The Luck of the Snort
So today I wandered down the street to get me a veggie delite sandwich (like Jared) because my face is all big again and I don't like that. I got that chin neck blurriness going. As I walked toward the door to the Subway I see three chicks heading toward the door from the other direction. Although I could have probably gotten away with walking in and holding the door from them after I was inside. I decided to be real polite and open the door and let them in first. This is kind of a big call because it's basically putting me back 3 on line right off the bat. But I was in a good nice mood so what the hell. Plus I guess it's what I'm supposed to do.
I walk in after them and see there's already three people waiting online and now there's three more behind them. Then me. Sort of a long line for Subway. I entertainment myself by looking at the chips and deciding which kind to go with. I decided on Cool Ranch Doritos. I figure since I was getting the Jared sandwich I could afford the Doritos fatwise (thus the big face). Anyway as I start moving along the line getting ready to order I notice that one Subway dude behind the counter is sick with like flu or malaria or ebola or something. He's like coughing and sweaty and snorting loud long deep snots. I was completely disgustified. And started to pray that he wouldn't be the guy to make my sandwich. Plastic gloves or whatever I just didn't want Snotty all snotting up my sandwich.
But sure enough... Snotty was for me. .. of course... I step up and Snotty greets me with a quick snort before asking if he could help me. I stared at him and went through like 3 different scenerios of how to handle the situation:
a. Act like I don't know what I'm going to order yet and pass him off to the person behind me.
(mean to the person behind me who obviously had to be aware of snotty and his snotting)
b. Take the sandwich and stop being so germphobic.
(not possible. i couldn't bring myself to eat it and I knew that.)
c. Make up an excuse and leave.
C was the way. After staring at him for a bit I patted myself down and pulled the ol' 'Shoot I forgot my wallet... I'll be back...' move and I wandered off to the burrito place around the corner and to get me and big ol' burrito. Although my head has probably expanded another couple centimeters I think it was the right call.
So that was that today.
Ummm. .. so I need a good closing line for this... let's see...
How bout this?
I guess nice guys finish with a big burrito head!
Does that work? No..?
Eh... It'll have to do...