FRIDAY'S KIDDERS 9!

(Now comments free!)

Did you, your kid, or someone else's kid say something way embarrassing or stupid stuff by accident? Type it up and send it in!

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This just happened the other day:  my 6-year-old nephew and his mom (my
sis-in-law) were waiting for the school bus one morning, when a little
baby bunny hopped thru their yard and out into the street. 
Unfortunately, it got hit by a car... and my nephew was very
traumatized and crying.  Then he looked up at his mom and said
(referring to the driver of the car), "That guy was an asshole!"

-Jennifer

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As any parent can tell you, kids are ferocious mimics. It's how they learn language, something even the smartest computers today haven't mastered. It also teaches you to Watch Your Mouth around the little ones.
 
My (now ex) wife and I were running a little late one morning, where all the little things were coming together in the worst way at the worst time. Like a burnt-out light bulb in the shower that had to be replaced. Like the cat deciding this would be a good time to bring up a hairball on the couch. Like finding the sock drawer empty. Like realizing we'd forgotten to pack our 4-year old daughter's lunch the night before.
 
You know, one of those mornings.
 
So while my wife was downstairs throwing together some random edibles our toddler could tote to daycare in her Smurf lunchbox, I was upstairs getting the kid dressed. I have to say at this point that she was a beautiful child - not just in physical appearance, though she'd inherited her mom's blue eyes and abundant blonde hair - but she was a sweet little girl, in love with her kitty cat and her grampa and grampa's dog, and even the occasional toad, snake, or turtle I'd bring home for an afternoon of bonding. Just a lovely, angelic little girl. Any guy who's fathered a daughter knows where I'm coming from.
 
The gnomes of tardiness had left no stone unturned that morning, because all of her newest clothes were in the laundry hamper. Kids grow like weeds, and outgrow their clothes faster than caterpillars go through layers of skin. So I grabbed one of last month's models, a pullover turtleneck that was maybe a tad on the snug side, and whipped it over her head. "Lift your arms, Sweetie," I said, and ever the complaisant child, she did. I threaded her arms into the sleeves and worked the thing down onto her head before giving it a tug. It took a little straining, a little tugging and yanking to finally get the thing on her.
 
When her head finally popped up through the neck of the pullover, she was disheveled and a little nonplussed. "Jesus!" she said.
 
She got the intonation just right. It was a perfect "Jesus!" that would have fit in on any machine-shop floor in America. I stared at this little blue-eyed angel in amazement.
 
Must have got it from her mother, I thought.
 
-an old curmudgeon from N.H.

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So heres one from work.  I work at a rent to own retail store and I have a million good stories that I may someday sit here and write.  Anyways... we were delivering a big oversized stereo one day and there was a kid running around the house, all the had on was a diaper, he was probably around 2 years old or so.  I like giving the little ones attention to because they think it's a HUGE deal for some reason... so I was talking to him when all of a sudden he takes off his diaper, and starts peeing!!! All over the living room carpet! It was soooo funny I had tears running down my face.  I couldn't stop laughing. 

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