DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV
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7/29

Today some nature show taught me that jellyfish have purpose besides being scary and alien and gross. They are apparently the mixers of the ocean. Something about how they move and process stuff helps swirl around the essential vitamins and minerals to make the ocean one big healthy marinade of marine life. And they help balance the global climate or something. Good thing they're not delicious... or else.

7/28

This morning some dope told me a fact that's pretty much like a no brainer. Texting while driving is more dangerous than talking on the phone while driving! Someone did a study and found out this to be a fact! Do you really need to do a study on this? Eyes on road while talking vs' Eyes on phone while driving? Cmon now. Too bad they never really got voice recognition working properly because it could be a problem solver. But it seems voice recognition only recognizes other voice recognizers... (it's how robots will communicate in the future while they plan their attack...)

Here's the wonderful Vista doing voice recognition...

7/27

Today I found out that Michael Vick might be allowed to play in the NFL again and I say screw that. Yah I know he paid his dues for his crimes or whatever. But I'm not down with it. I think he deserves to lose the thing he loves most for ripping dogs teeth out and tying them to rape boxes. Screw that guy. Doesn't matter anyway because no team is picking up his picketable ass. This was not a crime of passion or something he did when he was drunk (not an excuse for bad stuff but...) Vick is just a bad guy. F him...

Here's his mugshot... among others.

7/26

So anyway, last night I was watching the news and apparently scientists are worried that machines will get smarter than us. Claiming the more intelligence we feed them the more likely they are to lose control of them. But I think this really isn't something to be scared of yet. For one main reason-- battery life. Until they can figure out how to make a battery last for more than 8 hours (if its constantly running)-- we have nothing to worry about. We'd just have to hold them off for a long afternoon before they'd all start falling over. Done and done.

OOps. Stupid google always spoiling my dumb theories....!

7/25

Sorry for the slackdacquari the last few days. To be honest there isn't that much on the TV! I've been watching Sopranos reruns on A&E and dabbling in Obsessed and Intervention but for the most part I haven't learnt nuttin in days. But this weekend I'm gonna focus and find something worth blabbing about! Seriously! You wait! You'll see! Stop staring at me! What! What are you staring at?!? <runs away crying

Here's some Crying While Eating...

7/22

So yesterday I watched that show Hung which is barely barely holding my attention. Mainly because I've been distracted by wondering where I've seen the star of the show before. So although this isn't a fact I learned from the tv-- I finally IMDBd the guy and placed the fact.

This guy:

Played Todd:

7/21

Today the morning people told me something that parents can add something to their list to be disturbed about. Apparently young children digging in the sand will increase the chances of your kid getting diarrhea 44%. Apparently there's some little gross diarrhea bugs that hang out in the sand. There's like some ecoli stuff because sand is good for brewing stuff up. Total beach spoiler. Sorry to post. But there's nothing you can do about it really. You gotta let your kids dig. You dig?

Ew...

7/20

This morning I found out that the planet Jupiter is under attack. Apparently someone declared war or on the planet for unknown reasons-- although some people suspect it may have been launched by the President of Planet B who panicked when someone knocked down some of his big buildings and he just wanted to attack some planet without really figuring out if worth it or justified or whatever...

Here's smore info on the attack on Jupiter...

7/19

Hey! New Daily Facts! Starting today! No more slackery here! So you know what I just found out? I found out that the American toilet broke on the spacestation and overflowed spaceshit into the spaceship. Now the Americans have to ask the Russians or whoever if they can drop trou in their bathroom. Like ask for the key or whatever. But the Russians are like paranoid that the Americans make such american sized dookie that it's gonna ruskie up the dumper hole too. They're just gonna drop it for now tho. So to speak. I dunno. Maybe not the most auspicially start to daily factoids! But that's what I just seen on the TV! So there it is! Starting with weightless space doody. Done and done.

When I typed 'Space Doody' into the Google I got this. And here's a band called 'Space Diarrhea' from Finland!

7/8

So today I found out that science dudes are developing fuel cells that are powered by pee pee. They're finding out they can chemicalize stuff or whatever and generate power out of pee pee. It can be that one day you'll be able to pee in your gas tank and power your car. Of course, this might be a little easier for guys to accomplish. And it probably isn't great for preventing drinking and driving...

Here's a battery that can run on the pee pee!

7/7

So yesterday I watched the Michael Jackson Memorial which I did not win a ticket to...

Thank you for your registration. Sorry, we regret to inform you that your registration to attend the Public Memorial Service for Michael Jackson was not selected.
Hundreds of thousands registered, but only a few can be in attendance.

I guess it was a proper sendoff for that guy. But I think 'We Are the World' should really go into the ground with MJ. (Or wherever he's going to be layed out). Because that song doesn't work for me. I think the only real good part is when Cyndi Lauper comes bouncing in with the Well Well Well... Other than that it's the American Croissandwich version to Do They Know It's Christmas...

Prince LIED about the 'we are the world' incident/ situation!!!

7/6

News people told me that some new mom was recently arrested because she was breast-feeding her baby while drunk. (Note to moms: Not a 'good look') But it started a debate about if cops should be allowed to arrest drunk breastfeeding moms. After all, they can't arrest drunk moms who bottle feed and that's not bad for the kid unless they drop the kid. And there's no real proof that drunk breast-feeding is bad for babies... because there hasn't been any extensive testing of getting moms drunk and letting them breastfeed-- then checking back in in 12 years...

World breastfeeding challenge!

7/3

So today the cable news weekend shmuck told me that new iPhones are like heating up and sometimes get too hot to touch or whatever. I'm sure Apple freaks will go into immediate spin mode on this one. Claiming the new iHeater App is awesome or something...

Here's a link to about that and also how it changes color and stuff. Which will be named the iChameleon App...

7/2

This morning I watched Matt Lauer do a walking tour of Neverland Ranch which they emptied out totally for 'auction'. Apparently in his closet behind his clothes he had a secret area that kept secret stuff that was all triple locked with a keypad security code. Although they didn't know what was in that closet-- I actually have a friend who works as a mover part-time and he was hired to move stuff out of Neverland. And he actually caught a glimpse of what was in the closet. He will not go on record with it because he thinks he'll get sued or something. But I got the scoop...

Exclusive: Here's what was in Michael Jackson's closet!

7/1

So this morning some local news yokel told me that the FDA is considering yanking Vikes (Vicodin) off the shelves because it's all super addictive and stuff and chances are half of the people currently taking the drug aren't in actual physical pain and stuff. They're doing all this research to determine whether it should be still prescribed or not. I dunno-- I think the new rule is if a prescription drug develops a street-style 'nickname'... it's time for that drug to maybe pack up its stuff and go away...

Here's are a bunch of people rating vikes...

 

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