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MARCH 2006

3/31

Today I found out that the Main Injector Neutrino Oscillation Search (Minos) experiment came to the conclusion that Neutrinos actually do have mass! What are neutrinos? Well, nerd on TV told me that these things are so small they can pass through space, the atmosphere and the entire planet without messing with anything. So sciencenerds assumed for a while that they had no mass. But they do have mass! These neutrinos are everywhere! Look there goes one right now! Smush it!

I did a search for 'neutrinos suck' (just to see) and this came up first. What's going on out there?

3/30

Tonite I found out on the TV that a kids toy was recalled because it has small magnets that kids were eating or choking on or something. Now I'm glad they found out about this problem and are taking the toys off the market... but it's friggin 2006!! I would think if I ran a toy company and we were gonna produce a new toy-- the question before... Is it fun? or What colors does it come in? Is... Will this thing choke a kid or what? Isn't that question friggin #1?! WTF?

Here it is still for sale at Wal-mart. Does this thing look like a choking hazard or friggin what?

3/29

Today I seen on tv (besides Katharine get a wakeup call) that people are wearing DNA as jewelry. Basically if you want to remember your cat Whiskers you can take a toenail or stand of fur to this place and they 'extract' the DNA and shove it in this type of locket thing. It's great at parties if you wanna bring a conversation to a screeching halt and add some real creepy to the room. But who'll be laughing like a maniac when they perfect genetic cloning 100 years from now?! Your crazy genetically preserved born again zombie cat is who!

Read it three times. Still don't get it. Going to try smore...

3/28

So tonite on American Idol obviously my pick Katharine McPhee will be coasting on to next week as she is the next American Idol totally even though she's running a little cold right now. Overall, I do think Paris Bennett was the best one tonite because she put on the best show. I also felt like Bucky did a good job singing some country song. I'm getting sick of bald rocker guy and I'm sorry to say Lisa Tucker will be going home tomorrow night. That is all.

But to add salt to the wounds of people who hate American Idol...  here's her initial audition to mess with your ears.

3/27

Tonite I found out about some new scummy scam that's going around. Basically lowlife dickheads are calling people and saying they're calling from the 'local court' or whatever and they say there's a warrant for your arrest because you missed jury duty. You say you never got the summons and to 'clear it up' theyll ask for personal information like your social security number and credit card number for 'confirmation' or whatever. Figure I'd pass this along.

A cool way to handle it give them a fake numbers all super slow like, '5....6....3.....8......2......ummm......7......7.......7.......54.....3......A.......4.......wait let me start over.... 5.....6......3....8....2.....77......77...........7............777.........7.....

Sort of like this guy in this spelling bee but slower and more number orientateted.

3/25

Ok I totally slacked on daily facts over the weekend totally. Will get back on the stick and not miss one fact this whole week or everyone wins a million dollars!

Here's some fancy pants hollywood video site thingamajig.

3/24

Tonite on TV I saw that this privately funded company space exploration company named 'Space X' finally exploded their first rocket after years of delays and millions of dollars spent. Unfortunately the issue was the rocket wasn't supposed to splode, it was supposed to go out in space-- but soon after it left the launchpad it baboomed and that was that. Totally sucks. I like private space exploration ideas. I wanna see some aliens!!!!

Check out this Vintage Boba Fett Firing Rocket Prototype AFA 85. And here's a rocketman goonball. And imagine having these dudes as neighbors?

3/23

Sorry no fact yesterday. I totally spaced on doing it and then I remembered and then I spaced on it again and then once more after that.

Awesome fact later today totally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the first thing that came up 'awesome fact' googling.

3/22

Today TV told me that Microsoft has postponed the release of their new operating system called 'Vista'. First off, bad name. Second off, why am I getting the feeling that this operating system is gonna be some sort of Daikatana-esque disast-OS?

Or even worse... a Duke Nukem Forever? 

I thought I was bad with MepWars! (achem... yes, currently in production. update on status soon.)

3/21

Tonite I found out that those anti-bacterial gels might not be so great. They said using that goop might keep people from building up proper anti-bodies and also it might be encouraging growth of supergerms and stuff. And if there are super germs we actually might really need the anti-bacteria gels in real life down the road. When the anti-bacteria gel people were contacted about that, they said, 'Yeah. Exactly. Cool, right?'

Here's a totally off topic question. If William becomes King of England could he actually over rule Parliament on stuff. Like if Parliament voted to bomb Spain could the King step in and say no? And if he can't say no.. is that really a king? How's that work? Post here if you know. Thanks!

3/20

Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. I'm a floog.

But today I found out something about Afghanistan. Apparently some dude got busted carrying something around and now he's on trial and facing the death sentence. The thing that he was carrying around... was a bible. See this afghan guy converted from Islam to Christianity and it's umm... sort of illegal to be Christian in Afghanistan right now... or something.... ummm... wtf?

Here's more info on that situation.

Since the start of the war, it seems the only thing almost everyone seems to agree on--

is that this guy...

 ...is an asshole.

3/18

Yesterday TV told me that the mars rover is sort of konking out out on mars finally. It's kind of amazing that it's been cruising around for years now looking at all the rocks and going up 'ridges' and stuff. TV told me it now has a flat tire or something and the whole thing eventually will just be totaled. NASA don't know what will happen after that but apparently some backwoods martian who likes projects might tow it to his front yard, put it on up blocks and tinker with it on and off for the next five years before pushing it into a lake...

Here's a bunch of 'redneck' photos...

3/17

Tonite I found out that the rhinos in Borneo are in big trouble. Apparently dudes have been way busy shooting rhinos because people are scamming rich losers by telling them eating a rhino horn gives them a bigger boner or whatever. I guess 100 years ago people looking for a boner might go in on stuff like that. But when there's viagra and cialis and bonerizer tablets or whatever is it really necessary to shoot a friggin rhino in the 21st century? Imagine how pissed rhinos are when they get to rhino heaven and they're like... 'Wait, some schmuck shot me because why? Their friggin boner?'

I didn't even know stuff like this is still going on. Ug. (Plus if there's 100% chance of winning is it really a sport?)

3/16

Hey sorry no daily fact yesterday. I really didn't watch much TV. I did some flipping around but TV seemed as stale as croutons.

She hates croutons.

3/15

So I seen today that locusts are apparently really very good at not crashing into things. I guess when you're all swarming all the time locusts gotta make sure they stay alert and don't fly into each other or birds or a tree or whatever. So Volvo has been checking into what locusts know about preventing crashes. One way they're doing it is sitting locusts down and showing them Star Wars movies to see if/how they react way early to upcoming X-Wing smashies or whatever. Sounds like Volvo scientists snuck watching movies at work thru the system...

Star Wars weddings! Here! Here! And Here!

3/14

The news guy just told me that the Plaza Hotel is having some sort of going out of business flea market garage sale and auctioning off historical junk from the hotel. Like couches and meat slice carts and a whole wood bar or some bed that 10,000 rich people have banged on or whatever. Not sure who goes in on stuff like this or what. But I guess if you like hotels and have extra cash, you can throw something in some room that you can point at and talk about....

I mean what do you do with a bunch of bronze barstools that's loaded with like 50 years of martini farts?

3/13

TV told me tonight that rats and squirrels are doing sex and producing offspring called  'rat-squirrels'. It was a little disturbing to visualize rats doing it with squirrels. It just seems like the squirrels wouldn't be into it. But then maybe it's those squirrels that like running with a bad crowd and being rebels and smoking cigarettes in the sewer or whatever. Could be. Or maybe the rats are trying to fit in with the high falutin above-ground squirrel lifestyle by like cleaning themselves up and pretending they're smooth sexy foreigners or something. In any case, science nerds can do better than calling the offspring 'rat-squirrel' that's the friggin laziest combo name ever.

This guy might have spotted one in Malaysia.

3/11

So TV told me today that they discovered another 'never before seen' creature. A weird furry lobster thing. The guy on TV reported that they're not even sure the creature is "from this planet". Apparently it lacks any genetic coding and has bizarre defense mechanisms-- and has raised alarms for NASA scientists. I'm not sure why this isn't a bigger story...

Here's a link with more info.

3/10

Today I watched a nerdling talk about how they probably found water on Saturn's moon and because there might be water there that means there might be life there. (that's alot of there's). I'm sort of hoping there isn't water there to be honest. Because if they discover life up there and it turns out to be some parameciumy thingee swimming around in muck it would be a total bummer. For our first E.Ts! I want real aliens! With blasty lasers! And cool uniforms! And threatening! With weird traditions! Not some wormy thing that looks no weirder than the stuff they find in our own oceans! Ok maybe I'm being spacebratty...  forget that.

But dags any of these globsters would be better than some microgloopy gloop gloops!

3/9

So no fact yesterday. I totally was spaced out. But I did watch Trya Banks Show. I like Trya. And found out that she just hired Mikeala (remember that annoying chick from last season American Idol?) to be like a correspondent on the Trya Show. They had a bunch of other Idols on too and they all seem to be doing stuff and stuff which I guess was coolio to see for better or worse...

Here's some idol chatter..

3/8

So TV told me that Microsoft is starting to wake up after being dead asleep for like three years now. They're launching some new search engine called Live (bout time)  and some new mystery project called Origami Project which supposedly is some super portable computer as big as a paperback book or something. Great. Yippee. Hey! Computer companies! Here's a clue! Stop working on functionality and adding features! We got functionality and features up the yang yang! Do us all a favor! Put that effort into extending friggin battery life! If you wanna make us happy, it's about the battery, stupids! Dags!

Man, do I have to fix everything! Ok fine! Here's how you fix your dead pixel!

3/7

Ok I gotta admit my girl on Idol did get slightly on my nerves tonite because she seemed a little carried away with herself. She shouldn't even link herself to Constantine. She's gotta dial it down a notch or two. I thought the whole show was a little off tonite. I suspect Seacrest was slightly drunk (what happened to seacrest out?) and Simon seemed a little bored. (shark jumping waters) But whatever! It's the best show on the tele (until sunday hopefully) and there's nothing stopping Katharine McPhee from being the next American Idol!!!!!!

Katharine's mom should be vicariously psyched about that...

3/6

Today I watched some science show that was talking about aluminum being a possible cause of Alzheimer's. I've heard this before but seeing it on tv made me paranoid all over again. Nerd on tv said that deodorants with aluminum might be the link to alzheimers because the aluminum gets all in your head and wraps your medulla synapses in tinfoil or something. In any case, my deodorant makes me feel weird now and I've decided to take the plunge into no-aluminum deodorant for now on-- to at least get one dollop of paranoia out of my head.

Here's some more stuff about that. Join me in the speed stick conspiracy!

**Here's some feedback regarding my deodorant paranoia

3/5

So tonight I watched the Oscars and they were boring. Jon Stewart was kind of disappointing and sort of dorked it (Night of a Thousand Sweatpants?) And there wasn't enough boobage. And there didn't seem to be alot of celebrities there. And Crash won best picture which was weird. And there wasn't one really passionate or quality speech. And there were too many historic montages that made no sense. And The Clooney is a big dickhead. And there were no big applauses for any dead people. On the whole I give him a C. (Already forgiven tho and i did like the video funnies.)

How bout you?

3/4

Sorry no daily fact yesterday and today. Today was an extra off day. I tipped over milk in the fridge and it spilled all down in there! And I locked myself out (landlord was home)! There were no movies to see! Again! I really pushed myself to go see Ultraviolet tonight but I just couldn't ignore this mess! So I stayed in and ordered chinese food and took Lord of War off the pay-per-view. (I want my two hours back. What a joke. 2 cookies.) On top of it, my chinese food tasted like someone sprayed pledge all over it and I couldn't eat it all cause I thought it tasted like poison lemon zinger. So I'm just gonna write off today, shut off Showtime at the Apollo, climb in bed, and start anew tomorrow...

I have a nice fortune cookie fortune taped on my monitor which comes in handy after days like today. It says, 'Welcome each day as a fresh new beginning.' It's been taped up there for years. So that's what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Here's some online fortunes.

3/2

So TV showed me some weird phenomanono that blasts down from the sky but nobody really ever gets to see it happen because it happens so fast. I couldn't understand what the science guy said when he explained what they are.  They're called sprites. Some sort of electric dumping from a cloud or overload type situation that makes scary blasty go bang bang... or something.

Here's a super quickie video of a sprite attack.

3/1

Tonite I watched something gross and it made me feel bad for red snappers (the fish). Apparently there's some new parasite that is really screwing them over horribly. See these parasites get in the snappers mouth and attach themselves to the snapper's tongue (who knew fish had tongues?) and the parasite basically feeds off the tongue it until the tongue is gone. Then it replaces the tongue and actually functions as the tongue while eating food particles as they come in. Like a tongue that actually eats. Bleh! Snappers got it way rough with this thing. Mother Nature is friggin disgusting sometimes.

Ready to gag?

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