All Natural? All Right?

So I've been having problems with my ears for years. (ears for years. i'm a poet and i didn't know it). (Here's some backstory if you haven't read if you care). 

Anyway, since I did that thing with the sizzley ear stuff, my left ear still hasn't been right. I think it's gotten worse. The right has been alright but the left... not so right. So I've done the sizzley thing a bunch more times because it feels good for some reason. I don't think it's actually helping with anything. Actually I'm pretty sure it's not considering it actually feels good.

Anyway, lately my ear has been making me extra-nuts. Every time I have a free quiet moment to myself my ear chimes in with 'Hey you! I itch! Don't ignore me! Q-Tip me! Hey! Rub! Rub! Rub me! Me! Ear! Me!'  And it's been like a constant distraction. Maybe it's psychosomatic OCD stuff or whatever but whatever. It's been bothering me. I finally started googling around looking for people who might be having the same issue and I found some board and someone recommended this stuff called Ear-eez. It was like all natural or whatever. I guess out of desperation I ordered it. It cost me like $16 with shipping.

Now I assumed this stuff was going to do nothing. I don't believe in vitamins or homeopathic home remedies or any of that stuff. I realized it's really closed minded or whatever but homeopathic natural stuff is always expensive and it seems like scammy or something. I get like, 'Yeah right. I'm gonna take a pill with like rosehips and sea weed and echinacea or whatever and it's going to cure my cold or whatever...right...' I've always been Sudafed. Boom done.

So the last night I was lying in bed thinking about my ear decided to try the stuff. It was a small little bottle. I opened it. It smelled weird. All natural like weird strong oil or something. The instructions said to put some on the end of a Q-Tip and apply it to the ear. (I was pissed cause I ran out of q-tips last week and keep forgetting to buy them and wanted to try this stuff) So I opened the bottle and tilted my head and dropped a a few drops of the stuff right in my ear. I assumed it would do absolutely nothing because it's "natural" -but within a few seconds I realized it was doing something because it started sort of burning.  Not real hot but definitely hott-ish.  I got upset with myself for just dropping weirdo liquid into my ear all willy nilly. I was like, 'Uh oh.' I got scared.

I panicked and ran to the sink and washed it out with water. Then I sat in bed mad because I felt stupid for buying this bottle of burny smelly nothing that cost me like $16. I looked at the ingredients in it. Melelluca, lavender and "essential oils". Uh huh. Essential.

But the next day I realized something. My ear did definitely feel better. Less itchy. Less gross. I was like I'll be a dang frang wanger! That natural stuff kind of hooked me up! My ear isn't 100% or anything but it's definitely improved. 

So now I think I'm gonna rethink all this friggin natural stuff...maybe I'm a bit more of a believer. Maybe I'd even get into it... if I could ever afford to... Eh... or maybe not. Whatever.

Deep inside I think everything is all in my head -and I just gotta figure out the right way to trick me.

ok bye!

tOdd