DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV
Visit the Daily Fact Message Board! >> Click here!  <<< INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE BOARD. See what happens...?)

===============================================

JANUARY 2009

1/30

Yay! TV told me today that the switching off of analog (antennae tv) will be delayed until June! Which definitely means it's indefinitely delayed! At least through the end of the year! Because anything that gets 'delayed till June' is either delayed till January or more likely indefinitely delayed! Which means the TV that I have in my kitchen over the microwave will still get channel 2 only! And the old junky TVs I have lying around in my apartment will still seems somewhat relevant!

I made it thru the full 1:25... Can you?

1/29

Sorry no daily factizoid yesterday! Been only watching Idol and The Wire for the past coupleo days. But got the whole weekend free to find some goodies on the TV! Good vibes to ya, DF reader...

Here's a coolio video if you wanna watch. Chick in bed!

1/28

So last night on American Idol I still got annoyed at the new judge. I think having 4 judges takes out the element of 'break the tie' vote and I think she brings no fun to the show. I feel a little weird talking badly about her because I found out we grew up in the same hometown around the same time. But she went to fancy private school or whatever so we never hooked up at a party and stuff. Whatever.

Here's proof she's from my hometown...

1/27

So morning news person told me that some japanese dudes got sick after eating blowfish testicles. Ew. Apparently they're like all poisonous and stuff and if they sushi guy doesn't prepare em right you end up totally f--ked up and puking and paralyzed for a while or something...

Here's some stuff about that.

Here's some dude eating a 72oz steak. Chomp.

1/26

Yesterday, I seen on something telling me that there's an ongoing debate whether to restore Auschwitz or not. The death camp is like falling apart and stuff and it'll take money and effort to like prop up the ovens and bunkbeds and stuff. So the question is-- is it worth keeping as a monument of sorts... or just let the thing fall totally apart and let it become nothing. I'm sort of into the idea of just letting it crumble. The other direction seems like it'll head toward a gift shop/snowglobe/theme park type situation...

Here goes Hitler making a speech...

1/25

So last night on 60 Minutes they again demotivated my occasional need to be all healthy and stuff. Science dudes said they discovered a gene or something that like totally slows down aging. Whatever chemical something or other that is in red wine totally affects that gene from making you older and stuff. And they're gonna make a pill so you don't have to sit around drinking wine all day. Pop a pill. Live longer. Done and done! Coolio! Go science! Back in the game!

Or yeah, they also said if you starve yourself you'd be better off. Here's this...

1/23

Today TV showed me some new mall cop robot invention that can speed around the mall and catch crooks and stuff. Sort of like a Roomba but more like umm... Thiefba... or something. It's stupid and seems to be the product of some Japanese rich kid who got some money from his daddy to chase his dopey robot dream and now that it's realized he's gonna go back to sitting in the yard and will pass the time yelling at the staff about his drinks not being cold enough.

Look how ultraterrible this is...

1/22

So yesterday they told me that Yo Yo Mo and Izzy Perlstein totally faked the performance at the inauguration. Totally like air violin and air chelloed or whatever else was going on with those dudes. Way to fraud it out stupids. It was boring anyway so go f-yerself...

You're now in a league with these guys. Congrats.

1/21

I think the new judge on American Idol is a big mistake. I think she brings nothing to the table. She was badly rude yesterday (not goodly rude). And I don't like that there's 4 people voting. That makes no sense numbers-wise. And I don't like that she thinks she's some kind of super talented/connected musician or whatever. We have one of those. Called Randy. And I think she takes the edge of Paula. Big mess. If anything they should have gotten some 15 year old brat girl to go off on people...

Here's this year's plant...

1/20

I realize that if I was President of the United States today I'd be totally like overwhelmed. I'm not good with remembering stuff. I'm kind of shy. I don't like being stared at and I don't like people hanging on my every word. I don't know much about the basics of government. And I feel like I'd always have a mic on me somewhere. I don't like being rushed or standing for long stretches. Plus, I like to sleep late and I don't like decisions and stuff. So it's probably not going to happen for me. You just can't run on a platform like that.

Here goes our new president shooting hoops.

1/19

Yesterday TV told me that Dick Cheney is going to be in a wheelchair for the inauguration today. Let me just state for the record that this is obviously because Mr. Cheney does not want to show respect by standing and clapping for the the President. It's his personal way of going out with some sort of spiteful protest in his own head. While everyone stands and claps he can sit there smug in his own smart. It's pretty obvious Mr. Cheney. 3rd Grade is over now Mr. Cheney.

This was actually a high point for his whole scene I think.

1/18

Daily facts back in action starting today! Sorry for the laziness here! I've been watching The Wire every chance I get and it's disrupting my junkfood tv...

Here's a wheaten terrier that wants all the attention. (Tis what roscoe used to look like!)

1/17

Yesterday I sat in front of the TV watching the Obama train go around and I learnt some inaugural factizoids. Like that it used to be in March and that changed after the depression. And that Jimmy Carter had solar powered heat heating his podium. Lincoln had a crazy amount of security around him with like armored cars and calvary people and stuff. And that Chester A. Arthur actually dropped his pants and underwear before taking the oath to "Prove he wasn't crossing his balls..." He was a weird guy. Hung like donkey they say.

Friend of mine who's way into politics loves this speech.

1/15

Last night I watched some Celebrity Rehab: Sober House and I thought it crossed the line. It's one thing to have the illusion that celebrity rehab is actually helping people. But this Sober House is obviously having the opposite effect already. And it's amazing how Steven Adler instantly transformed from nice guy stroked out dude to jerky a-hole with one slip. Screw that guy and screw that show!

These Montana Meth ads are always sort of creepy fun to watch.

1/14

Sorry no daily factizoidal yesterday! Damn it! I will punch a wall as punishment until I'm waving into my neighbor's apartment!

Sunshine Day!

1/13

So last night I watched the premiere of American Idol and I have to go on record and say that I really don't like the new judge. I didn't like her look. I didn't like her attitude. I didn't like her comments. I didn't like the look of them sitting four across. I didn't like how she acted like she was already famous. I didn't like how she tried to out sing a contestant. I didn't like her attitude about the bikini girl (btw who was very smart). And I think she will prove to be a mistake because she's not funny. They needed a funny chick. Now a snippy weirdo jerk with some 'impressive' music resume. We already got that with Randy...

But stay tuned here! I'm gonna make my annual prediction for the next American Idol! And I've been right 7* years in a row!

*0

If she's such a good song writer and singer--- what is this?

1/12

Today morning news talking head person told me that they did some sort of test and found out that dudes with longer ring fingers are more financially successful on wall street than dudes with smaller ring fingers. Like 5x more money. Said it's blah blah genetic finger weirdness blah blah. Or maybe coincidence or something. I dunno. People always told me that if you're second toe is long than your big toe then you're like extra smart or something. My big toe and second toe are running neck and neck. One seems slightly longer. The other one doesn't. Which does sort of make sense for me. 

Here's smore info on this

1/11

So last night I watched the Golden Globe awards and it sort of sucked. It kind of sucked extra because people that I like annoyed me to the point where I didn't like them anymore. But I did think it was coolio that Mickey Roker thanked his dogs. If I ever win a People's Choice Award or something of that ilk-- I'd be thanking my dog totally! F U dog thanker making funnerers!

Wanna see Godfather II win Best Picture...

1/9

So a while ago I took a poll about which TV show series that I've never seen I should see. In the end, I decided to go with The Wire. Watched the first three episodes last night and am definitely in for the long haul. Can't believe I missed this show when it was on. But psyced! New show! Long way to go! Coolio!

Here's a song by Wire.

1/8

Morning news paranoia guy told me that if I'm getting rid of an old computer it's way important that I take a hammer to my old hard drive and make with the smashy. Dude told me there are like scavenger thieves that will grab up old hard drives for whatever and get in there to look for passwords or whatever. What a sad criminal that is. Imagine the pain in the ass of sitting in some room with like a stack of 5GB hard drives and going one by one by one just so he can hack into my eBay account and bid on something I don't want or whatever...

Have we really "evolved" to this?

1/7

Sorry no daily factizoid yesterday! I sat staring at Meet the Parents for the 10 hundredth time. I like that movie alot. But nothing to learn there.

But if you don't know what a 'hope-ah' is... Tis here...

1/6

TV told me about the dangers of third-hand smoke. First hand smoke is smoking. Second hand smoke is breathing in the smoker's smoke. And third hand is like smelling the pillow or clothing that smoker's wear or something. I'm calling 'bullshit' on this. C'mon. Unless your 5 days old this ain't doing nothing bad to you. And even then... I appreciate the stop smoking efforts but this seems like a big over reach...

Remember when TheTruth was all crazy rich with money to burn back in the day?. Looks like their site had fallen on hard times... or everyone is out on a cigarette break or something.

1/5

So last night I was watching one of my top 5 shows. It's called I Survived on the mysterious Bio Channel. (Bio Channel?) Whatevs. Anyway, some guy was telling a story how he got chomped by a shark and mid transformation into shark food-- dolphins came and saved the day! Like a whole pod of dolphins came swimming up like sea cops and surrounded him and jumped over him and slap their tails around him to scare off the shark. Ocean dudes say it's in the nature of dolphins to defend the defenseless or something. And that they're not only smart... but super good.

Here's a story about dolphins saving the day. (PS. If your tuna isn't dolphin safe you're murdering up dolphins with your dollar, hollah!)

1/4

So last night on 60 Minutes I seen some creepazoid scientists working away on figuring out how to read minds. Like they got this machine where if you think of a screwdriver or whatever-- it'll scan your brain and be able to identify the brain pattern that thinks up 'screwdriver'. And see that you're thinking of a screwdriver. Eventually it can be some wicked awesome lie detector situation by identifying the lies in your brain or something. Of course, it'll all lead to somehow figuring out how to trick chicks into bed. Which is the driving force behind all science...

Crazy Google Magic!

1/3

So today, news morning person told me that Obama is seriously thinking about deballing NASA but pulling the plug on any replacement for the space shuttle. It's all expensive and we're not reallllly gonna go anywhere in it or whatever. So he's like screw it. A NASA spokesperson released the following statement:

'President-Elect Obama's decision to not support the Ares project just shows that he is racist against aliens! Cause to be honest, we told him we totally discovered some aliens and stuff and we were gonna bring them down from... well.... the Moon! Yeah! There's been aliens on the Moon this whole time!! See I let the cat out of the bag! Spolier! They've just been living on the dark side of the moon because they have no suntan lotion! We've totally talked to them and told them that we're gonna send a spacebus for them and like bring them down here and they can do talk show circuits and the whole deal and talk about moon stuff and whatever plus we'd get to see how they have sex and they totally agreed to do porn and everything and some of them can fly but now you people are gonna see nothing! Because Obama has made it clear he's an alien-hater and prejudice against moon people! Whatever! Your loss!'

Original, was in space really.

1/2

So anyway, Dick Clark. Some people ain't liking seeing the Dick Clark. But it's something I look forward to every year and I like the tradition of him showing up with his whole situation and putting it out there anyway. The first year I admit it was depressing to see him all banged up. Now I think it's sort of inspirational! Admit it. You can't wait to see him. For better or worse...

Someone made this the other night...

 

LAST MONTH<<<<<<<<