DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV
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5/30

I do not know a John and Kate. I do not need them early or late. I won't have interest in a later date. They keep pushing them and that I hate. I have more interest in Han and Nate. If they went away I'd say great. There is no reason to debate. I've had enough of John and Kate.

Mommy musings on hate for Kate.

5/29

So yesterday on the TV I saw something on Bizarre Foods that seemed sort of coolio. There's this dish that they serve down at fairs in Texas. It's called 'Fire and Ice'. It's like fried pineapple or something that has like liquid nitrogen sprayed all over it (which doesn't sound edible really but whatever I guess it ain't killin anyone...) But the fun part is when you eat it you blow like cold ice smoke out of your nose and it freezes your brain or whatever.

Here's it listed in a contest along with some other deep-fried chompables...

5/28

I CALL BALL DROP! ON 5/28! <WHISTLE> BALL DROP!

Here's 20 years of ball drops...

5/27

Today some cable news economic douche told me that TimeWarner plans to split off AOL as a separate independent company (aka shove it off on an ice floe and walk away). They feel it can really live up to its full potential if it was on its own. I'm not sure why AOL just can't rename itself 'You Got Mail' because from everyone I know who's still on AOL. That's the only hook they have left. Just be friggin a mailbox already and get it overwith. Need a new business model? Compete with gmail. Allow attachments up to 1GB and unlimited storage. There's your new model. Make a go of it...

Even the AOL Sucks site... sucks.

5/26

So today I was watching the new show on A&E called 'Obsessed' about people with OCD and stuff. And this one lady had issues with setting her alarm clock. AM/PM nervousness is it on or is it not on checking checking checking and doublechecking etc. I sort of had that problem too for a while with my old alarm clock. It's confusing for people who suck at math and go to sleep around midnight or later. BUT I haven't had that issue since I drastically changed my alarm clock away from digital.

To this. Love this alarm clock. Recommend it! Never fails! Simple to use! And no this isn't an ad. (Warning: The wake up beeping is a little annoying... but that's good too!)

5/25

Howdy! Welcome back to daily facts!

Here's something I learned over the weekend from some show about wine. They lady told me the difference between Shiraz and Syrah wine. Lady told me that there's no real difference between the two because they're from the same grape. But they're grown in different areas. Like Shiraz is for wine from Australia and Syrah is from wherever else or something.

Anyway, it's one of those things that might come in handy at a cocktail party... as long as it doesn't lead into a conversation with the one prick dude who gets excited 'because it's so nice to meet someone else who knows about wine!' and grills you on stuff and you flounder around on answers before admitting you learned your one interesting wine fact on a dopey website from some guy who learned it while watching a tv show he probably wouldn't have watched if he knew where the remote control was...

This wine guy is kinda fun to watch...

5/21

Today some yenta told me 'How to Shop for a Husband'. Basically she wanted to nab a guy or whatever so she treated the whole thing like 'shopping' (aka Idea for a Book). She says when you go out and do stuff you shouldn't go to the spa or shop in a women's store. You should go to where guys hang out. Like, the Apple Store or whatever. I dunno last time I went to the Apple Store it was a loud mobscene that smelled like BO. She also said you should go on a fly fishing trip to hook a guy...

Here's top ten dating tips...

5/20

Today I got disappointing news from NASA again. They've achieved the goal of allowing astronauts to drink their own recycled urine. Apparently it's a big accomplishment that dudes can whizz in the toilet and then drink it later. It's the first step to long term space flights to like the Milky Way or whatever. Not Warp Drive. Not weapons on spacecraft. No android co-pilots. Not even doors that open on their own. We still got hatches with big handles.... and urine drinking.

I guess the universe is sorta bigg-ish...

5/19

So last night on Idol there was a bunch of things that annoyed me. 1. Kara Guarini and her terrible song. 2. Seacrust kept calling Adam Lambert "Adam Lamberts". 3. Paula was too greened out in her greenery. 4. Simon Fuller made bad song picks. 5. The obviousness that Kris Allen is totally winning. 6. When Carrie Underwood sings Home Sweet Home she doesn't sing 'just one more night...' She doesn't hit the 'night' rockstar style at all. 7. Umm... that's it for Idol for now.

Here's a post-Idol press conference. Talking about the terrible Kara song etc. Adam sidestepping gay thing sorta etc..

5/18

Today I found out a bunch of kids decided to do an experiment where they gave up their cellphones, ipods, tv, computers, texting whatever all that stuff. Just to see what would happen. By the end of the ten days, most of the kids felt better. Claimed they were at peace. And more relaxed. But three of the kids ended up in a 'zombie like state' and ran around hungering for 'cat flesh' and 'horse tails'. One drove a car into a mailbox. And another one became a samurai on a ferris wheel.

Here's interviews with those teens.

5/17

Ok! I've been totally dropping the ball here! But I'm putting a stop to that this week! For realzers! Got lots of shows to catchup on on tivo and got lots of time to do that catchup! I just added Desperate Housewives of New Jersey to the mix which I'm pretty psyched about! Got Idol finale! New Interventions! And some new show about OCD which I think I'm gonna have to watch. Called Obsession. <<Here's the page on their site!

But if you're still bored here's a link to some unique toilet seats.

5/14

Last night on Bizarre Foods I seen that down in Australia all Australians follow around Emus and wait for emus to go doody and after they go doody sometimes there's like some like fruit in there or something and they eat the fruit out of the doody. They said that most Australians spend most days following around emus waiting for them to go doody or something. They said this may be a main reason that Australia has a bad economy because everyone in the whole country never works. They just follow around emus...*

Here's more info on Quandongs.

*not 100% true

5/13

Ok sorry for the back to back Idol posts but I gotta reiterate how much Kara Guarani needs to go home. I don't like her tone. She looks angry on the inside too much. When she fawns all over people it carries no weight. Her criticism is usually off. And on top of everything else she strikes me as the person who is used to being Queen Bee but can't stand the reality that when you take the four judges and place them in order-- she comes in 5th place. Gotta kick her to the curb and replace her with Paris Hilton. That would be huuuge...

Kara could take tips from these two if she wants to improve...

5/12

So I watched Idol last night and was psyched because I put sidebet money on Kris Allen to win. My theory is alot of people can't stand the Lambert squeal and tongue out face like he's making a rough dookie or something. And Gokey looks like the guy who crashes into your car or something. I dunno. Anyway, $35 on Kris to win! Bring it on you Mayer wannabe!

Here he goes going for the win...

5/11

Today the morning news TV told me about this new thing called Computertan.com. Basically you can sit infront of your computer and get a tan! Just like that UV rays through your monitor. Tan while at work! Or while in the coffay shop with your laptop! Sounds like a scam or something bs or whatever!

It is!

5/10

So today the newsperson told me that that face transplant woman has forgiven her husband (or ex-husband... I assume) for shooting her in the face. I dunno. I guess forgiveness is the proper way to handle bad stuff in most cases. But if I (godforbid) needed a face transplant because of some dude shot me in the face. I'm not so sure I'd be down with the forgiveness. In fact, I'm thinking the second I got out of the hospital I'd be looking for the dude who shot me in the face to shoot them in the face and we could be like some bad episode of Face-Off except that was a movie and the episode wouldn't be that great because there'd be no face swap fun situation because that's not how all that works and stuff...

This place does cryonics.

5/7

Today some nerd on the news told me that Star Trek style 'Warp Drive' is actually possible! There's research into space/time or whatever and they say that it's scientifically realistic. The nerd seemed excited about it-- completely oblivious to the fact that building a spaceship that can travel at warp speed is like super never happening. In 50 years all we've able to accomplish is one fake moon landing and building one type of spaceship that's the equivalent of a space family truckster. And a couple of those sploded up...

Here's NASAs take on warp drive...

5/6

Yesterday I found out that there's a male contraceptive in the works. Dudes can get a shot in the arm and it makes you all temporarily nonspermed or something. For like 6 months. Then things get back to normal. Side effects are limited to headaches, nausea, compulsive masturbation, drooling, loogying, night screams, sleep jogging, warfare, rapid nail growing, penis shrinkage, buttockal explosions, and itchy butt.

Here's the top ten worst condoms.

5/5

This morning I seen on the Today Show the world's oldest dog. Apparently today is her birthday. She's 20 years old which according to my math means she's 479 years old in human years. She has to wear googles for some reason which doesn't seem legit. But whatever. Still cute. And super old. I showed it to Roscoe so he has a goal to shoot for down the road. Here's Chanel:

Still got a ways to go to beat the world's oldest tortoise... and world's oldest lobster....

5/4

No daily fact today. I ended up getting caught up in True Blood reruns last night. But promise I'll watch some TV today! In the meantime here's something to lookat...

5/3

Today morning news wacks told me that Apple is having a hard time deciding what can be approved for iPhones and what is 'offensive'. Apps like iBabyShaker and iSlasher (a knife and you make stab motion and it screams) and of course the wonderful iBoobs was considered too rude or something. But they're getting a little to uptight about it too. There's one app called 'Booty Caller' which like spins a rolodex of names and stops on one for the booty call... I once again say that Apple is falls on the feminine side.

Here's some dorks playing Russian Roulette (always sorta chilling in any form) with the iPhone. (Spoiler Alert: Surprise the "gun" really fires. Special effects etc.. Oh no! haha?)

 

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