I got a bad haircut the other day.
You might be thinking... how can I get a bad haircut? I'm bald! The only bad haircut I could get is the one I don't get for few months and letting it 'grow out' or something. But I got a bad haircut the other day.
My regular haircut place 'Joe's' closed which was sad and Joe went to work for another haircut place which was like blocks away. He gave me the card of the new place and I lost it. So I went off to this other haircut place feeling mildly guilty for not finding out where Joe went and going to see him at his new job.
But I went down to this place on Smith Street that's friendly but nobody really speaks english well. I've been to this place one or twice before when Joes got too crowded and let this older guy cut my hair. Our conversations usually revolve around him making a reference to something I had no idea about then days later it'll hit me what he was talking about in the first place.
Like this time I went in and said, 'How ya doin?' And he said accented, 'Not tas good as the guy who sells the snowballs..' I kind of nodded my head pretending I knew what he was referring to and classified it under 'language barrier' and/or 'crazytalk'... But it turns out that during the last snowstorm some guy sold snowballs in Times Square for $1.00. (.50 cents for smaller snowballs or ones that were shaped weird or something). Funny. It was in the Post. But I didn't know it at the time..
Anyway, when I get my haircut I ask for 'zero razor all around' which is like the razor with no guard. It leaves my head decently stubbly. Then he cleans up the back of my neck- and I don't need to go back for a couple weeks or whatever.
But this time out of the blue he busted out this Norelco like three-head face razor shaver and started using it on me! I figured he was going for my neck but he went straight in on the side of my head! I was like, 'Whoa!' He said, 'You know want it dat close?' I looked at the circle that he shaved into the side of my head and felt it. I felt skin.
I was like OMG frickin he just shaved a circle on the side of my head. I had no choice. I let him shave my head. To the skin. I was horrified as he grinded the electric shaver into my head. After he was done I put my glasses on and took a look. Superbald.When I got home I looked at myself and the mirror and got upset. I looked like I was mental! (more so). Psycho maybe (more so). Scary even (more so?). I couldn't believe he made that baldycall for me!
Anyway, I went out with some friends that night and complained about my hair. Whined about how I got this bad haircut. They all kind of looked at me like.. 'dude, umm.. yer bald! What are you talking about?!' I was like, 'Look at me! I look like a psycho!' They were like, 'how much longer is your hair usually..' I was like, 'At least 1/5 of a centimeter longer! I realized I was being ridiculous. It grew in by like.. the next day and looked semi-back to normal.
I just took it all as punishment for cheating on Joe. Next cut I'll track him down.