I was just kidding about:
The Polar Bear Petting Zoo mauling.
Telling him about the packs of wild llamas in New Jersey that live near IKEA.
Leaving him alone to climb on rocks.
Telling him that Frankenstein is going to visit him if he's good.
Putting a butterfly in my pocket.
Seeing the 'Shark Attack' IMAX film. (We saw 'Stomp' on IMAX and he fell asleep half way thru.)
Telling him about invisible sharks in swimming pools.
The lesson about stealing.
...feel better now?