FRIDAY'S KIDDERS 9!
(Now comments free!)
Did you, your kid, or someone else's kid say something
way embarrassing or stupid stuff by accident? Type it up and
send
it in!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This just happened the other day: my
6-year-old nephew and his mom (my
sis-in-law) were waiting for the school bus one morning, when a little
baby bunny hopped thru their yard and out into the street.
Unfortunately, it got hit by a car... and my nephew was very
traumatized and crying. Then he looked up at his mom and said
(referring to the driver of the car), "That guy was an asshole!"
-Jennifer
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As any parent can tell
you, kids are ferocious mimics. It's how they learn language, something even
the smartest computers today haven't mastered. It also teaches you to Watch
Your Mouth around the little ones.
My (now ex) wife and I
were running a little late one morning, where all the little things were
coming together in the worst way at the worst time. Like a burnt-out light
bulb in the shower that had to be replaced. Like the cat deciding this would
be a good time to bring up a hairball on the couch. Like finding the sock
drawer empty. Like realizing we'd forgotten to pack our 4-year old
daughter's lunch the night before.
You know, one of those
mornings.
So while my wife was
downstairs throwing together some random edibles our toddler could tote to
daycare in her Smurf lunchbox, I was upstairs getting the kid dressed. I
have to say at this point that she was a beautiful child - not just in
physical appearance, though she'd inherited her mom's blue eyes and abundant
blonde hair - but she was a sweet little girl, in love with her kitty cat
and her grampa and grampa's dog, and even the occasional toad, snake, or
turtle I'd bring home for an afternoon of bonding. Just a lovely, angelic
little girl. Any guy who's fathered a daughter knows where I'm coming from.
The gnomes of tardiness
had left no stone unturned that morning, because all of her newest clothes
were in the laundry hamper. Kids grow like weeds, and outgrow their clothes
faster than caterpillars go through layers of skin. So I grabbed one of last
month's models, a pullover turtleneck that was maybe a tad on the snug side,
and whipped it over her head. "Lift your arms, Sweetie," I said, and ever
the complaisant child, she did. I threaded her arms into the sleeves and
worked the thing down onto her head before giving it a tug. It took a little
straining, a little tugging and yanking to finally get the thing on her.
When her head finally
popped up through the neck of the pullover, she was disheveled and a little
nonplussed. "Jesus!" she said.
She got the intonation
just right. It was a perfect "Jesus!" that would have fit in on any
machine-shop floor in America. I stared at this little blue-eyed angel in
amazement.
Must have got it from her
mother, I thought.
-an old curmudgeon from
N.H.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So heres one from work. I work at a rent to own retail
store and I have a million good stories that I may someday sit here and write.
Anyways... we were delivering a big oversized stereo one day and there was a kid
running around the house, all the had on was a diaper, he was probably around 2
years old or so. I like giving the little ones attention to because they think
it's a HUGE deal for some reason... so I was talking to him when all of a sudden
he takes off his diaper, and starts peeing!!! All over the living room carpet!
It was soooo funny I had tears running down my face. I couldn't stop laughing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<<<<<<<<<<previous kidders
Got one? Type it up and
send
it in!