So today I learned a new terminolithing. It's called
FOD. And it stands for Foreign Object Damage. At airports there's all sorts
of rocks and sticks and crud around. That's FOD. And when FOD gets sucked up
into engines it makes for engines to go bad. So it's like a big problem sorta.
Yeah. Anyway, I guess it's not the funniest fact, but how psyched will you be
when you're at a party and there's some airport tech person there and you're
like, 'Hey! How's the FOD situation?' Watch them light up over that question!
Then this fact will rock!... umm... so to speak sorta... ba dum bum...
There's officially a website for everything.
Sorry no fact yesterday. I headed out to NJ to hang
with the nephews. But I did learn something from the little one. We were in the
supermarket and I was driving him around all wild in the cart like it was a race
car (some woman 'shushed' us) that was ew. But anyway we stopped at the milk and
there was a cow on one of the carton and the little one said, 'Wanna know
something about cows?' And I said ok. And he said, 'Cows drink milk out of their
So you learn something new everyday no matter what I
guess. You and your herd deserve an udder
Today TV showed me a new car tire that doesn't need
air. It's like got treads like a regular tire but its connected to the rim by
like strong rubbery spokes or something. So soon flat tires will be
totally obsolete! Replaced by smashed tires that send spokes flying at
people on the sidewalk while you skid into a parking meter and then a fire
hydrant and then the horn gets jammed and everyone starts yelling at you for
having dumb spokey tires.
... oh not tires... "tweels".
Tonite tv told me about a new supersport that I
might be a natural at. It's called 'Gurning'. Bascially you throw your head
inside a horse's bridle and make a really f**ked-up face. And the crowd decides
which face is most f**kt. I think this sport needs to be the half-time show at
the Superbowl. I'd be all over it. It would be the biggest half-time show ever!
Why do I always have to think of everything! Dags!
Here's some online gurningers for your viewing pleasure.
Today I got my daily fact from Jeopardy. Rodan (the
artist who created The Thinker) was rejected from fancy schmancy art school
named Ecole des Beaux Arts like three times because they thought he sucked or
whatever. He went on to do some great things after the rejection. It's always
fun to hear about people who got all rejected from stuff to be all successful
later on. And not only did Rodan go on to create famous works of art but he went
on to bigger things like being a movie star and going mash mash on Japan! Who's
laughing now Ecole des Beaux Arts!
Here's some info on the famous artist and city mash
I don't care what anyone says. I don't care how
popular it is. I don't care how played out it is. I don't care that it's all
stupido and so 2002. I don't care that it's repetitive and contrived. I don't
care that it's possibly everything that's wrong with everything. I like American
Idol. I can't help it. I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry. (By the way, check back
here at the end of the season for this prediction. Mario Vasquez is the next
American Idol. You heard it here first!)
Here on Ryan Starr's website down on the right she
with two T's.
Today I learnt about how all them ancient statues
back in the day were probably not just that scary white plastery look.
They might have been all painted colory bright but the paint like washed
away and all that was left was what was underneath. Which sort of makes sense
even though I never thought about it before and neither did alot of smart people
who thought they knew all sorts of stuff about that stuff and stuff.
Here's what makes up a sex
Am sorry for zer no fact yesterday. The thing
happened with the thing and then that other thing came charging in and stood
right in front of the television and I was like hey thing move your thingyness
so I can see the tv and get a fact but it was like "Grrr! Thing no move!
Thing want to play! Thing want to play now! So I had to play with the thing. So
don't blame me... blame the thing!
Here's something that shows you how you can dress as
Today I learnt about a mental boar type pig called a
Babirusa. It has like tusks but it also has these big canine teeth that grow and
grow till they pop out the top of its head -and then sometimes the curve around
and grow back into its own head all mental. Then it runs around grunting all
mental and piggy and mean and starts fights with other pigs to show who's most
mentalest pig and stuff.
Here's a video of a babirusa acting all babirusian.
Tonite TV told me all about the red crabs on
Christmas Island. For the most part they hang out in the woods being all crabby
but once a year they'll all trek out of the woods, through town, across the
road, across golf courses, parks, and through people's houses to get to the
beach. Once there, they have a big beach party crab orgy. Then the female
crabbies lay eggs in the surf. Then they all say, 'Phew...' Then they all head
back to the forest to wait out the year again.
Of course where there's a party eventually a party
pooper shows up. This time round? Ants. Why? Them crazy
Today I seen a new sport on tv called 'Finswimming'.
It's like swimming but with one big like shark fin on your feets so you swim
like a mermaid and stuff. People who finswim can swim like 75% faster then
regular feetswimmers they say. One big flipper fin on the feets definitely would
have been my idea first if I swam alot with flippers and stuff. So technically
in a parallel universe where I live on a waterplanet it was my idea first so I
deserve 5% in Planeto Aquoo 9 currency.
Here's finswimmers doing
it (dig the music) And regular ol' feetswimmer chicks playing
underwater knockhockey or something..
(load slow they do)
Today TV told me about this jockey named Jimmy
Winkfield who rode around back in the early 1900's. Jimmy was a black dude who
won back to back Kentucky Derbys back in the day. That pissed off the Klan and
they were being dicks so Jimmy headed to Russia where horseracing was cooler. He
won races there but then the Russian govt turned into a bunch of dicks so he
went to France and won races there. But then the nazis started stomping around
being dicks so he headed back to the States and people were still being
racist dicks and stuff. And he was like, "Why do people have to be dicks?!
Can't I just ride friggin horses superfast and go home?" Anyway today is
Jimmy Winkfield day at Aqueduct.
Here goes Jimmy back in the day.
So I'm watching the Golden Globes and this chick
Mishka Hartitay or something gets up for an award and her headlights were way on
so I took a picture of her 'globes' (uh huh huh) on the tv. It didn't come out
so clear so I wanted to take another picture but the cameraman zoomed in just
enough to get her headlights off tv. I'm sick of the friggin FCC paranoia! Damn
you Janet Jackson!
Here's the picture of Mishka and her headlights just
before they went under. The picture doesn't do em justice.
Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I was running amok in
the city all over the place and then came back and gave my apartment a
supercleaning and realize I have alot of stuff and started thinking bout having
a garage sale when it gets warmer because there's just alot stuff here in my
apt. Not sure tho because that's a whole thing.
Here's some tips if you've been thinking bout it too...
Today I done learnt about a place that is super
anti-urban sprawl. This architect dude got fed up with like suburbs and cities
stomping all over nature so he built this place Arcosanti in the desert which is
all about not stomping all over nature. No cars there. People work with their
hands. Zero stress. And as Arcosanti expands it goes up not out and it conserves
space so everyone gets sort of mushed in there together. Not for claustrophobic
Autophiles? I wanted a word that meant like 'car
enthusiast' and I was like is autophile that word? My vocabulary isn't
that big so I wasn't sure. Apparently autophile ain't the right word. Here's
what an autophile
is about. And here's what Arcosanti
Tonite I sat thru a friggin hour long program about
the 'Best Bathrooms in Las Vegas'. None were all that impressive to be honest
but to save you the trouble of sitting thru it all. The #1 Bathroom in Las Vegas
is in Liberace's house. It's so "nice" that people actually get
married in it. It's got the shiny with the crystal and with the diamonds and the
shiny with the gold and the shiny.
Sort of like Liberace's watch which now sits on eBay.
If you got an extra $155,600 sitting around and a hankering for an glitteroid
piano watch. Problem solved!
Scroll down there and check out the videos too...
Hey no fact today. I just got home from seeing The
Aviator and I'm gonna watch Conan and gonna go eat some Fruity Pebbles. But I
learnt earlier that Surreal Life on VH1 is friggin awesome and I'm so in on that
show for the long haul. Peter Brady. Great. Mini-Me. Great. China Doll. Great.
Here's some behind the scenes stuff from that there show.
Tonite I learnt bout polar bear moms. Basically how
it works is a polar bear dude tracks them down then they do chang chang. Then he
wanders away and does whatever. Then she goes round preggers and eats enough
food to gain like 400 lbs. Then she digs a hole in the ground and hibernates in
it for a few months. She goes into such a deep sleep that she doesn't even wake
up when she gives birth. She wakes up and the baby is just there. Probably a
dream situation for most chicks maybe. How would I know... I guess I don't...
Here's some nicey nice polar bear pics.
I seen on the tv today that some company is selling
a 'Go Canadian Kit' which is a t-shirt with the canadian flag and some backpack
patches and stuff. The kit is aimed at American travelers who don't want to be
harassed somewhere for being an American when abroad. But now canadians are
harassing the company because they don't like the idea of americans parading
around as canadians. I've been sitting here trying to think of a joke that
doesn't completely offend all canadians or completely offend all americans so it
was a tie and it cancelled itself out.
Fortunately there are canadian
jokes here. And here are some umm.. amerikan?
Today I watched a show about nanotechnology will
eventually be incorporated into soldiers uniforms. The uniform will not only
give soldiers superstrength so they can like superpunch or whatever but they'll
be able to jump like 40ft in the air and also heal wounds and chameleon
camouflage based on the surroundings like Predator sort of or whatever.
Hopefully by the time that they're ready they'll be no more war and they'll have
to sell the suits to like Badminton Association and badminton will become the
sport of true warriors with spiked exploding fireballs and full contact smashing
and we can sit in the crowd and we'd all have cotton candy that purrs when you
bite into it.
And guys like this
will be the superfighters and stuff.
Tonite I watched a whole show all about crabs. I
found out that crabs are mental and they look weird and they act weird and they
have weird eyes and they live weird and they dig holes and they like to bang and
they like the water (most of them) and they are scavengers and some of them run
real fast and they're from the species bizarro freako.
Here's go a ghost crab freakzoidial crustacean.
Sorry no fact yesterday. I had to deal with the
thing involving the going to the place and the running around and stuff. No
worries all is well.
If you wanna play Sorry
online here ya go.
Today TV told me about a Nissan car factory
somewhere that blasts sonic booms into the air when it looks like it's gonna
hail. Apparently big hailstorms have smashed up a bunch of new cars in the past
- so Nissan bought this sonicboom cannon that breaks up hail before it can form
The Cloudly Government of Hail issued a statement
that it would handle the Nissan threat by issuing earplugs for all hailstone
trainees. However, there is controversy there because the annual Hail budget was
blown on all these earplugs before it was made known to the general Hail public
that hailstones have no ears.
Tonite on the local news they threw out a teaser
like, 'Can a tsunami happen here?' And told me to stay tuned. And they kept at
it with the teasing for like two breaks. Stay tuned! Find out if a tsunami can
hit here too! So I stayed tuned. Finally they brought out some 'expert' who said
basically, 'Maybe but it's totally unlikely and chances are like... no chance
really. But you never know.' Then the news people were like.. there you have
it... maybe...you never know... Stupido news people.
Anyway, here's a tsunami video.
Not to make fun at all but when the guy says 'Ay!' it sounds like he might sound
if he was looking out his living room window and saw someone about to back into
Today I done learnt something has changed in the
Senate. Since the days of Tommy 'Long Guff' Jefferson, Senators weren't allowed
to refer to each other by name. They'd have to say, 'The gentleman from
Missouri... ' or whatever. This was put in place to keep people from giving out
personal attacks (like making fun of Tommy's nickname or whatever). Now Senators
are free to call each other by name "as long as it doesn't get too
personal." Not too personal? Don't hurt my feelings? Don't call me by my
name unless you're nice? What grade are these guys in?
Look at all this stuff they gotta
talk about... .it's amazing that anything gets done ever...
Tonite I found out some stuff about Delta Song. It's
Delta's Jet Blue basically. They're trying to get people to fly by offering
"inflight workouts". Basically you sit in your seat with like stretchy
things and little balls or whatever and work out while you're sitting there.
Some flight attendantrainer conducts the exercise class or whatever. Sounds
good!!... that is if you actually like to work out. If you don't it
sounds extra super sucky. Imagine sitting on a five hour flight with some
healthy schmuck sitting next to you all grunting and sweating and jerking around
and knocking into you and spilling your drink on you and breathing and 'feeling
the burn' and stuff. F-that. I'd rather ride on the wing.
A company has got to really piss you off to go
Tonite I was flip flip flipping looking for a fact
and I caught the end of a show about Stonehenge. TV said that some dude figured
out what all those rocks were about. See back in the day people were mental.
They thought that the moon was the most important thing. And priests were like,
'No dude... the sun is just as important as the moon...' And the people got more
mental and they were like, 'Don't talk about the moon that way! The sun sucks!
Moon is coolest!' So the priests had stonehenge built. At certain times in the
month, the rocks framed the sun at a certain point in the sky. Like a picture
frame. And it did the same to the moonlight at certain times. And people got
less mental about being defensive about the moon and saw it as an equal to the
sun. People stared at the stone box of light and felt relaxed about stuff. It
was sort of like early-man TV.
Then again some other people just assumed it was
<<<<<<<<Last years facts here.