Iced Coff-ay Assault
So lately I've been going around the corner to get iced coff-ay every morning. I buy two and put one in the fridge for later. It's like the same routine everyday. I wander out with my cutoff sweatpants, tshirt and flipflops. Order the two iced coffays at the place. Then ask them to put more ice in both because they go light on the ice. I guess I'm not that memorable because I'm the same friggin guy every morning asking for more ice but they never seem to remember. Anyway, then I turn around and put in milk and sugar from the stuff on the counter.
Now at this point I could turn back around and ask for a bag but I like never do. I'm literally a half a block away and figure I can carry two cups a half a block without a bag. Not sure why I feel this way because there are a good amount of obstacles. Like the sidewalk on my block is all like bumpy and ridgey. It's not like a Manhattan sidewalk. It's like made up of different slates that get like pushed around in urban tectonic shifts or whatever. So it's all sorts of uneven. Also when I get to the front door I stack one coffay on top of the other while I get my keys out and do this whole other balancing act while opening the door. But whatever I still feel like getting a bag would be wimpy somehow or something. Or maybe I'm just lazy... or stupid.
Anyway, today I was walking along with my two iced coff-ays and I caught a flipflip toe on one of the sidewalk slates and almost went down. In my lurch forward one of my iced coffays slipped from my hand and launched at someone who was walking up the block. It hit the ground in front of her splattering all over the street. It wasn't a huge stumble and I didn't fall down- so when we made eye contact I was sort of just standing there. She kinda half gave me a 'Did you just frickin huck an iced coffay at me!?' look. And I like gave her a dopey smile and apologized. She seemed a little put-off.
So here I sit typing this with my one iced coffay kinda bummed because my routine is broken. I always have two. Today just one. I'm already feeling sleepy. But on second thought maybe it's time I started a brand new routine and bit the bullet and got a wimpy bag to make life a little easier.