Bug Hunt Conflict
So I traveled out of the city today to my brother's house and hung out with my nephews. As soon as I got there the older nephew (4 3/4) was like, 'Uncle Ta! C'mon! C'mon! We're gonna get some bugs!' He had just gotten a new bug jar and was psyched up. So within five minutes of being there I found myself in the backyard turning over rocks and leaves looking for bugs. I flip over this big rock and underneath are all these like gross beetles. And my nephew is like, 'Get one! Get one Uncle Ta!'
Here's the problem. I have a fear of bugs. It's not anything crazy But bugs freak me out. Spiders don't bother me so much and flies are whatever. But it's the crawly ones. The roaches and beetles of the world. All those legs. And weird heads. I think they want to crawl in my ears. I think they're too organized. I think they have a plan. I think they're gross.
Anyway, the beetles are scrambling so I ask my nephew for the jar but he doesn't want to give up the jar. He just wants me to 'get one'. The jar was his job. My job was to get a bug. I look down at the gross black beetles all crawly leggy scrambly. And I look at him and give him a look like 'Ew. I don't want to touch them.' And he looks back at me like, 'You're not like actually afraid of the bugs.... are you Uncle Ta?'
I thought about the idea of having a bug inbetween my cupped palms all trying to get out poking through my fingers all tickily tickily was just too much for me. It was above and beyond and I wasn't going there. I couldn't go there. But I didn't want to make him think bugs are bad. I mean if I show that I think something is wrong with them then something must be wrong with them. And then he'd think something is wrong with them. And maybe someone did that to me when I was 4 and that's why I don't like bugs now. So I got the idea of getting a stick and having it crawl on the stick and I shook it into the jar as fast as I could- and he closed the lid. I felt real smart about my stick idea.
I asked him what he was going to do with the bug and he told me that he was going to make bug soup. I told him that I don't think he'd like bug soup. He said, 'I'm not eating it. You are.'