Friday's Writer

Musings of an Unoccupied Mind

by L. P. Winter

Several times in the past few weeks the subject of Depends undergarments has come up, or as they are more charmingly known, adult diapers.  The topic first came up in a conversation between a co-worker and myself.  Obviously we weren’t discussing business. Or maybe we were, I can’t remember.  It arose again a couple of weeks later in another conversation between several other co-workers, (I’m pretty certain that wasn’t business related either) which proved quite entertaining when one of them aptly demonstrated how one would walk if one were wearing a Depends and using it to its “fullest” potential.

Coincidentally, it came up again today when we were wishing a friend a happy 50th birthday, which led me to the conclusion that this may be on the minds of a larger segment of the population than originally suspected, and may be in fact becoming part of the overall zeitgeist of current day society.  

Which got me to thinking, as these things often do when I am bored, underworked, overworked, feeling particularly immature, or just generally feel like smooching the pooch.  They tell us the population is aging, but the Baby Boomers are unlike any previous generation in the way they are aging. i.e. living longer, healthier, more active lives. And if you are to believe the Depends commercials, not only out there dancing, but dancing and twirling around so vigorously, that the lady’s dress is flying up high enough to not only show off her not so bad old lady legs, but also her, we assume, Depends underwear.  (I can only reiterate my original reaction to that - eeeuuuwww.)  And, correct me if I am wrong, is not the unspoken message here that these whirling, twirling, energetic couples are also still – well – you know…

So here’s where all this is leading.  Is there a potential market for sexy "mature adult" undergarments?  Picture it.  See-through panties made out of Saran Wrap, or little lacy ones made out of the plastic "lace" they use to make those cheap tablecloths.  Or if you’re into black, those big old heavy duty garbage bags would make a darling pair of boy shorts.  Just cut off the two corners, turn it upside down, and stick your legs through. You could attach lengths of red plastic hazard tape and turn them into a garter belt.  Cinch it around the waist, a couple of straps over the shoulder and voila! a full length, waterproof corset!  I could go on, but I don’t want to give all my ideas away.  I’ll just tell you this though: it will give new meaning to the words Victoria’s Secret.




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