DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV
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JULY 2008

7/16

So today I heard that the lonely computer mouse might be going away eventually. It'll be replaced by your computer recognizing what you want to do via hand gestures and touch screens and facial expressions. He said the computer mouse will die off within five years. Five? Yeah right. Kinda doubt that dude. Sounds like someone who might still be using a mouse with a rolly ball (remember how they used to collect dust and you'd have to open it up and peel it off?)

Anyway, if there's no more mousies--- how could we play this? I scored 68!

7/15

Last night on the Daily Show the guy told me that we now have 1,000,000 people on our terrorist watch list! Sounds like we've really got stuff under control! Is it possible for individuals to sue the government for our tax money back? Why do I get the feeling that this watch list is put together by some nerd with a cheetos dust covered keyboard who is just sitting around googling old high school enemies, baseball players from rival teams and first and last names of suspicious people he met in Second Life.

I was googling around for terrorist watch list and this came up...

7/14

So today news dude told me that some of the protesters that are gonna be in China during the Olympics are going to protest the fact that China is way busy importing ivory. As much as there's cool stuff going on in China-- they sure can be dickish when it comes to other things. Like ivory. It's kind of like, 'Dudes... it's enough with the ivory! We're all looking at you to be cool for the Olympics. How bout kicking off the games with a government announcement of new things that are declared illegal. Whaling. Elephanting. Rainforest Wood. Tibet stuff. Greenhouse gasses. Human Rights. Pi Gow or whatever the yoga thing is...

Run down the list for the 'New New Republic of China' and watch the world bow...

Cmon! Look at these guys...

7/13

Over the weekend I actually felt tempted to get an iPhone. I've been rocking the Razor phone for a while and haven't gotten myself a new gadget in a while. I even went to the store to 'look at one' but they were sold out. When I got home TV told me that they suck ass and that I'd be pissed if I bought one. So I'm over it. Plus, I don't know if I want email on my phone. I consider that a major lifestyle change.

Whatchoo think of the iPhone?

MsM
Monday, June 16, 2008
"Roasted" berries with Bacon flovored wine????
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That Guy
Monday, July 14, 2008
Boobs and Beer ;-) 
 
Nuff said.
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Anon
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone
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anonymouse
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I still want one. . .
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Jess
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
if you have a phone that works now there is no point in getting a new one. deal with an old one... screw e-mail.
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Shelly M
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
I don't know who your provider is, but you might want to try the LG Voyager. Touchscreen, QWERTY keyboard, 8GB MicroSD capacity, mobile web, email, etc. No, I don't work for LG or VZW, I just REALLY like that phone (and can't wait till I can afford one).
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jaynut
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
have it. Love it. It is doubly awesome if you live in nyc and use your iPod a lot.
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chu
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
It is a great phone. Has a few 'issues' - 
 
1. 3G coverage is poor anywhere outside city proper 2. microphone is on bottom o phone so gets tons of background noise 3. camera cant take movies but is a good camera other than that. 4. Battery time is 2 hours if u use web, 3g, GPS and wifi at same time. Im sure it would be expensive if I didnt have work paying for it all :-)
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larry
Monday, September 15, 2008
it's a great phone... best gadget in years... you'll love it, promise
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JZ
Sunday, September 21, 2008
i have one.. it sucks. buy some jager and go to a strip club. you will be better off
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7/10

So today I found out some farmers are like trying to do science or something by catching cow burps and seeing how they effect global warming or something. They strapped some sort of bubble to some poor cows back and catching all his burps in there and then they'll like smell em or something. I dunno. It just makes me feel pretty primative when our latest science experiment looks like this... Shouldn't we have the ability to control the weather by now and we're strapping crap to cows?

Go science go!

7/9

Sorry no daily factizoid yesterday! I totally spaced while watching TV and didn't absorb anything. Watched a Deadliest Catch and an Intervention but there was no takeaway there other than I don't want to be a heroin addict nor work on a crab boat.

Here's an episode that was banned from A&E. NSFW.

7/8

Tonight TV told me that the President of Iraq told us that we need to get out of there or at least set a timetable to get out of their country. We responded with some sort of hemmyhawy thing about the ground. I dunno. Why do I get the feeling that 'Get out...' statement isn't so much a question but more along the lines of the Amityville Horror house. And we're the dopey family that's like buying furniture and stuff...

Here's the Amityville Horror house story...

7/7

Hey! Wanna boost your brain power? TV told me stuff you can eat to smarten up. Omega-3 fats are good. They're in salmon and some oysters and stuff. Three servings of fish per week. Blueberries are way good. If you eat a cup a day they can maybe reverse memory loss. Also drinking a couple cups of coffay are good for you along with leafy greens. So eat all that stuff and you'll smack yourself upside the head memorywise. So they say...

Wanna do something annoying?

7/6

Today the tv blabbed about how Christy Brinkley's dickhead ex-husband spent like $3000 on internet porn per month and cheated on his wife. I don't know what's more stupid. Cheating on Christy Brinkley or being so dopey that you spend all day surfing around the net for porn without understanding how much free porn there is on the internet. What a dope.

Here's how easy it is to write a paper about internet porn these days.

7/5

Today I saw a no-brainer report about breast feeding. Apparently mother's who eat lots of junk food while breastfeeding can pass along long-term health issues to the babies they're nursing. Like some mom who munches ding dongs and drinks red bull while teeting it up with the youngin will not be as healthy as the mom who munches on healthy things and drinks water. I don't know. There's so much 'Well... duh...' in news stories lately that I think there should be a channel that just loops, 'Unhealthy is bad. Healthy is good. Exercise good. Cigarettes bad. Sleep good. No sleep bad. Bad food bad. Good food good.' Apparently there's people out there that just need it...

Anyway, if you wanna watch something stupid good and not stupid bad. This is my new fave show on Cartoon Network.

7/2

So yesterday I heard about a new technology coming that I can really actually use! It's a super like cybo-contact lens that will be able to identify faces with some sort of scanner and then on your retina the lens will project the person's name. Lately, I'm so bad with remembering names at this point that it's getting disturbing. Maybe I need some ginkobiloba or something. Whatevs. They expect this lens to be on the market in Spring '85. I'll have to wait it out...

Here's some tips to remembering names.

7/1

Today I found out that Halliburton's low standards have electrocuted THIRTEEN soldiers in Iraq. Ungrounded wires near showers have been zapping dudes for years now but apparently the blank faced stare that is Halliburton has only like circulated memos about it and vowed to do something about it. They do want to extend their hearts to the families and they purchased 13 hearts for 1.7 million each and billed the government.

Check out Halliburton stock over the past five years. Wanna watch em?

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