So last night during Intervention I saw a commercial for a new product that seemed particularly dopey. Do you forget to water your plants all the time? Isn't it a hassle filling something with water and bringing it to the plant? Are you sick of dead plants because you just can't get around to watering them? While you're lying in a drunken stupor, don't you wish someone would just get up and water those plants? Isn't your personal game of 'Die Plant Die!' simply getting boring? Do you wish your plants would stop that high pitched scream at you to bring them water or murder the neighbors?
Well, there's finally a solution. Aqua Globes!
So today I found out that google is coughing up some dollars to pay dollars to whoever can put a rover up on the moon. Finally, it seems were gonna get some new moon activity which is like way overdue. Apparently there's some team from Romania that's leading the way to get something roving around up there. I dunno. It gets a little depressing when a privately funded company is paying Romania to show us how to do stuff space-wise. C'mon NASA. Restructure and relaunch your mission! Throw the spacestation in the garbage! It's obviously a hunk of junk! Forget the stupid space shuttles. Sell em on eBay and raise some cash...
And focus everything you have on getting someone to Mars.... Anything else is whatever! 1985 called and they want their spaceprogram back!
Here goes the Romanian teams website... Go Romania!?
So today TV told me that it's the 60th anniversary of the first computer. Apparently like 61 years ago (get this) there were no computers! Numbers didn't even exist yet! And 100 years ago they didn't even have TV!!!! They'd all like sit around and stare at each other and throw things at each other and crap! Weirdness! They couldn't even go to the bathroom! And if they wanted to blog they'd have to write on their walls with blood and then invite people over to read the blood! These were called Blood Blogs. Lame!!! Also there was no such thing as music. Music was invented in 1914 by this guy named 'Mr. Weens'. He documented his invention on his blood blog and his first song was called, 'Apples and Stars and Downstairs Mumblings Circle.' True story.
These guys inveted computer
Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. I shamefully watched So You Think You Can Dance and liked it even though I can't distinguish good dancing from bad dancing and the woman in the middle with the big chompers blasts me a headache everytime she opens her yap. Nothing to be learnt from that show other than the fact that I'd be a bad 'krumper'.
Anyway, on a completely unrelated note-- ever wonder where the lucky animals who escape from the slaughterhouse end up?
I know this is a double Bush bash factoid this week but....
Isn't the middle of our country like flooding? Hasn't it been for like a week or so? Why is it so out of the question for our President to cut a 'do nothing' farewell vacation tour around Europe to excuse himself from the trip and come home. I'm sure Europe would understand (they'd probably prefer it). I mean our country is experiencing billions of dollars of damage daily now. In any other job you cut a trip short if things get messed up! Shouldn't he want to be home when his country 'needs him?'
Anyway, whatevs. This is sorta funny from back in the day. A real fake broadcast!
TV told me some good news today. That the music industry might be making some sort of weirdo retro comeback. While more and more people are stealing music like crazy and CD sales float around in the toiletbowl like doodies on vacation. More and more people are actually buying vinyl again. Audiophiles (aka audiosnobs) dig the sound and the experience of listening to albums again. Sales went up 36% last year. So hold onto your old vinyl! They might worth something! And cassettes? Well... throw those in the garbage can. They ain't never coming back...
Well, maybe vinyl still has a ways to go. You can buy a whole friggin record store for just $25,000....
Today the news mumbled that Exxon Mobil is actually getting out of the gas station business. Not sure what their dealio is but apparently the 'retail' oil business is like in trouble because oil prices are so high? Or something? So over the next few years all individual Exxon Mobil stations will be sold off to who the hell knows who for who the hell knows how much. They'll still say Exxon Mobil... they'll just be owned by some.... sucker?
By the way, oil was at $30 a barrel when Bush took office. Yadda yadda. Not his fault. Yadda yadda. 9/11. Yadda yadda. Saudis. C'mon. The guy obviously just sucked.
Today I seen on the TV that they wanna start implanting junk in us so we can stop 'carrying stuff around'. Eventually our whole bodies will be wired up with iPod ear implants and cornea computer surfing or some crap. Also Tooth Radio. Radio in your tooth. I guess they yank one out of your head and plug in a radio tooth so you can... listen to the radio in your head and/or receive secret signals that put you into a trance and do services for the evil electro-slave taskmaster.
Here's more info on the toof implant.
Morning news hookers told me advice about buying new sunglasses. Here's what they said-- it is important to know what looks best on a chick's face shape. Round faces look best in angular frames like classic wayfarers. Long face people want oversized frames that cover more of the skins surface. Triangle face have wideness on forehead so you want more of an aviator look. Oval face smaller sized frames rounded. Square heads needs big round frames. So that was that. Boring fact!
Or if you got stupid rich airhead idiot face you can wear these...
Today I found out that the Space Shuttle is heading home. It went up last week or something to do some plumbing job and fix the broken poopie pot. Hopefully, the pieces that friggin fell off that jalopy when it took off won't affect the re-entry. I wonder if when astronauts go poopie in outerspace they think it's kind of funny and fun. Like I'd be yelling from the space bathroom, 'Poooop in Space....!!!' Like the same way they said, 'Piggggs in Space....' Remember pigs in space?
So local news person told me last night that some a-hole fake hedge fund scammer guy faked his own death by faking jumping off a bridge and nobody is buying it. He was on his way to check himself in for 20-years in prison and made some detour with this bad plan or whatever.... you know what another bad plan is? Letting some guy who has to check himself in for 20 years in prison drive there by himself!! WTF!?
If you see this guy wandering around in your hood. Punch his face and put a knee in his back till the cops come...
No factoid. Sorry bout that. But here's something to look at...
The five most ridiculous porn scenes!! Terrible!
Last night I let Kenneth Obernman on MSNBC yell at me for like 25 minutes or whatever. I sort of like the Obernman guy but he strikes me as the kind of guy who would...umm... like... totally be that guy. Anyway, I realized that I've seen John McCain's wife a whole bunch of times but I've never ever heard her speak. Not once...
Wanna hear her?
They gotta bust her out more often. She seems alright (kinda hot too). And John is putting everyone's feet to sleep...
So I found out that it's becoming a reality that whales are screwed. There's not alot of em left and even though they're on the endangered species list and protected and all that-- they're still being killed by the fishing industry by accident. They're getting like snared in nets or hit by ships or whatever. Save the Whales people are saying if the ships just slow down speed-wise whales can have a chance. But the fishing industry says they'll like go out of business or whatever if they slow down. And I guess they have a strong enough 'yelly' to shout down the enviromentals. More info here.
I'd like to think there must be some creative ways to bring more attention to the problem... but I'm guessing nobody wants this in their Yes encore...
TV showed me today that 2 dudes climbed the NY Times building. One like in the morning and one in the afternoon and after seeing the video I just had one thought. That building is particularly climby! Like no wonder they wanted to climb it! It was built all climby and stuff! I wanna climb it! It's all climby! Like, didn't the architects take a look and say, 'Dude... does that look like.. like... too climby or something?' And then they whatevered it...
until this dude came along...
So today I seen these dudes showing off this car they built that can get 230MPH. Their logic is that most of the energy of a car is burned 'pushing air out of the way'. So they built something like super aerodynamic that like cuts thru the wind or whatever. With this design they can drive across the country on a single tank of gas. The government/oil company is currently working hard to figure out how to ruin these guys and/or make them disappear in a freak accident involving their own vehicle.
Here's their car. The Aptera!
TV told me good news about red wine. Apparently red wine might give people longer life by slowing aging or something. I dunno. It seems the red wine people are busting out a new claim about how awesome red wine is every like six months and it's starting to get suspicious. Like they're gonna announce next month that if you get drunk on red wine you'll be smart and witty or something. But whatever! I like my red wine just fine! I don't know too much about wine in general so I buy wine based on label mainly. Like if the label has a dog on it I'm buying it... That sort of thing.
Here's a wine I got recently that tasted good to me AND had a coolio label... Boom Boom! And here's a whole thing about red wines.
If you like red wine and know of a good bottle under $15 please post it below...
So last night I saw a bunch of yapping heads talk about who Obama is going to pick for Vice President. Is it going to be Hillary? Is it not going to be Hillary? Well, I'm here to tell you that I have super inside information into the Obama campaign who told me in absolute secrecy who Obama will be picking at the beginning of August* (*lie). And because I can't keep a secret I am announcing the VP here on this website! Scooping AP! Scooping Drudge (dickhead)! Even scooping Scoop McCovey! They best ice cream and pooper scooper ever!
The VP choice is this person.
What you think?
So newsdork told me today that 45 million Americans still smoke and that cigarettes are as addictive to heroin and maybe even more dangerous.. (why are cigarettes legal again?) But dude told me four steps to quitting. Step one. Never smoke a cigarette. Step two see step one. Step three see step one. And step four. Repeat. Something like that basically...
Here's a useful cigarette. And here's the real four steps to quitting..
So yesterday TV told me that the space shuttle took off to bring a new toilet bowl up to the "International Space Station" (does anyone really know why that even exists?). Anyway, apparently the one toilet bowl up there broke after one astronaut made such a big doody he broke the whole toilet. That one doody ended up costing NASA like $100M or something.