Old Unfaithful

I feel like I've written too many toilet plumbing happenings but this is what happened so..

Tonite I got into one of those obsessive cleaning moods and just went nuts on my place to the point where I scrubbed the friggin kitchen floor. The very last thing I planned to do was the bathroom and I saved the toilet for last. After the bowl was all shiny and clean I flushed it and felt good. The flush meant I was officially done with cleaning. The toilet was last on the list.  It was time order up some chinese food and watch some tv.

As I'm walking out of the bathroom I hear water splattering on the floor behind me. I turn around and see toilet water flowing out of the top out of the toilet tank. I was like WTF! It was like flowing down the sides of the toilet tank all over the floor. I was like 'Nooo!' I yank off the top of the tank to check things out and water shoots out from this pipe literally up to the ceiling! NOOO! WRONG! WRONG! I was like standing under a toilet water fountain!

I immediately tried to put the top back on but that just splattered the shooting water sideways making more of a mess. And putting the top back on seemed like running away from the problem. So I put my hand over the pipe blocking the shooting water. It was coming out of that pipe like full force.  I felt like I was in a dumb movie standing there mentally paralyzed sopping wet and blocking water shooting from a pipe.  Finally I manned up and realized I needed to shut it off by the valve on the wall.

So I crouched down and started twisting the valve letting the water fly to the ceiling again. It gushed straight up and rained down all over me as I turned the valve all the way the wrong way first then back the other way. Finally the water stopped shooting out. It was quiet again except for the dripping. I stood there sopping wet and cold standing in a puddle. I checked into what the hell went wrong. This is what happened:

Anyway, it's really totally broken. Plumber coming tomorrow. It was the last friggin part of my night of cleaning! The whole thing umm... how can I put this...?

Sucked? Yeah, sucked. That works..

ok bye!