'DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV'
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Tycoon in a balloon, Steve Fossett, just passed the 80% mark on his way to be the first solo balloonist to fly around the world. My prayers are with Steve tonight and I think I speak for all of us when I say that for a long time I just haven't felt complete knowing that someone hasn't flown all the way around the world in a balloon. Three cheers to Steve Fossett! He's doing it for us folks! Finally! It looks like the global dream of some dope flying around the world in a balloon is coming true!
6 out 10 polar bear cubs die within their first year so mom polar bears are extremely protective over their cubs. So like if you're wandering around in the Arctic or whatever and you get attacked by a mom polar bear here's what you do: When she has her paws on your shoulders and comes in to bite your head off, put your arm in front of your face blocking the bite. But don't put your arms sideways cause then the polar bear will bite your arm. Put it in the up and down so your arm is bigger than the bite. And just keep blocking the bite that way.
Here's some pictures from them nutty Polar Bear Club people.
I saw a couple get married in the Graceland Chapel in Las Vegas. An Elvis performed the ceremony and he had really weird eyebrows and ultra-bright teeth. Lorenzo Lamas apparently got married in that Chapel to Playboy playmate Shauna Sand.
Here are some Lorenzo Lamas pictures for the chicks. And some Shauna Sand pictures for the guys. Or whatever your preference. Or neither. Happy Friday!
I saw this thing about Guard Llamas today. Sheep farmers sometimes use llamas to guard the flock from like coyotes and stuff. It was a pretty cool weird mix. Personally I don't like llamas ever since I was on a date at the Bronx Zoo and I was feeding the llamas being all nice. I remember feeling the ticklily llama lips on my palm as it ate the llama food. Then the llama like friggin sneezed or spit totally into my face. I was like covered with llama snot and chewed up llama food. My date laughed at me. I think the llama laughed at me too.
Here's some info on Guard Llamas.
I watched 'I Bet You Will' on MTV today. This dude Marcus from San Diego drank a blender pitcher full of earthworms that got blended up with milk. A pitcher full. For this he got a whopping $50. San Diego should hang her head low today for that display. I mean maybe if he prepared the worms the right way it may have been respectable.
And for the record, this TV show was my idea first. MTV stole it right out of my head.
This dude on this medical show was all messed up cause when he was young he took steroids and "tried to be like Arnold Schwarzenegger" with the working out and all that. Now he's like 50 and has pain in his back and shoulders alot. So he tried this deep tissue massage technique called 'Rolfing' where they move your muscles around to like realign your whole body. I was like ow ow ow the whole time while watching it. But some say it works.
Here's a picture of Ar-nuld drawn by Aaron Herbert
I watched some women's billiards today on ESPN2. This chick Jeanette Lee was real good. I learned three things about her. 1. Her nickname is 'The Black Widow'. 2. She has a steel rod in her back. 3. Everytime she bent over to take a shot it was ..compelling.
Chick out hot billiard chick Jeanette Lee.
I watched a show on FX about UFO's. They talked about this one 'Tether Incident' where this tether broke away from this satellite and it attracted UFOs around it and stuff. It was apparently a big deal to people who are into the whole UFO thing. Once one night when I was about 10 years old I saw a UFO. It was blue and it was coming down out of the sky like a comet. Then it stopped in mid-air for a few seconds then shot back out into outerspace wicked fast. No one believed me. Eh... whaddaya gonna do?
My UFO looked much cooler than this Tether thing.
On this show called HorsePower TV these dudes were fixing up a 1997 Mustang. They put the car on something called a Dynojet Chassis Dynamometer. It's a thing where you can floor the car like full speed inside the garage but it doesn't go anywhere. It looked like at any moment it was gonna fly off the thing and go speeding into a wall. But it didn't. I guess the Dynojet people did research on how to prevent that from happening.
Here's an in-depth look at the Dynojet Chassis Dynamometer written by Hib Halverson.
I watched some kids show about dinosaurs. I found out that the origin of the word dinosaur comes from 'deino' meaning scary or terrifying and 'sauros' which means lizard. Dino-saur. Scary-Lizard.
These lizards are not scary. I like the one on the top row in particular.
Today on Animal Planet there was a segment about these two miniature donkeys named Clip and Clop. They were cute. If you want them to go left it's called a 'Gee' and if you want them to go right it's called a 'Haw'. This farmer was doing a demonstration for bunch of schoolkids and everything was cool until this little kitten ran out into the field. Clop got scared and reared up on his hindlegs and then came down on the kitten -smushing it. The kids started screaming. This made Clip all mental and he started charging at the children who ran away and climbed trees. Clop started digging and shaking his head around all weird and angry. Then the farmer started shooting a rifle off into the air and this made Clip go berserk and he started running (on his hind legs only!) at the farmer and making this horrible 'arruuuuhh! arruuuh!' noise. His eyes were burning red. I heard all the children screaming and then this siren went off. I saw the farmer desperately trying to load his rifle as Clip charged. He was dropping the shells and cursing. Then this hoof (I guess Clop's hoof) swung in on the camera shattering the lens. Then I got a test pattern on my screen.
Click here if you want to buy a miniature donkey.
*actually in retrospect I may have misinterpreted this show. here are the real Clip and Clop. they seem totally harmless.
I watched as show about California Condors today. Back in 1987 there was an aggressive campaign to save them cause they were all endangered so these dudes caught a bunch of em and bred them. When the eggs hatched they wanted to limit human contact to the baby condors so they wouldn't grow up all crazy -so they used condor puppets to like parent some of them. See?
It sounded like a good idea to me then I found out it might not be. See?
Sorry no fact today. I was out all day at my nephew's 4th birthday party. No TV all day... actually no wait that's not true. I saw some new procedure for treating vericose veins on the Today Show this morning before I left the apartment. I don't remember what exactly it was though. I guess that doesn't count as a fact...... OK! I'll go find the link! One sec... Here! Jeez!
*correction* my mom told me varicose is spelled varicose not vericose.
In the 1930's this Texan dude Dad Joiner got obsessed with trying to find oil but apparently that's an expensive hobby so he lived off rich widows by "kissing that certain spot on their neck" and stuff. He starting drilling in this one place (for oil that is) even though the experts told him not to bother. But he went on a hunch and done drilled into like a 45-mile long oil well. Of course, he went and spent all his money and died at 80-something living off rich widows.
Here's some info on some erogenous zones in case you wanna drill too.
It was Father's Day today. So I watched some golf with my dad. Tiger Woods won the tournament (big shocker). And this dude Phil Mickelson came in 2nd. Apparently this Phil dude has a history of coming in like 2nd or 3rd alot in major tournaments so I kinda felt bad for the guy.. then I was like... 'Wait a sec! This dude is rich as hell and he plays golf for a living!' Life can be worse for Phil. But he made a new fan in me. I'll be rooting for the guy till he wins one.
This might help.
I watched the National High School Cheerleading Championship on ESPN. The Collierville High School Cheerleaders from Tennessee were going strong but had a couple mistakes here and there which took them out of the running for the championship. But good effort by Collierville! Go get em next year!
There's this phenomena called 'ball lightning'. It's like these balls of energy that fly around all electrical. They may appear when there are big storms or tornadoes and stuff and make noise and make everything smell weird and cause damage and stuff. Some scientists still deny their existence cause they're so rare and there's no good explanation for them.
Here are some eyewitness accounts of ball lightning. Some are scary and some seem like they may have been drug-induced.
There is an Italian tradition called the 'Dance of the Giglio'. Italian dudes dance down the street carrying a giant like 5 story tower and the whole community comes together and celebrates and all that. The tower thing is way frickin heavy cause it's got a 12-piece brass band on it! The dance is led by a 'Capo Paranza' who has a big baton or something. He tells them which way to go and when the dudes should set it down and pick it up and stuff.
Here's some info Giglio Feasts.
I watched this show 'Regents Review Live' which is a show to help high school students in NY pass the Regents exam. They were reviewing chemistry stuff and talking about the differences between organic and inorganic compounds. They touched on which ones usually 'create salt' and how some end in -IDE or -ITE and poly this and that with the Ca SO3 or something. It was weird I totally spaced out like right away which gave me a nice flashback to my high school days when I reacted in exactly the same way.
Here's a pop quiz!
I watched a show about Tasmanian Devils today and learned that Tasmanian Devils are crazy. Their bite is three times the strength of a frickin pit bull and they can eat like half their body weight in a single meal. I never realized how dead on that Tasmanian Devil cartoon character was.
They actually really do sound like this.
I watched some wakeboarding on Fox Sports TV today. In theory, I learned how to do the Osmosis 5, the Hoochie Glide, and the Double Whirly. In reality the one time I tried waterskiing I only seemed to be able to master the 'Dumb-ass'. It's the one where you keep holding onto the rope long after you wipe out.
If you're in the mood to do a Wrapped KGB today here's what you need to know.
The blades of the light sabers used in Return of the Jedi were actually german tank antennas. I bet if you had one you could sell it for alot.
Check out how much this friggin Jawa is going for.
This brit dude Joseph Williamson made a ton of money in tobacco in the 1800's and retired. Then he started paying people to tunnel. He had them tunnel for miles under Liverpool. But the tunnels apparently serve no purpose. Some say he did it to employ the unemployed cause he was generous. Or maybe he was a religious freak who planned to hide there on doomsday. Others say he just was on a powertrip -making dudes do dumb stuff for no reason.
They're still digging to find out how much was dug.
I watched the MTV Movie Awards and I learned three things. 1. Ewan MacGregor wears lots of eye makeup. 2. Award Shows are gross and getting worse. 3. Nicole Kidman says either 'And dum' or 'And da' in between every sentence.
Also Kelly Osbourne sang this for your listening unjoyment.
Yo vi a Milagros en Univision hoy. Un hombre en una camisa negro estaba riendose en la sofa con una chica. El telefono sono y ella lo cogio y empezo a hablar con otro hombre. El hombre con la camisa negro se puso celoso....despues que ella termino hablando en el telefono, los dos empezaron a besar y se fueron al cuarto para hacer el amor. No puedo decirte mas como yo no entiendo mucho en espanol.
Barbie's boyrfriend Ken has a last name. It's Carson. I learnt that on Hollywood Squares today.
Here's some pictures of their honeymoon.
The Dickerson Park Zoo in Missouri is getting an Albino Alligator this summer. Albino alligators are very rare and don't produce melanin so they're all white. They also don't like the sun so they will often wear funny hats, sunglasses, and hawaiian shirts. But don't let that fool you. Albino Alligators will still bite your frickin head off.
Here's one... naked!
The guy on the news told me that roller coasters could do damage to your brain. The space shuttle hits a max g-force of 4 g's (whatever that means) but some rollercoasters can go as high as 6g's. I went to Great Adventure last summer and I think the Batman and Robin ride definitely rattled the state capitals right out of my memory.
Even this rollercoaster makes me nauseous.
The TV taught me that The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) monitors the Sun round the clock. They are very interested in solar flares which can disrupt radio and satellite communication.
Here is a Solar Activity Monitor which updates itself every 10 minutes. Not sure what the frig it means but there's that. Now you can monitor the sun too! Click on the graphic for more info.
The TV showed me how the male hooded seal has this weirdness where it like puffs out its whole nose like all balloony. They do this to ward off other seals and also to hook up with female hooded seals. Apparently the female seals dig the whole nasal move.
But when they're not doing that they're doing alot of this.
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