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JANUARY 2008

1/30

Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. I was busy watching Idol and I ain't learn nuttin from that there none as ixpected. Factoid for today posted later today totally. If you're bored here's a little something something....

Bubble Gum art...!

Oh! I thought of something else! I heard the top ten list for richest female musicians came out and Madonna was on top making $72 Million dollars last year alone. Now I don't know Madonna's personal business or whatever but I'm feeling like these rich mofos should be giving back ALOT more at this point. I'm sure she does some charity work and there but $72 million dollars is so much money! Just for one year! When I hear about celebrity fundraisers they're all puffed up to raise... a million dollars for this and that? And then on the way home they dump money on stuff like this? Slice off a check for $15 million dollars and build a whole town in New Orleans! Instead of this...

1/29

HAHAHAHAHA! Giuliani you suck!!! Loser! Nice terrible campaign strategy you cocky stupid cheater liar kook! Go back in your hole and yell at yourself in the mirror while you wear a dress and look around for a new mistress and calculate the damage you've done to your place in history, you dickweed penisbrain. Way to go!!!... nowhere, jerk. Nice eye-job. That's what you get for ditching 9/11 first responders and using 9/11 like a friggin toga! See you never, scumbag!

Maybe you can rehire your squirrel partner and get your old job back?

1/28

This morning I found out that agoraphobic people are starting to get un-agoraphobic by hanging out in Second Life. Like if someone has a huge fear of supermarkets-- they go shopping in Second Life. If they're afraid of being in a crowded room-- they try it out there. Seems sort of coolio... except when they get out in real life again they might get bummed out that they can't transport or turn into an armor plated dragon or whatever...

Here's an article bout that there...

1/27

Today I found out that China is improving the 'cool' factor in their image. Not only are they gonna blow out the summer games with all sorts of crazy fancy new fangled crap, but right after the Olympics they might televise a moon-walk live from the moon. (C'mon NASA! Let's scrap the shuttle program already and build something on the moon! Even if it's just a shed with a dome over it! Have some respect for yourself!) Anyway, no word yet if the China broadcast will be from the actual moon or from some the same set in Arizona where the original moon walk was recorded...

Hey Warcraft geeks? Want a X-51 Nether Rocket thingamajig?

(Man, eBay hasn't changed in a decade. No video fun. No nothing. How much fun would eBay be if it was loaded with video of people showing off their crap? I bet the ebay folks are siked that Meg is outta there...)

1/26

Today I watched a show called Cell Dogs on Animal Planet. Basically it was about this program in a tough prison where they bring 'problem' dogs in (abused, neglected, untrained) and let the inmates help train them and take care of them and stuff.
The good news: Violence drops off dramatically. Inmates get a sense of purpose. The dogs get a second chance and lots of love and attention. It humanizes the whole place.
The bad news? The program isn't in every prison...

Here's a website for one of the programs. C'mon wardens! Get with the program!

1/24

I guess there was a problem on buses down in Mexico. Dudes got carried away with groping chicks. Like every chick who stepped on the bus got a butt squeeze or whatever. Totally uncool. It got to the point where they now have 'Women Only' buses. Now the groper dudes can hang out and grab at each others nuts or whatever. Jerks.

Here's smore info bout that. And if you didn't hear... this was the highlight of the Jets season.

1/23

So last night I was watching Bizarre Foods and what's-his-face was wandering around Mexico. He stopped in some marketplace and one of the street carts was serving live bugs called Jumiles. Basically they're like little crawlies that apparently taste like tutti-frutti gum when you chomp em up. He ate them with a spoon. What did these bugs not get the Bug Manifesto Memo on Survival? It just says, 'Be as gross as possible...' Stoopid yummy bugs...

1/22

Hey! I've been hearing this year that Idol isn't so good or people ain't watching or whatever! But I'm hear to defend Idol! It's so far so good! And people better step off making fun of me for liking this show because it's you that are the dumdums for not watching! It is the best show on television right now and I don't care what you say! (fingers in ears) LALALALLALALAAHHALALLAHAH!

I made it about 1:30 into this before I had to surf on....

1/21

So FINALLY I found out that dudes are trying to get virtual reality back on track. The last I heard about it was friggin Lawnmower Man. Now some nerds are developing like bionic contact lenses or some craziness that can broadcast stuff onto your brain. They think people one day with surf the net on their eyeballs or play Halo 723 with no TV or whatever. Seems coolio. Never happening ever but still seems coolio....

But if it does happen it'll start with people projecting called ID onto their brains...

1/20

There's always something extra super nice when a kicker gets a second chance to redeem himself. Giants are winning the Superbowl. Period.

C'mon ya Scots! Get onboard! The kicker is one of yours...

1/19

Today TV told me about a new tech company that sounds pretty coolio. Basically it wants to start to deal with all the crap gadgets that people are accumulating. Like old iPods or cellphones or whatever. So instead of buying a stupid worthless warranty, you might be asked to pay like $10 or whatever which will guarantee a buy back of your crap device. Like if you keep an ipod for a year-- they'll buy it back for $40 and then they'll like ship it off to Burma or something for the ipod deprived Rangooners or something...

Here's the dilly on this new service thingee. Seems sort of coolio.

And here's Jim Carrey spreading the word on some Burma situation.

1/188

I found out today that our voting system is still sort of screwed. There's no paper backup to the electronic voting machines. Hopefully if its easy to fix elections both sides can figure it out and the cheating will just cancel itself out. I think Congress should pass a law that if someone is busted fixing any election the punishment is death. Period. Let's bring back the death penalty for crimes like that I say! Then we'll see Poindexter thing twice about fudging numbers...

Regardless of whatever. I do think this dude has the biggest balls (or ovaries?) of any candidate. (Plus his wife has a tongue stud...)

1/17

So the morning show dork told me that Scrabulous (the scrabble game on Facebook which I'm sort of addicted to) is under fire from the a-holes at Hasbro! They want Scrabulous to disappear because they say it's their game. Again Hasbro with the a-holesness! Because they're so stupid they never thought of putting a decent scrabble game online and now they're pissed for being outed as stupid... again!? At the least their Scrabble isn't being recalled for injuring children... yet. Jerks...

More info here...

1/16

Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. Idol being back has taken over my television watching I guess. I watched that then fell asleep during Alien 3. But today I plan to seriously watch TV. I'm talking science channels and weirdo channels in the highest registers on my cable box. Something coolio will be posted laters!

Or maybe even public access...? (nsfw)

1/15

Idol finally started up and of course I'm in with both feet for the full-season. Something about the tone seemed a little different. Maybe a little extra girly or something. And a couple of the crazies seemed unlegit. But whatever! There's already a couple blonde hot chicks and some dude with braids!

Here's Miss Kelly Clarkson pre-starred. The show seems to have gotten a little more fancy...

1/14

Today TV told me that the government is stupid again. Apparently the Supreme Court was listening to arguments for the law to allow dying people to be able to take experimental drugs not yet approved by the FDA. It's sort of like...'C'mon judge dudes... legal or no legal.... if you were heading out the door and there was a chance something could inject new life into you... you'd be all over that shit.' I'm thinking there should be a Supreme Court and a 'C'mon Dude Court'. Supreme Court can make their rulings then it can be kicked over to the for an overrule. Stem Cells. Terribly heavy sentences for first time drug offenders. Schiavo. All that stuff. C'mon Dude Court!

Dude?

1/13

Something new to worry about today! Apparently in the same way toys can be toxic... big toys can be toxic too! Toys like cars. Made with shady plastics and coated with shady coatings they're starting to test cars and finding out that ashtma and allergies or cancer or whatever. When asked why it's taken them so long to look at this problem? They responded with, 'Who's they? Us? Who's us? Who are you? We don't speak english? What? Oh my phone is ringing! My cat is sick! Something's in my eye! Gotta go...'

Wanna see how messed up your car is?

1/12

Seems like some Yankee fan is so pissed about the steroid situation that he's asking for a refund for the games he saw that were 'affected' by steroids. Like when Barry Bonds hit a homerun in Yankee Stadium and it ended up bouncing off the Empire State Building-- he feels like that wasn't a 'real' baseball moments. And he wants a refund. I kind of don't blame him. Those guys are cheaters.

Look at the before and afters...

1/11

Yesterday I found out that we're busy building this gajillion dollar embassy in Iraq that's like bigger than the Vatican City and it's gonna have swimming pools and missile launchers and basketball courts and like a planetarium or some crap. (Aren't we supposed to be leaving soon?) Anyway, they've spent ten trillion billion dollars on it and they brought in some inspector who said the whole thing is a big fire trap and they should like rip it all down and start over again. It's gonna be like the Big Dig apparently...

1/10

Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. I totally watched some TV but there was nothing on that I remember. I watched some of the Caine Mutiny and learned that the Navy tows targets out to sea for target practice. I guess that's something. Better fact laters!

Here's what I found when I searched for 'Tow targets' on youtube

1/9

So TV told me they're coming out with a $2500 car in India. Apparently the car sucks and has like no seats or outside parts or whatever and it comes with a harness and you have to pull it behind you while it leaks gasoline all over the street and the horn never stops beeping out radiation. But it's freaking enviro-people out because the last thing they feel we need is more cars-- especially like a gazillion more. But if you wanna take a looksee...

Here it be via Rico...

1/8

Man, it's amazing what goes on in places sometime. Ready for this? Some dude died while hanging out with his friends and they brainstormed what to do and lightbulbed up the idea of wheeling the dead friend to the bank to cash his last social security check. They like strapped him to an office chair with like sunglasses on and tried to get his money because 'he' was there to cash his check. The bank checked the rule book and found out that it was a no-go...

It would actually be funny if it wasn't so.... no...  actually it's just funny... ish.

1/7

So today morning news told me that some mayor out in Oregon is in trouble because she put 'racy' photos of herself on her myspace page. She's like all just wearing bra and und-ah-pants and sprawled out on the fire engines and stuff. I guess that's sort of coolio kinda sorta. Although if it was typical like fat guy mayor doing the same thing in his und-ah-pants they'd totally be forcing him to step down and leave town...

Here's a photo of Miss Mayor being all carried away with herself...

1/6

Sorry for the slacknacity here over the past few days. I was out doing Good Uncle sleepover at nephews and niece house with Roscoe and all that. But I did pick up a monkey love factoid today. Wanna hear it? Ok fine! I'll tell you anyway!

There's this japanese monkey called the Macaque monkey that have been stared at for a while by scientists so they can figure out whatever why they do what they do. And they found out that macaque monkey dudes will sit there and groom female macaque monkey chicks because it greatly increases their chances of getting monkey sex after. Less grooming. Less chance of sex. More chicks around. Quicker grooming sessions etc. Grooming = sex for the Macaques. Either that or the monkeys are just bored and horny.

Anyway, not totally surprisingly, some of them Macaques are lesbians:

1/3

So last night I stayed up watching the caucus mayhem on CNN. They got some sort of new big TV that they can poke at like an iPhone and they were all nerding out on it even though nobody really seemed to know how to use it right. One thing that was a little weird was there was a new name on a bunch of the lists. 'Hunter'. Who the hell is Hunter? It would be like Huckabee, McCain, Romney, Hunter... ? Hunter? I dunno maybe I'm out of it.

I think CNN might have been using Microsoft Surface maybe?...

1/2

I saw a new robot on some news shot today. It's like a cutesy roomba style snowplow that plows the snow-- and then poops it out as bricks of ice. Which is actually a great idea because once the robot smartens up and turns on mankind-- people can use the bricks to fight off the onslaught and build forts against them plowing up screaming people and pooping out frozen bricks of... people... or whatever.

Here's smore info on today's latest threat to all mankind.

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