So today I FINALLY mailed out all sorts of boxes and stuff. Long overdue prizes (Oscar contest winners, signed books, coffay mugs and other stuff.) I used shoeboxes to mail some of the stuff. I tried to mail this stuff earlier in the week but the local place was like insanely expensive. (I don’t want to ‘out’ the name of the place because it’s Mom & Pop and there’s a cute bunny rabbit inside) but just to mail a 2 lb. shoebox to Canada would have been $45! Just for that one box! The guy before me was mailing a single letter overnight to LA and it cost him over $50! It’s now officially ridiculous! All those mailbox stores are GIANT ripoffs and this time I put my foot down and carried all the boxes home….

And today, I headed to the US Post Office to mail stuff (btw a mile walk in 90 degree heat carrying boxes). I walk in (all sweaty) and wait on the line. When it’s finally my turn I put all my boxes down and the woman says, ‘You can’t mail those boxes with all the writing on it…’ I was like, ‘Huh?’ Apparently, the shoe boxes being covered with logos and shoe description text was a big no-no. She’s like, ‘You gotta cross all that writing out?’ Then she yells, ‘Next!’ …

I grumpily walk away with my shoeboxes and scan the room for a magic marker or something. Anything that can cross out. No magic marker. I go from chained ballpoint pen to chained ballpoint pen. They’re all out of ink. Ballpoint wouldn’t have done the job anyway. (BTW can we solve the bank/post office pen situation already!?! It’s enough with the out of ink pens ruining our lives everyday!)

Anyway, I find a big roll of red, white and blue Priority Mail tape and mummify the shoe boxes. Covering all the text. (Is it really so bad to have that text there btw?!) Also it made me crazy because I had to keep biting off the tape and it was getting stuck on my teeth then I couldn’t find the beginning again and I’d spin it and half-start it and totally tape nightmare. After a ten minute struggle, the boxes were text/logoless– totally smothered in red, white and blue Priority Mail tape.

Then I waited on line again and brought the boxes up to the counter again and the woman is like, ‘You can’t have all that Priority Mail tape on the box going to Canada. It ain’t shipping that way. You gotta cover that up.’ I was like, ‘But I just mummified! You can’t see any of the shoebox writing!’ She was like, ‘Gotta cover that Priority Mail tape up. It’ll confuse the box.’ I asked if she had any regular packing tape and she sold me some for $5.00– then yelled, ‘Next!’

Now I’m super pissed. I go and tape over the Priority Mail tape with brown packing tape and made sure it didn’t say ‘Priority Mail’ anywhere. (Btw at this point, this box looks like it might have a friggin bomb in it— all angrily taped up ripped up un-neat and stuff).

I get back to the window and the woman says, ‘I can’t ship that. I can still see red and blue colors all over it.’ (Literally steam shot out of my ears.) I was like, ‘But you can’t read the words Priority Mail anymore!’ She was like, ‘You can’t have those colors showing. It’ll confuse the package.’ I grabbed the box back and went nuts on it right in her face. Covered up every friggin bit of red/blue and it was finally accepted. If there was any doubt that it looked like a bomb before– I erased that doubt. (btw Box of Mystery winner in Canada— won’t be much of a mystery if you’re reading this. Don’t be scared. it’s not anthrax. (Is it illegal to joke about this btw?)

Anyway, the GOOD NEWS is that it cost me like $35 to mail out everything I was mailing! The Mailbox Bunny place wanted to charge me $40 just for the Canada box! The moral of the story is– certain Post Offices will make you friggin crazy… but for frucks sake the difference in price is seriously sticker shocking.

USA! USA!

ok bye!
tOdd

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