Musically Declined

Tonite I went out for a couple drinks with a friend of mine and there was like a three piece band in the bar. And they played like classical type guitar type band stuff.  There was one guy who played lead guitar and a dude on rhythm guitar and one with the big standup bass. What do you call that? Classical guitar trio? Jazz I guess. Is it jazz? I don't know from jazz. You can download this now so you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, watching these guys play reminded me about how much I don't know how to play an instrument. 

I started not learning how to play an instrument when I was about 6 years old. I took some piano lessons. Maybe three in all before the german piano teacher flagged me as unpiano and declared to my mom in front of me 'Zee piano... eez not for Tott.'  I remember hearing that and not totally understanding because when I was a kid I assumed everything was for me. But piano was not. Everything wasn't? I guess not.  I never practiced once. 

On to third grade was the 'recorder'. This thing. Everyone in the third grade was forced to try and learn recorder. Some would be chosen to take part in some (i'm sure aurally agonizing for parents) recorder recital. At least half of the class would participate. I was not selected but all my friends were. You know you're bad when in the third grade recorder situation you're flagged as 'sucking'.

On to 5th grade. I picked up the trumpet. Trumpet always seemed cool to play. But it hurt my cheeks and I didn't really have the finger coordination for it. I remember being on stage once during some band thing and pretending to play. Not blowing just fingering. I sucked at it so bad that even I didn't want to hear me play. And the spit valve thing grossed me out a little.

Down the line I dabbled in like harmonica and guitar or whatever. But no instrument ever clicked. I did figure out how to use an acoustic guitar tuner though. Sometimes I think maybe way back in the day if the german lady forced me to practice and kept showing up and demanding I play....  I'd be performing in some like piano bar or at Carnegie hall or wherever. 

But I doubt it. I think she was right. Zee piano... eez not for Tott.

ok bye!