June 03 2010
So last night I got home and wrote a babbily boycotty rant about BP and their douchebag CEO– so if you’re not in the mood for this kind of thing today– don’t click onwards.
Jon wrote the comments section didn’t like it at all. He said he’s never coming back to my site because he thinks I turned into preachy juvenile liberal narcissistic stupid unfun dick now
Sooo… if you wanna do something fun instead! Play in the FunLink archive!
BTW, new Time.com toon next week! About the oil spill! (Not preachy and narcissistic though…)
As Americans, (or any people… hi foreigners!) we should all make sure that BP as a company seriously goes out of business. The company is a disgrace. A disgrace to Earth. Screw those guys. Oil companies are bad. I get that. But over the years, BP has been the worst of all. By far…
In 2005 they had an ‘accident’ and in 2007 they had an ‘accident’. They’re the arrogant drunk drivers of the oil world. If a drunk driver gets in a bunch of accidents we take away their license. BP have drunk driving (Beefeater bottle in hand) on American soil for years. They had like 760 OSHA violations— where as company like ExxonMobil had only one. 760 to 1? They make Exxon look good?
BP execs are reckless frauds.
But let’s put that aside. After this rig blew up (their fault) and killed 11 people– the families never got a proper apology for their loss. Not even a card. Nor did BP give America a proper apology for this disaster. They immediately started lying to our faces. Lying about the amount of oil spilling. Lying about having it under control. Lying about the toxic dispersant spray they used all willy nilly. (Safe as dishwashing liquid? What kind of lie is that?)
But let’s put all that aside too. Then they start trying to control our media? Banning our reporters? Trying to keep us from seeing the damage? The rate of the spill? Shoving us around? Dissing our EPA? (yes our government super sucked in this crisis. that’s a whole other thing.) But then BP goes on to put more workers in harms way while cleaning up after their mess? Denying that breathing in this crap is actually bad for people? Denying the claims of newly sick people? Not providing masks?
But putting that aside as well. Now we’re gonna have to watch them dick over all the hard working people in the Gulf? Watch BP screw over the workers by bogging everything down in legal land instead of decently throwing lots of money at their problems. Watch them continue to lie about the long term damage it’s caused on our shores. Watch them sidestep responsibilities. Watch them walk away after putting on window dressing…
BUT the thing that really motivated me to type today was that friggin Dudley Moore idiot CEO who is such an arrogant douchebag that the fact he hasn’t been way fired is a sure sign that BP has no intention of making right by us. As an act of good will they should have pantsed that guy for our pleasure. A simple bone. A sign of respect and understanding.
For that CEO guy to come out and say, “Nobody wants this thing over more than I do. Y’know I’d like my life back.” His life back? His life of yachts and hookers and prime grade scumbag dedouchery. Life back? Away from the disgusting mess? He’d like his life back? People died because of him.
And he said that AFTER multiple stupid-ass statements and rose-colored lies! So he was on his toes when he said that! He was watching his words when he blurted he’d like his life back! Rest assured, this dickhead is talking smack about us behind our backs non-stop. Rolling his eyes because he probably thinks Louisiana isnt worthy of his presence. The spill is only 40-something days old. He’s already sick of it? A sure sign he’s not in this for the long haul…
The fact that he wasn’t fired THAT DAY is a sure sign that BP has no intention on ever making this right. They never will. These a-holes will never come clean. That’s what really got me going to type all this. They’re not gonna fire that guy? After saying that? He’s actually doing more damage with his dumb dumb words!
And if BP survives as company– by spinning some sort of massive PR campaign and logo change– the disgrace will be on us. The humiliation will be on us. Allowing BP to continue to do business with us will be a sure sign of consumer defeat. I have to hope we all care more than that. They need to be punished. Maybe we can’t punish Wall Street for wrecking stuff– but we can punish these guys…
We gotta run them out of town. No matter how ‘nice’ and ‘green’ they appear to be one year from now. Or whenever they decide to change their mask and fire that mega-douche CEO scumbag and try to make good. They can’t recover. It’s too late.
(but let’s milk em for all the cash we can get first… shhh….).
Never filling up at a BP station ever is the least we can do. And it should be a clear message to all other oil companies– that we now mean business.
PS. I’d like my life back?
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.