there eating french bread pizza. 

Here are two links to reshape your glutes... depending on which way you wanna go. here and here.


Today I watched the AKC Master National Retriever Hunt on channel 122. These labs would like run off and find dead ducks that were strewn about and bring them back to their owner and drop the duck at their feet and just sit there waiting to go again. Good dog. When I was a little kid, one morning I went downstairs and my dog was busy chewing up all the wires to my Atari. I looked at him like wtf!... and he looked back at me with a wire hanging out of his mouth like.. 'uhh... i didn't do it...?'

Maybe this would have helped us get a better understanding of each other...


I watched a show about survival stuff today. And they told me about these like self-heating meal in a bag things. You like yank a string and it releases water in the bag which causes a reaction with a magnesium wafer that produces heat and heats up your chicken parm or whatever. Thought it was kind of cool... but it scared me a little because science is scary.

 Here's a link if you're the ultimate lazy cook... or gonna hang out in a bunker sometime soon.


I found out today that nobody is really sure why wolves howl. It might be to gather the pack together for hunting or something.  The animal scientist guys who study wolves haven't been able to find out why they howl because every time they get close to wolves- the wolves start howling and the scientist guys all run away and hide in their truck. 

Anyone up for camping?


I learnt today on a show called I'm a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here! that Robin Leach is a Virgo and he says that that virgo sign "dictates perfection and organization". Being a Virgo I'm wondering when that's supposed to kick in for me... but then again I'm on the cusp.

Here's some love and compatibility info all horoscoped...


I found out today that there is a new way to always remember a loved one that passed away. You can take their ashes and get them made into a diamond. And wear the loved one around as jewelry. Something with the carbon in the ashes or something. Yeah, you can do it with a pet too. But somehow turning a loved one into bling bling doesn't strike me as the healthiest way to mourn. 

But in case you're nutty... here's the link... and shine on you crazy diamond...


Leafcutter ants in the rainforest spend all day just using their jaws to cut down leaves. 'So what?' You ask?... Well they aren't cutting down the leaves to eat them! They carry them to their nests to feed a fungus! And then they eat the fungus! So don't be so quick with your 'So what-ing?' There's sometimes more to the story! See? Oh! Stupid fact you say? Say this fact sucks!? That's it?! This means war!


I watched some of a show called Mister Sterling tonight (i mean really... "Mister Sterling"...uch...). It really was on in the background while I paid some bills. And they talked about 'magnetic levitation' which is like some sort of new high-speed rail travel thing. Sounds totally unsafe already.

Here's a little MagLev demo for ya.


Last night I couldn't sleep (because I drank a Pepsi Twist (not bad) around 7:00PM and I stupidly forgot that caffeine after 6PM will keep me up all night.) So I was like kind of out of it eating wheat thins and watching tv till like 4AM. When I woke up today I sort of half-remembered something about if you put an alligator on its back it will go like all limp and not move. Like frozen and limp like. But when I checked for this fact on the web I couldn't find anything about alligators on their back going limp. So basically I can't remember if I dreamed something about limp alligators or if this is actually a fact i got from the tv.

If you know this to be a real thing or if dreaming about limp alligators has some embarrassing interpretation please let me know...

*Update: This was not a dream. Something like they don't know which way is up and blood rushes to their head and they like pass out. Thanks to everyone who wrote in on this here. Here's a link too..


I watched something today about the Huichol Indians of Mexico who have rituals based around peyote. The legend goes that back in the day a blue deer, who was a god, left the peyote plant in its tracks as a blessing. It's still used today within the tribe as a vehicle by which they obtain their mystical union with the gods...

Here are pictures of peyote buttons -if you happen to be strolling thru the desert and want to take a left turn.


I watched Cribs today and I saw one of the guys from B2K is into remote control cars. But not the Radio Shack specials. You ain't no big dawg if you're remote control driving around the 5MPH Radio Shack dealios. Now some remote control (rc racing) cars can go like 90+ MPH! They cost like $700 or so. Who knew? Not me...

Practice up while you save up...


I watched a show about kamikazes today. They got their name cause they say that back in the day Kubla Khan was attacking Japan and the Japanese were about to lose- so all the shrines in Japan prayed for something bad to happen to the Kublas. And sure enough this big typhoon came and sunk a bunch of ships and killed alot of Kublas. Kamikaze translates to 'divine wind'.

Kamikazes didn't only pilot planes. They also drove around in torpedoes.


I seen on the CNN that the Navy is using sea lions in the Persian Gulf to patrol for enemy scuba guys and underwater threats and stuff. If the sea lion see something suspicious- they'll attach an alerty thing to a buoy to let people know that something is up. All of a sudden dolphins ain't lookin so friggin smart with their jumping through hoops and doing the 'stand up on their tail and go backwards' trick, eh... ?

Here's one of the coolio sea lions in training... 


I watched a show about snake charmers today. I always thought it was the music that got the cobras all stoned out. But it's really the swaying of the pipe and maybe some vibrations as the charmer plays. Snakes get all caught up in that. They're not about appreciating the music.  But whatever...

It's a weird way to make a living


The TV told me about the St. Valentines Day Massacre. These seven dudes got shot with tommy guns a whole lot and they ended very dead. One of the dead guys dog was tied up outside and he howled and howled after the shooting which alerted people that something bad had gone down. The dogs name was Highball. Dogs still howl and whine there when they pass by that address...

Apparently Chicago is all sorts of haunted


I seen on the tv that you can rent out the whole village of Il Borro, Italy. You can move into the big house on the hill and can do whatever you want or whatever. Like walk right into someone's house and eat stuff out of their fridge then stroll through town wearing nothing but a burger king crown and a sash that says 'Your King'. Although I get the feeling the people who rent Il Borro don't act the same way I would...

If yer interested and have alot of stupid cash. Here's info.


The tv done told me that the 'spoon lure' was invented by this fisherman JT Buel in Vermont. He was out fishing one day and knocked a spoon into the water. As he watched it sink down, some dumb fishie swam up and tried to eat it. JT said, 'Fishies like spoons!' So JT cut the handle off of a spoon and attached a hook to it and tried that. Fishie swam up and try to eat it.... And zang! Surprise fishie!

Here's the fishheads song. (which most fishies probably don't like)


I found out today that the weather affects your sex drive and that people have more sex on sunny days then on cloudy days. The lady on the show said sunlight pumps up the pituitary gland which makes people horny. This reaction might be a survival instinct because primitive people may have had more sex in the summer to have babies in the springtime... or maybe it's just because cavewomen looked hot in fur bikinis or something.

If you can just think it... guaranteed some dude somewhere has fantasized about it...


In the 16th century some areas of France were keeping themselves busy by doing a whole witch hunt thing but for werewolves. 30,000 people were accused of being werewolves. This might have occurred because their cold climate would make their rye bread produce 'ergot' which is like LSD- so everyone just went mental with the werewolf accusations. 

Like one day Jean-Paul and Pierre were hanging out eating ham sandwiches on rye and Jean-Paul was like, 'Pierre, what's with your goatee, dude?' And Pierre was like, 'Nothing man... what?' And Jean-Paul looked up at the full moon then looked all suspicious at Pierre out of the corner of his eye. Pierre laughed and went all 'Grrr... Grrr...' then laughed again and munched on his sandwich. But Jean-Paul didn't think it was funny and was like, 'Seriously dude, you grew that goatee in like the last five minutes!' And Pierre was like, 'Dude, chill... I've had this goatee for like 3 months..' Then Jean-Paul grabbed at Pierre's hands and was like, 'Dude, let me see your nails...' And Pierre pulled his hands away and was like, 'Dude I'm not showing you my frickin nails! You're freaking out, bro!' Then Jean-Paul got up and backed away crashing backwards into the cabinet making the plates crash down being like 'Stuh...stuh...stay away!' while making the sign of the cross with his fingers all shakey. Pierre came toward him like, "Dude you HAVE to chill!' ...

The story ends with Pierre tied to a stake about to get burned alive being all like, 'Bogus, dude! Total dickmove! Bogus!' And Jean-Paul watching in the crowd munching on another sandwich all with giant pupils and mumbling like, 'You're the one that's a werewolf dude. You're the one that's friggin bogus.....''


I found out from the tv today that women in the Navy are not allowed to serve aboard submarines. The biggest concern is that navy guys would be all distracted by the subma-chicks. Dudes would all busy thinking up 'sub in my pants' or 'going down' jokes instead of monitoring the zimmerzang sonar device or whatever... then the world gets all blown up by accident or something. 

Only one chi... I mean 'woman' has ever won the Congressional Medal of Honor... too bad the gov't revoked it 2 years before she died...


Sorry no daily fact today. I went out early then came back later and somewhere in between that was the time that I should have gotten the fact. 

If you were all upset cause no fact yesterday... here's a free candle. Relax.


I found out today that supermarkets are considering a new technology where like every time you place an item in your cart it recognizes it and keeps a running total. This will save alot of time on checkout lines because cashiers won't have to ring stuff up. You just pay and keep on going....I can sense hackers mouths watering already.

Here's this if you want a free 'Purina Cat Chow Celebrity Cat Calendar' (say that 5x fast).


The tv taught me about Guinness beer and how it was originally made as a mistake cause this brit dude burnt all his barley in a fire but was cheap and made the beer anyway and sold it to dockworkers and 'porters' and stuff. They also showed me how Guinness cans have a nitrogen widget at the bottom of the can to make Guinness all nice head pinty and stuff after you crack em open..

"Well, I drank about 24 beers a day for... jeez I don't know... 2 years or so... and then... as them french frogs say... Viola!"


I watched a show about the Leaning Tower of Pisa today. Back in the 12th century they built up a couple levels and it started leaning one way. So they built up the next level unevenly to try and straighten it out. Then it started leaning too far the other way. Then they said 'Uh oh, spaghettio! Mama mia! Itsa gonna falla ova!' ... and took a 100 year espresso break before resuming construction.

Here's what they're currently doing to stoppa the thing from falling over and smushing someone as flat as a pizza pie.


Hey! Today on Animal Planet I found out that Rhodesian Ridgeback dogs sometimes develop a condition called Dermoid Sinus. It's like an ingrown hair that grows down to the spine or something weird and gross like that. Luckily it's easy to check for and treat as long as the breeder checks for it in newborn pups. This isn't a great fact but I couldn't resist because I think Rhodesian Ridgebacks are cool dogs.

Not sure why I like them so much... oh wait...  maybe this is why...


So I learnt that back in the gold rush days these miners were digging in Nevada and they came across all this blue sludge that was a real pain in the ass for them. They worked out a bunch of different ways to dispose of it before someone finally found out the blue sludge was loaded with silver. Doh! The most famous for silver mine there is called the 'Comstock Lode' located in Virginia City Nevada.

Here's some info on one of the biggest loads on two feet in that day- Henry Comstock. And how Virginia City was named by a big drunk.


Happy Groundhogs Day! I seen on the tv that this couple Ed and Dianna Peden packed up their stuff and moved underground into a missile silo. They bought it off the government for $40,000 and just renovated it and now they live safely and comfortable underground. Their place seemed kind of nice although Ed seemed a little ummm... off beat... 

But hey! If you've always dreamed of living all underground like a... groundhog! Bid on some underground digs on eBay!


Sorry no fact today. Here's this though.


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