So I guess today is the big day that the iPhone finally gets scooped up by thousands of mental geeks. Dudes are sleeping out for them and all that. Mental. I haven't slept outside in years. I don't even like camping that much because I'm afraid of bugs and snakes and bears and satsquatches and murderers and bats and quicksand and dirt monsters and wolves and forest ghosts and the dark.
Oh anyway. Here's an iPhone for $125,000 if you want one...
And here's someone doing a thingee bout that thar...
So newswang told me today that we've spent $19 billion dollars on training Iraqi troops and right now there are about 350,000 troops. Newsguy said that's like $55,000 per Iraqi soldier but there's no telling if these guys are lean mean fighting machines or still stuck at the aim away from face phase of training. Man, $19 billion is alot of money. If I had $19 billion dollars I'd have a crazy cool house!
Here's the Pentagon Channel:
Today TV showed me that thars a new sheriff in town... umm... when it comes to killing gophers in gopher holes. Apparently farmers or whatever hate the gophers because they... dig holes and live in them or whatever. So they developed a new weapon all Bill Murray style. It's called the Rodenator Pro! Sort of looks like a golf club and you stick it down in a hole and pump gas in there then light it up and BOOM! BBQ gopher. (poor little critters)
They don't run this ad on NY1 (local NYC news station)
So no factizoid yesterday but this morning I found out that The Cyclone (the rollercoaster in Coney Island) is turning 80 years old so people are celebrating which I guess is coolio. I've never been on The Cyclone-- but a rollercoaster that's turning 80 doesn't seem like the umm safest thing in the world? Or whatever? No? I don't know. I've never been nuts for rollercoasters in general. Always been more of a bumpercars kind of guy...
Here's the best rollercoaster...
Tonight I found out there's a new stupid type of spam out there. It's an email from someone saying they've been hired to kill you.... because of what you did... BUT! If you're willing to cough up $30,000 they will call off the hit and not shoot you or whatever. Apparently guilty people have been falling for it kinda sorta. So if you're guilty and get hit with one these... relax... you ain't busted... yet.
Here are 8 ways to kill someone using an iPod nano...
Today I watched some stuff about stuff and have come to the conclusion that our Vice President is a scumbag and probably a criminal. (Happy to out him on this truth because a long while back I called Rumsfeld an a-hole and now he's in the garbage can.) So figure it can't hurt...
This guy wants him to be totally impeached. He's sort of interesting. Too bad he's got the elvish hurdle and stuff...
So newspeople told me today that older siblings usually turn out to be smarter than younger siblings. IQ-wise. That makes sense to me. My brother definitely has a higher IQ than me totally. I mean look at these grades! This skizzle has younger sibling written all over it!
TV showed me that the science dudes are developing headgear that reads brainwaves allowing people to move stuff with their mind. Right now it's just basic stuff but dude on TV said that eventually people will be able to change the TV channels.... with their minds. Also people will be able to turn on the lights and stuff. Just by thinking a thought! Why do I get the feeling these science dudes are like all beergutted with dorito crumbles all in their beards?
Here goes the headgear...
The TV news guy told me today that most sunscreens lie on their bottles. Like when they talk about being waterproof or lasting all day or blocking out this ray and those rays 40 30 UV 20 15 whatever. It's all pretty much total bullsheet. The FDA was told 29 years ago that nobody is really monitoring or testing sunscreen claims and 29 years ago the FDA said they'd take care of it right away. And by "right away" they apparently meant... "never ever"...
After all sorts of testing here and there... wanna know the bestest one? Click here.. (Doesn't matter to me tho! I never ever get sunburned!! because I'm too hairy... and I'm embarrassed to go to the beach.... Bonus!)
So I found out that people with too much money will have something new to throw money at to show they care about the environment and stuff. They can walk around with an $960 Hermes "reusable" grocery bag. A better idea might be buying a $20 grocery bag and giving the other $740 dollars to some sort of environmental charity... but that's just me...
Maybe it should say, "I'm a rich dope.... who cares." ?
If you want a really coolio reusable bag... Here's the one you should get!
Subject: Hi Todd
Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007 13:36:21 +0100
Hey, great site btw. Iíve been coming back for 4 years now!
Saw your post on Tuesday re the Hermes $960 ĎIím not a plastic bagí. I donít think this is quite accurate though.
Anya Hindmarch (the handbag designer) designed a limited number of these and sold them in her London stores for less than $10. I live near one of the stores and hundreds of people were queueing at 5am waiting for opening time. They flew out the door. It was a great idea and a great way to promote the over consumption of disposable plastic bags. Itís made people a lot more aware here in the UK. The bags quickly started changing hands on ebay for large amounts of money, which was helped by lots of celebrities being seen carrying them: Kiera Knightley, Kate Moss etc.
They also made a limited range for a supermarket chain here, which sold out immediately. The originals still change hands on ebay for $900+, but originally were less than $10 new. Maybe Hermes are copying the idea, but I doubt it.
Thatís me finished. Take care old boy!
TV news told me tonight that the Europeans are like getting ready to gang up on America kinda sorta. They're working on some sort of secret treaty that will make it so they can consolidate their power to be just as strong or stronger than America. They want to be a quoteunquote "Superstate". What are they crazy? Don't they realize we're crazy now?
Supposedly the European Union thing is some sort of like biblical prophesy end of days thingamajig. Uh oh spaghettio!
So I finds out today that there's gonna be a new Twinkie in town. The 'banana' filled Twinkie (I don't know something about that name sounds like some kind of penis prank). Anyway, on the shelves soon will be this new Twinkie. The coolioness of it is it's actually not 'new'. It's the original flavor or Twinkie before the Twinkie people wised up and realized ain't everyone bananas bout bananas...
Scroll down here for some Twinkie wedding cakes! Perfect for umm.... Twinkie themed weddings?
Hey today I found out something disturbing and gross so I figure... why not share? Apparently there's this gross germy bug thing called Listeria that is like an evil superhero bug (in the bug superhero world). It's so tough it can get vacuum sealed into food packages like cheese or even ice cream. It lives in there with no oxygen or nuttin but when you eat it... BAM! Diarrhea time!
Life is gross! (sometimes)
Today some dork on TV told me that the planet Pluto totally sucks. Like last year scientists ganged up on Pluto and yelled at it that it wasn't even a planet. It told Pluto that it was just a dwarf planet. People from planet Pluto preposterously protested primarily like pricks ;-) but now Pluto was yelled at that it wasn't even the biggest drawf planet either anymore. Apparently some planet Eris is a dwarf planet... but bigger than Pluto. So Pluto is like 2nd place in the dwarf planet community now. Poor Plutoronian pricks.
Here's some info on Eris.
TV told me about this little lamb that was wandering around in the Bronx. Apparently it escaped from the slaughterhouse and was just wandering around. Finally they caught it but because it successfully escaped-- it gets to live out the rest of its life on a farm upstate somewhere. I guess that's coolio. Hopefully that message will circulate to other animals and they can all make a break for it. But it weirded me out a little that somewhere in NYC they're slaughtering livestock. I thought that happened out somewhere else.
Look how cute! I think I might be done eating lamb.
So I seen on the TV that there's gonna be a new wave of 'reusable' products. Diapers, tampons, all that stuff we throw out non-stop. I guess that's coolio and it decreases landfill stuff and all that. Gotta like that... But umm...
The Moon Cup?
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:22:52 -0300
Subject: June 14th's Daily Fact
I don't want to be a big downer or anything, but why the "umm..." about the
MoonCup? I have one of these cups, in a different brand, and not to get into
details or anything, but it's awesome! I am saving tons of mon-ay, not using
bleached, processed products, and reducing my garbage all at the same time!
I wish that more people knew about how great these things are. So please don't
knock the menstrual cups! Maybe since you're a guy you don't really like to
think about this kind of stuff, but really, they're not as weird as you think.
All the best from a big Canadian fan,
Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. I flipped by America's Got Talent for a little while. There was a guy who trained housecats like circus cats and then there were like five drag queens singing badly. I had to flip. Wasn't sure the name of the show was honest.
Here's some drag queen news.
So scientists are claiming that when they look at fossils they see that alot of the dead animals seemed to die while gasping for breath. With their heads back and arms flailing. Like something in the air was keeping them from breathing. Scientists are calling this theory 'The Global Egg Fart Theory'. Sort of scary to wonder what happened back then... and what could have possibly blasted a fart so super bad.
Here's a video bout that farty situation.
So last night I watched the ending of the Sopranos. At first I was confused. Then bummed. Then angry. Then fascinated. Then satisfied. Then angry again. Then sort of mixed feelings... but in the end I decided that I was totally ok with the ending itself (getting more and more brilliant as time passes) but had some issues with the episode as a whole. So I give it a B. (And yes, I think the black screen was Tony being whacked. Never see it coming. Done and done.) And that's that with that. It (he) sleeps with the fishes. Some people think it was as bad as this tho...
TV told me today that scientists are working to recreate a Big Bang to test to see if the Big Bang theory isn't all just a crock or whatever. They made this big tunnel with like magnets or whatever and they're gonna smash up some particles and mush in some dark matter or something and then kaboom it up. Sounds great.... if you're into ripping a hole in the fabric of time and allowing the crustacean creatures as big as mountains onto our planet!!!! But hey at least we'll know the answers to some of the universe's mysteries while we're being torn to pieces in their massive pincers. Thanks science!
Here's the creepy place where that skizzle is going down...
Today I learnt that you can tell the temperature outside by listening to the chirping of crickets. Count the number of chirps in 15 seconds then add the number 37. This will give you the exact temperature in Fahrenheit. At least that's what the dope on TV said so who knows. So what do you get if it's 20 below? Cricket-sicles!
Ok that was dumb... like this...
Apologies for no daily factazoidal yesterday. I went out and ate some spicy chicken and ended up with a situation at home. Nuff said...
Everything is ok now. I'm not mad at Paris Hilton. I'm mad at the law. Here she spins around (NSFW)
Yo! What up! Check this sht out!!!! I was sitting on my ass watching the teev, right and I see this sht come all up in my face on it! Chek it! TV tells me that Japanese dudes are all about whale meat and they want to eat whale meat and they want to go out and shoot the whales and eat the whale meat. But different peep environmental tyep organizations are like, 'Fk that, Japanese dudes!' that mess is all sorts of old school! No mo eating whale yo! Go eat somethin else like turtles or something! And turtles were all like, 'Fk that don't be throwing that sht on us, yo!' And whales were all like, 'Coolyo we don't wanna get all eaten up, yo! Peace out!
Here go some whale recipe action yo!
Last night I watched that some shrinks are all outraged about this past week's Soprano's. (Basically Tony's shrink heard about a study that claimed that if you treat a criminal sociopath it's pointless because the criminal will just turn the whole thing into another scam or something. So she dropped him with no notice. Plus, Tony's name was discussed at a dinner party and outed as a patient.) So shrinks feel like the whole situation gave shrinks a bad name because they're willing to blab names over dinner tables and drop patients for 'no reason' etc... or something.
But the study about treating sociopath's was real. Here tis some info you're curious...
Today I found out that President has announced the Cold War is finally over! It didn't actually end like 15 years ago like everyone thought. It's just been so super cold I guess it was numb and nobody noticed. But now it's over! Russia isn't our enemy anymore! Mission accomplished!... wait... Uh oh... spaghettio.
Here's what MTV Russia (We win!) looks like...
Today I found out that somebody screwed up and posted computer generated pictures of the future US Embassy in Iraq online. Apparently it was a big security breach to show what the whole thing was going to look like. I wanna see what it looks like! 10 pictures got leaked. If anyone can find them and email them to me.... you get a coffay cup! I'll post em here... maybe... I don't know. Maybe for a day. I don't want to go to Guantanamo or nuttin.
I guess this is the pool at the embassy?
Yesterday I watched a show about snakes in Africa. There are scary snakes who live there. My report is about the Green Mamba. The Green Mamba is a poisonous snake but if you get bitten by a Green Mamba most likely you will not die. The Green Mamba has fangs and transparent eyelids. People who work in orange groves get bitten all the time. The Green Mamba is called the Green Mamba because it is green and it is a mamba. There is also a Black Mamba snake which is more deadlier. I would not like to meet a Mamba but I would not mind looking at one in a zoo where it is behind glass. The end.
Here is a video of the Green Mamba. It is a nice looking snake.
Sorry no daily factizizoid yesterday it was Friday and it seems I slack the hardest here on Friday! But today it's hot out so I'm a watching some TV! Over there! On the couch! I bought a WHOLE watermelon and I'm gonna eat the whole thing too!
My cat can eat a whole watermelon?