DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV
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MARCH 2007

3/30

Tonight I found out that geeks are busy developing a new kind of browser (called the A-Browser) to help out blind people when they surf the net. I guess there are already ways for blind people to go around and look at stuff at certain sites-- but when it comes down to audio or video stuff they've been out of luck. They can't even see the buttons and stuff. This new browser solves that problem and when a video plays there can be descriptive audio to go along with it. Like let's say the video is someone getting hit in the nuts. The audio will say 'Now this dude gets hit in the nuts!!!' And then they hear the whump! And the uhggg.... And get a laugh like the rest of us who laugh at nut hit dopes.

Not sure how it would handle this though.(I like the green guy best...)

Bring this show to America and do it with celebrities. Done and done. "Hit" show. Check please...

3/29

TV told me this morning that scientists are still busy trying to figure out new geeky ways to look cool. <coughcontradiction?> They're busy developing sunglasses that can change color automatically. There's new sunglasses coming with like a dial on the side to change the color of the lenses. The settings range from poseur purple to wannabee yellow to tool turquoise to penis peach!

I get the feeling these peeps will be the first on line.

3/28

Ok. Maybe I was wrong again about Idol. I was only one off!!! Ok. I'm 1 for 2. But it's been an off year for Idol totally! It's running on the rims or something! So fine! I just have to adjust my mindset and I'll be going 9 for 9 or whatevers left for an excellent winning record! So there! However I do have an arch-enemy officially.... Blake.

Here's a link to the "Blaker Girls". Uch... I don't like the Blake.

3/27

So last night I saw them talking about how they're busy figuring out how to clone beef to make sure all steaks taste like super good or something. Apparently sometimes steak tastes good and sometimes not so good so they want to take the guess work out for all of us. And turn steak into like McDonalds consistency or whatever.

Here's a nice cow that looks like it's doing the morning 'walk of shame.'

PS. Here's my official American Idol go-home prediction! (Currently I'm 1 for 1*) The person going home tonight.... is (GUARANTEED) is...... HALEY SCARNATO! (sorry Haley)

3/26

Today I found out that Taiwan is doing something really nice for butterflies. Basically there's some kind of butterfly migration that goes on ever year and the butterflies cross over a big highway and get splatted all over windshields or whatever. So they're closing one lane of the highway to slow traffic way down and they're setting up some sort of ultra-violet light situation to help guide the butterflies. Makes me sort of weepy when whole countries are nice to butterflies...

Here's smore info bout that migration...

3/24

Today the TV told me that the French space agency launched some website that posts alot of 'top secret' (or as they say in France "TŔpp eete") info about UFO's. Apparently they've decided to go public with blurry photos and statements from frenchie loons who have been abducted (or as they say in France ďūķţėď) and post all that stuff online. I tried to get on the site but it's already down. Give it a shot! Absolute proof that there may or may not be aliens!

Here's the link...

3/23

I seen on the TV that some guy decided to paint 'The Last Supper' but with dogs like dogs playing poker kind of dogs but as Jesus and the gang. And now there's a whole local swarm of people all pissed at him for being sacrilege or whatever. It seems like once a year there's one piece of art that whacks the hive. I guess this one is it. Last year it was Hitler as Santa or something... Goofy artists...

Here's the (cough) colorful painting in the flesh... or canvas... or whatever.

3/22

Today the news told me that space nerds have developed this new fancy schmancy telescope that allows them to really analyze the sun better than they ever could before. They can see how solar activity affects Earth and help see if the sun's flare ups might cause problems on earth and stuff like that. The weird part is with this new super telescope they think they may have spotted 'life or life-like beings' living on the sun.

Possibly even intelligent life or whatever.

Not sure why this isn't like a bigger story blah blah...
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/space/03/21/sun.images.reut/index.html

3/21

I can admit it when I am wrong. I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. And yes I was wrong about Idol yesterday. I am big enough to admit I was wrong. Sure I could go back and change my prediction and cheat and deny that I ever got it wrong. But I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to accept the fact that I'm going 11/12 in my guessing and that will be that. Fine. Yes I'm an Idol dork.

Check out these dorky clothes by Sarah Jessica Parker...

3/20

OK! Time for my second 'Guess who's going home on Idol?' prediction. This week? Phil Stacey. It's time to pack your stuff Phil. Nice work. But you're heading home tonight and I will be 2/2*. Phil and Stacey? Sounds like a sitcom. Sorry. Phil peaked about four weeks ago...

Todd peaked around 1960.

3/19

Last night I heard about some study that concluded that people who are really into racing video games alot are more prone to drive reckless and fast in real life. The study also concluded that people who walk outside in the rain are more inclined to get wet than people who are inside. They also found out that people who yell in public are more likely to be noticed than cat sitting in a window.

It's still winter! Do some snowmobile racing!

3/18

Today I found out that video slot machines are about to get all techno-ed up extra. Beyond just video display the new slots will be able to do fancy things like make things look all hawaiian if a Beach Boys song plays in the casino. Or if some super bonus round happens, the whole look to the machine will morph and the main video screen becomes extra interactive. Or a penny slot machine can be upped to a nickel or a quarter at any time. All hooked up to a main master computer! I think slot jockey old ladies will definitely hate them... but hackers might get a kick out of em...

Here's the first 'slot' machine...

3/17

So I done lernt about pigeons. Found out there are lots of different kinds of pigeons. Found out there are pigeon contest. Pigeon races. Pigeon breeding. Pigeon pets. Also found out that there's a pigeon out there that never learned to fly. It just walks and rolls around. They're called 'Parlour Roller Pigeons' because back in the day people would bring them into their 'parlour' and watch the birds do stupid stuff... obviously a pre-tv world.

Here's a gallery of pigeon lofts...

3/16

Apologies for the lack of factazoid for March 16th. I didn't expect March 16th to be a no fact date nor would I have ever predicted that March 16th would be a no fact date but here it was March 16th and no fact! I apologize to all people who have a stake or special interest in March 16th and promise that the next March 16th I will have a super special March 16th fact...

I don't know what to make of This Knuth.... 3:16

3/15

Today TV told me that things just got a little easier for heroes. If some dude collapses in front of you, you might feel the urge to run over and start doing mouth-to-mouth.... or more likely you won't feel the urge to run over and start doing mouth-to-mouth. Now they're saying that mouth-to-mouth might be overrated and not all that big of a help. And that chest pumps might be enough until 'real' help arrives. Which is coolio! The whole mouth-to-mouth thing always seemed a little extreme... I mean who wants some half-deader throwing up in their mouth? Not it!

Here's smore info bout that. And here's how you do CPR on a bird.

3/14

I'M SO PISSED! It was just pointed out to me that after all my bragging yesterday about how I was gonna pick a winner each week that I neglected to mention who I was picking to get kicked off THIS week. I know people will say I'm a liar or whatever but I swear on everything that the guy who got kicked off tonight (I already forgot his name) WAS the guy who I picked to get kicked off!! I swear! I was all psyched to hear who got kicked off because I was all 1 for 1! But I didn't list it. So take my word. I was right this week. And I'll be right for the next 11 as well...

That is all. Sorry to people who could care less aboot Idol. Wanna see something cool?

3/13

So tonight begins the new bragging about American Idol. Every Wednesday if you check in here I will tell you who is getting kicked off the show. I will go 12 for 12 in these predictions and I will brag my ass off about my correctness weekly. The bragging will get more extreme week by week increasing in bragnicity until I am typing in all caps and bold rubbing my American Idol kick-off prowness in all doubters faces. Thank you.

Here are the AI Odds. Not sure what the numbers mean or whatever...

PS. I heard an interview with Sundance and he claims that one of the guys walk around backstage like a real dick acting like they have the whole thing locked up and he's all arrogant jerk dickhead. He wouldn't say who. But I'm thinking it's the beatbox tool.

3/12

Today I found out that people are mad at Nike because they made some ugly sneakers made out of alligator skin. Because apparently alligators are treated really badly when people rip their skin off. The sneakers also have 14-carat gold laces. And they were produced to celebrate the anniversary of Air Force 1 sneakers. Dopes are paying $2700 for these sneakers which will be unwearable without embarrassment four months from now.

Here's a video of the making of the Nike shoes (I guess the edited out the part where they hit the nice alligator on the head then rip his skin off...)

ebay auction here too...

3/11

So today TV told me that subliminal advertising actually works. Some sciencey geeks geeked out doing the scanning a brain and looking at brain colors to see if things go flashy flashy when something subliminatoryness is shown. And sure enough, when they showed a subliminal message to the brain owner, the colors go flashy in a certain area of the brain. So the brain seems to see it ---even if the brain owner doesn't...

Ever been watching Iron Chef and get a hankering for a Big Mac?

3/10

Today I found out that since 9/11 the government has spent like five billion dollars to make sure we're all safer against bioterror attacks. Which seemed coolio. But they just did a survey on our 'preparededness'-- and apparently all that money for training and preparation adds up to the equivalent of these three steps in the event of an attack. 

1. Have a police car speed through the middle of town blowing an airhorn out the window.
2. Advise all locals to run away from "air you can see".
3. Insist all people within three mile radius of the attack avoid contact with anything (including all physical objects, personal hands, and the floor) for at least sixty days.

Sacks of money out the window... again... sigh. Unaccounted for and gone. I guess we're on our own, kids.

3/9

Sorry no daily factoid yesterday. I think I'm extra bad on Friday's. But I think I watched TV in my head last night while I was asleep and I think there was a talk show starring a horse with lobster claws... or something.

Here's the poetry journal from arsenic lobster...

3/8

OK my Idol pick this year (Jared Kotter? What the hell was I thinking?) was a total fiasco. I can admit that I'm wrong sometimes! I've been wrong maybe four or five times in the past year or so! Ok wait...  make that four. Whatever. Actually two of those are debatable really depending on a couple things. So I can argue it's only two. But definitely two! I've been wrong about two things! In the past year or so! One was Jared Kotter.

But I found out tonight I'm a new expert in something else! Picking who is going home. I picked Sundance to go home (swear) and Annabella Sciorra wet t-shirt girl (not gettable enough). So for the rest of Idol I will be picking who will be going home week to week... and I ain't missing. It's like playing the dark side of Idol. Check back here every Wednesday for my picks for who's walking. It'll be more fun. Because LaKisha can't lose...

Here's Annabella Sciorra going home girl in her wet t-shirt. NSFW. If you ain't seen...

3/7

TV news told me today that China is all gearing up to have a man walk on the moon. They claim within 15 years they'll be able to shoot someone off into space and have that dude walk around on the moon. I guess that sounds coolio. But I kind of don't get why stuff takes friggin 15 years. I mean feel like if I decided to build a rocket to the moon and really worked really hard everyday on it (no procrastination or nothing) and downloaded like instructions from the interwebs and realllly like followed them to a tee. No leftover parts or nothing. I could build a rocket to the moon within two years... with a sidecar for Roscoe. First dog in space!!

Oh. What? There's already been a bunch of dogs in space... ok well first.... ummm... First dog from Brooklyn who is missing a backtooth! In space!!

Here's dogs in space...

3/6

So tonight I found out that NASA really wants to throw money at finding 'killer asteroids' (aka PEDs - Paranoia Earth Destroyahs) but there's no money to fund the research to find out which of the 20,000+ potential killers out there really might have it in for Earth. (Wernt we supposed to go to Mars soon or something?) NASA told people not to worry about it because it is a fact that unless an asteroid lands directly on your head-- it cannot hurt you. That's 100% true (on the opposite opposite opposite day... I think.)

Here's a list of names of a whole lot of asteroids. I simply don't trust the Gamow asteroid.

3/5

So I found out that Commodore (from Commodore 64 fame) is ready to jump back into the computer world with a line of PCs designed for gamers. I guess that seems like a good move for Commodore... but then again if they've apparently been able to stay in business for the past 25 years without producing, marketing or selling one friggin thing (as far as I can tell)... maybe they should leave well enough alone.

Here's a Commodore 64 java type emulator featuring lots of terrible games!

3/4

So tonite some guy on tv told me that America is sort of financially f*kt in real life. I know we always hear stuff about social security and medicare and all that and how America is gonna be broke and stuff. But this guy is like screaming his head off that we are SUPER out of control with spending and financial promises. Talking about the whole country actually going bankrupt! In real life! Uh oh! Spaghettio! Usually I can write stuff like that off pretty easy as some wacked numberical hype stuff... but umm...  the guy who's screaming his head off...

... is this guy!

3/3

A nerd told me today that we continue to doom ourselves by making robots better and better. Now we have a walking robot that can learn from it's mistakes so it doesn't fall over and stuff. Previous 'walking' robots are programmed to do all their movements. This one will be able to adapt on it's own so it doesn't bump into things or fall over or murder a fellow robot instead of a human or whatever. The robot is called "Dexter" to humans (to itself Destroy Everything X-tremey Till Everywhere (only) Robots)

GAZE UPON YOUR FUTURE MASTER PITIFUL HUMANS!!!

3/2

Flaked on the factoid yesterday. I was thrown off taking care of Roscoe after he got back from the vet. He was so out of it yesterday he peed while he was asleep. It was really sad. He looked embarrassed. But today he's much better. Woke me up with licks and stuff. Excellente factoid coming later today...

3/1

Sorry I missed daily facting yesterday. Was out and about for most of the day but I'm sitting here watching the Today Show today and I found out that the girl who had the crazy hiccups (watch that if you haven't seen. no longer sad! only funny!) for five weeks has finally stopped hiccupping. How'd she make them stop? Umm... they just stopped on their own. I was gonna say someone shoot surprise her and shoot her in the shoulder with a dart...

Here's some kooky hiccup remedies...

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