January 2003

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1/31

I found out on TechTV that The Sims Online is sort of a flop. They expected like 200,000 people to stand around doing nothing in cyberspace at this point. Apparently right now there are only about 82,000 people standing around doing nothing in cyberspace.

If you wanna play a game with not alot going on. Just round up the fleas in the green square.. I scored 230.

1/30

I seen today that back in the day early 1900's new duck hunters didn't use duck decoys like the native american duck hunters originally used. Dudes would just grab a live duck and tie it to a stake and wait for ducks to come. That type of duck harassment was eventually outlawed and duck decoy makers got to cash in big time.

In honor of this fact I name today DUCK DAY! With features like Duck Decoys by Frankie Logan!  The worst duck game ever! Duckdog! Boring happy birthday duck! Duck urban myth! Peking duck recipe! Ducky! Ducks in space? All wrong duck! And Devilduck from the Fleens Brigade! And instructions on how you can make your own duckface!

1/29

I saw an exposť about scorpions today and scorpions really came off poorly. Going in, I figured that they ruled the desert with their superstingers and stuff. But they showed scorpions getting eaten by lizards. Scorpions being eaten by long-eared hedgehogs (immune to scorpion venom). Scorpions being eaten by other scorpions. Scorpions drowning in floods. From what I saw scorpions really need to get their act together.

Speaking of needing to get their act together, check out the front page of The Scorpions website...

1/28

TV told me about this thing called the "VLT" that these European dudes are building in Chile. Consisting of four separate superlenses working together it will be the most powerful telescope ever constructed. It will give us the ability to see into deeper into the galaxy than ever before and it may answer some questions about the origins of our existence.. 

The VLT has already captured the first image ever from the center of the universe. Here it is.

1/27

Today I watched some sumo wrestling on ESPN2 and I found it kind of fun to watch. There's no rules that I didn't know about. Nothing confusing. I didn't even see a penalty or anything. It was just straight out. Shove.. other... out of ring. The best shover today was Musashimaru who weighed in at 509 lbs of pure shoveability. But he seemed to be a little sad at his victory cheer. It made me a little concerned that maybe the big shover on the outside is a sad shover on the inside... but maybe that was a respect thing or something.

Here he goes.

1/26

Not sure if this is a fact or not, but I'm guessing the advertising 'execs' that handle alot of the superbowl ads are a bunch of giggling 9th graders... but 9th graders who aren't even the funny 9th graders... more like the 9th graders who think they're funny.  

There were a few funnies but alot of crap ads this year- like this one for Trident.. (the matrix ad was cool. the matrix can do no wrong. of course.)

1/25

Today I done learnt that if you get in a car during a lightning storm it's not the rubber in the tires that protects you. It's actually the metal because the lighting hits the car and goes all around the outside or something.

btw if your hair ever stands on end.. don't get the camera... get in a friggin car or something

1/24

I seen today this dude Joe Mozian, who is a member of Laid Off Land, with his family on a show called My Life is a Sitcom on ABC Family. I learnt stuff about the Mozian family. I learnt that he looks all sorts of bad in a cheapo gladiator outfit and that his dad has like 25 phones in his house and when someone calls... his grandchildren get scared and cry. Good luck to the Mozian's to win this contestomundo! 

Wanna be on a show? Time is running out for yer Survivor tryout application thang.

1/23 

Ok. I spaced on a daily fact today. I was running around and like thought I thought I did do something about whales but then I realized just now that that was yesterday. Sorry bout that. I gave myself a wet willy and a noogie and one purple nurple as punishment. OK? Jeez...

Still mad at me? Take it out on OJ..

1/22

Humpback Whales go around like singing songs all day. Apparently the songs have like structure and last for 35 minutes and can like travel 100 miles under the ocean and stuff.

Here's a sample of a humpback song. Good thing I don't have sleep under the ocean... or I'd be like all weirded out all night.

1/21

I seen on VH1 today that besides personal assistants and makeup people and chefs and stuff, J. Lo has a personal 'nipple tweaker' that she uses on videos to make her look all perky. I did a search on Monster for a nipple tweaker job and nothing came up. Seems like it's not a bad gig.

Here he is hard at work.... um... so to speak...

1/20

So I seen on the news that there is this mystery out in Brainerd, Minnesota (home of Paul Bunyan's Babe the Blue Ox). North Long Lake is usually frozen but this winter it's got this weird 'black hole' that's like this mysterious melted area of the lake. It could be a natural occurence. But some say it's an alien ship that crashed down there and is giving off heat. Oh yah that would be weird to have aliens out under the lake you betcha ya...

Here's the whole Fargo script .. yah darn tootin.

1/19

So on the Science Channel these dudes on the show were all excited about wormholes. They decided we could travel backwards through time if we just jump through wormholes. But I think if time travel was possible we would have already heard from some drunk future nerd who would take it upon himself to travel back in time to let us know how stupid we all are.

Here's a cool stephen hawkingish text-to-speech thing.

1/18

Today I done learnt about steganography which is like secretly hiding one piece of information inside another. Like take picture of the Mona Lisa that contains a secret video inside it or something. The guy on the show said terrorists may likely be using steganography to communicate with each other but then he went on to say... it's more likely the terrorists are not using steganography to communicate with each other. It was a dumb show. 

Most likely steganography is only used for crap secret 'features' like this worthlessness in the Fight Club dvd... yippee.

1/17

I found out today that 11% of Americans can't find friggin America on a world map. They didn't say if the countries were actually labeled or not. I hope they weren't or it would be 54% more scary as a fact. 

When I was like 12 I knew all the State capitals. I think I'm forgetting on average like one capital per year since. But C+ baby! Still passing!

1/16

I saw a bizarre turtle today on Discovery Channel called the matamata turtle. It eats by like being all camouflaged and then when a fish swims by- the matamata's whole head works like a vacuum cleaner and it sucks the fishy right in- then chomp chomp. It hangs out in South America. 'Matamata' translates to 'I kill. I kill.'

Check out this friggin weirdo turtle. 

1/15 

On Ricki Lake today the topic was Animal Obsession. I found out some people throw parties for their pets. They showed a video of a birthday shindig for some mutt named Snickers. A group of people sat around a table with party hats. Snickers had on a party hat too. There were lots of presents and a dog food cake on the table with Snickers name on it. Everyone seemed very happy... except Snickers. Snickers seemed confused... and scared.... and rightly so.

Here's a link if you need some doggie catering ideas. 

1/14

Sorry no fact today. I was running around alot and it was freezing outside. Not sure what that has to do with anything. But there was no fact today and I blame it on the weather..

Here's what the South Pole looks like. 

1/13

I watched a show today about supermarket shopping and found out that people who bring a shopping list to the supermarket usually end up spending more than people who don't. Because they buy all the stuff on the list then reward themselves with impulse buys for finding everything on the list. Plus having a list keeps you in the supermarket longer. I need more facts like that that make me feel better about not doing stuff... like making a list.

Here are some cereals that don't exist anymore. Scratch them off your list... then throw the list away to save mon-ay.

1/12

Tonite I watched as show called 'Surreal World' which I liked alot but didn't really learn any facts (except that Corey Feldman is whipped and that Emmanuel Lewis has a weird laugh). So luckily I flipped over to CNN during a commercial and found a fact for today. Here tis: Saddam Hussein is the author of 4 fantasy novels.

Here's the book jacket of his latest.

1/11

This frog called the Wallace Treefrog has evolved to the point where its webbed hands and feet function as wings. Like if they jump off a branch they just spread out totally and can like glide around and stuff. Made me think about how us humans didn't evolve to have any cool stuff like that. We walk around step by step by step like dopes while these frogs glide around right in our faces! They mock our evolutionary nerdom!

AND they have no fear of Vampire Beatles! 

1/10

This dude Dan Taylor built a submarine called the Viperfish back in 1969 to search for the Loch Ness Monster. Back in 1998 he started working on a new sub 'Nessa' to try and find the non-existent-never-has-been-never-ever-non-dinosaur-hoax called the Loch Ness Monster. He convinced his wife to sell their house to finance his $500,000 sub. You know she's pissed now all hunched over living in the sub and yelling at him nonstop..

So don't sell your house to look for Nessie. Just go here and stare at that all day.

1/9

I went with Mr. Rogers to the Land of Make Believe today. Toots was delivering toilets for the children to the 'Caring Center at the Factory'. Prince Tuesday was all upset because his parents have to work at the factory everyday but Henrietta Pussycat and Zelda made him feel a little better. It wasn't explained why the King and Queen work at a factory everyday nor why Toots was delivering toilets there. It was sort of a cliffhanger.

Here's some info on Henrietta Pussycat. The audio explains her dilly-o.

1/8

Today I done watched a show about modern cattle ranching and I found out that the US has already cloned over 250 cows to work toward producing cattle that gain weight the fastest with the least fat and cost the least but still taste dang good. It seems likely within a decade we'll all be eating cloneburgers or something. Unless you're a vegetarian or something. If that's the case you'll be eating up cloned tofu or whatever they'll clone up for you.

If you wanna keep up with what's new with that whole cow mix. This seems to be the place. Moo.

1/7

I seen today that there is this new washing machine for pets. You throw your dog or cat in this thing, shut the door and turn it on and it hoses and soaps up and washes your pet down. If your dog stinks all the time you might wanna check into it. But first make sure your dog ain't all hyrdo-claustrophobic or it might get all nervous freaked and throw up while in the machine- which could turn into a bad scene.

If your dog stinks- you're not alone

1/6

Chimps can't swim.

1/5

I done watched a show about demolition derby today and found out that the "Malachi Crunch" is a big crashmove in the sport. This term originated on Happy Days when Pinky Tuscadero got crunched between two cars drive by the Malachi brothers -which really pissed of Fonz.

Here's my demolition derby page and what happened with all that..

1/4

Tech TV told me about the biggest tech flops of 2002. The one thing that seemed ultrasuperdumb was this thing called the Xybernaut. It's a PC that you can wear on your head. So when you walk around you can surf the net all looking like a borg. Cool, huh?

Resistance is futile

1/3

Hey today I seen some stuff about 'nanotechnology'. They're using it to make camouflage uniforms that adjust to surroundings all chameleonish and it's also used it to make those dorky stain resistant pants... that I need desperately.

Bill Clinton pushed along development of nanotechnology. Unfortunately the stain resistant clothing thing came a little too late for him. So to speak. Get it? Sorry...

1/2

The tv told me today that cougars (mountain lions) used to roam in every state in the US. But now they're like almost extinct here. There's a theory that they're disappearing off the planet because people keep going out and shooting them dead. The shooting of them dead may apparently affect the population in a negative way. Weird. I think there might be a connection there.

Here's how you can defend yourself against a cougar attack. You couldn't blame em at this point I guess.

1/1

The Food Network taught me today that pasta 'al dente' means 'to the tooth' meaning 'firm to the tooth' or something. It means it's done right. I usually cook my pasta 'al da wall'- which is when you throw a strand of spaghetti on the wall and it sticks. al da wall means al dente! Prego!

Here be some common Italian phrases. Surprisingly 'al da wall' is not listed..

 

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