Car Smashee History

I was on the phone with a friend of mine this weekend and she was on her cell phone while driving and she crashed into someone while I was on the phone with her. No injuries or anything but it was weird hearing 'Oh my god!' Then, Smash! Then she said, 'You just heard me get into a bad car accident!' Then the phone clicked off. I was like, 'Oh no!' But I knew everything had to be ok because people who get in really bad accidents don't have time to say a sentence like, 'You just heard me get into a bad car accident!' It was just a fender bender or whatever but it reminded me of my spotty driving record.

Here's a history of my car smashee smashes:

1. 11 days after I got my drivers license I was driving around with a friend of mine and I had all this stuff on the dashboard. We were at a light and when it turned green I made a left and all the stuff slid off the dash and fell on the floor. I looked down to pick it up and basically stayed in the turn not looking at the road, swerving over the double yellow line and smashed into the front of a Town Car stopped at the light going the other way. Panicking I floored my car and riptore down the whole length of the town car. No injuries. Damages. Heavy to both cars. It looked like I must have hit her car going like 60 mph because the accident went on for like over 5 seconds.

2. I was merging onto a two lane road from a on ramp of sorts. A gardeners truck was infront of me. The truck started to go and I looked back and saw I had just enough for me to go too before the oncoming car came. So while looking back I floored my car and to my surprise the gardeners truck hadn't left at all. It was still sitting there. Smash! The hood of my car hit the metal back of the truck. Damage to my car: extensive. Damage to gardeners truck: None.

3. One time it was icy and I was driving my parents car and I was sort of screwing around on the ice and skidded the car into a curb. But the tire hit the high curb flat against the hubcab and I bent the axel. Damage: Greater than it originally seemed. I knew something was wrong because I drove straight home but the steering wheel looked like it was turned to the right the whole time.

4. I was at school and there was an ice storm. I had to get my car and drive it across campus for some reason. Big thick ice covered my car. Instead of cleaning off my whole windshield I just cleaned off like a box of vision and then drove it like a tank. I figured I only had to drive a few blocks. Along the way I drove straight into a parked Trans-Am. Damage to my car: not too bad. Damage to Trans-Am: extensive, as I shifted the whole body of the car off its foundation or something.

5. I was driving along on a two lane street in the right lane next to a tow truck. I stayed in his blind spot for a while and he swerved into me smashing my car up. He was really mad at me for driving in his blindspot. I thought he was gonna hurt me. He ended up towing my car away himself to the gas station. Damage: extensive. Technically not my fault.

6. I was screwing around with a friend of mine and we were racing. He was behind me trying to keep up. All of a sudden I decided hook a u-turn like in the movies or something but then saw another car was coming and I slammed on the brakes. For my friend, me slamming on the brakes was very out of the blue considering we were racing. He smashed into the back of my car and messed up his car bad. Surprisingly no damage to my car. We got in a fight about that one because it was my fault totally but his fault technically.

7. Was driving in some suburban area and decided to hook a u-turn and swerved up over a curb into an overgrown empty lot. I smashed into a big rock that was hidden by high weeds. Damage to car. Not too major. Some bumper damage but it was a big surprise considering I was all ladeedah cruising through the weeds.

8. Was driving up the west side highway not going fast because there was a decent amount of traffic. I was programming in radio stations because they got reset when the battery died or something. All of a sudden realized I was looking at the radio for way way too long- when I looked up the road had split and there was one of those road islands dead ahead. I drove up on it and blew out a front tire. No serious damage but I was shaken up because it made a loud noise.

Other accidents I was involved with me not driving:

- I was in a friends new cherokee and we went off road driving crazy and he headed straight for a chain link fence. He planned to slam on the brakes and skid up close to it but it was muddy out and we smashed right thru the fence. The bottom of the fence went over the hood putting zigzaggy scrape marks all over his new car.

- A friend of mine had a sports car. We were driving too fast in the snow and someone ran a light and we slammed on the brakes but it was too late. We skidded for a while and slammed into them. My friend told me that I covered my eyes with my hands as we skidded into it. 

- Back in high school days a friend of mine slept over my house after I threw a party while my parents were away. In the morning I had to go somewhere but my friends giant Chevy Impala was blocking my car so I got in and planned to roll his car back a ways to clear space. But he had one of those wheellocks on his car that went from the steering wheel to the brake (sort of a pre The Club thing) and it prevented the brake from working. I didn't realize it did that and put the car in neutral and started rolling back. The car picked up speed and the brake wouldn't work! I panicked and opened the drivers door my foot down on the driveway trying to stop the car like Fred Flintstone. Dint work. It rolled down the driveway and across the street and over the neighbor's mailbox. I had to leave the car up on their lawn while ran back in the house and I woke up my friend demanding his carkeys in a panic. 

And one for the road a non-accident:

I was driving with a friend of mine back in the highschool days and our girlfriends were in the backseat. We were leaving a bowling alley and waiting at a light to turn onto the boston post road. I saw a spider over my head and freaked out. I tried to slap it out the window but instead it dropped into my lap. I jumped out of the car and ran away brushing at my clothes freaking out. When I looked back everyone in the car was yelling because the car was still in gear and started going and cruised through the light and right out into the Post Road with no driver in the driver's seat. The girls were screaming like nuts. Finally my friend pulled up the emergency brake. No crash tho. Phew.

There's others I'm forgetting I'm sure but there's that for now. I feel very fortunate and thankful that thru all the crazy bad driving I never really got hurt or hurt anyone at all. Which is sort of surprising considering how bad of a driver I was. Maybe it's for the best that I don't have a car anymore...

ok bye!


PS don't talk and drive or drink and drive or be stupid and drive.