The Dr. Pepper Pistachio Splosion
So something happened to my Dr. Peppers. Not sure if my fridge is turned up too high or what but the Dr. Peppers all in my crisper tray turned into sodas that looked like they were on the brink of sploding. Like this one here:
That's a full can and it looks like looks like it's gonna splode, yknow? So I was gonna write about what happened to the cans. And how they look like jiffypop soda sploders. And it how it made me paranoid to even hold one because I was afraid it was gonna splode and blow my hand off whatever. I held it in my left hand for the picture because I figured if it went off I'd only lose my stupid hand and not my smart hand. Anyway, I threw it straight away into the trash. And when it landed I swear I thought it sploded because stuff flew up out of the garbage when it hit. Like a soda grenade. But it wasn't a splosion. What happened was I had a hard plastic plate with lots of pistachio shells like face up on the top of the garbage. So when I threw the can in, it hit the plate it and sproinged the pistachio nuts into the air all over the place. See?
I jumped back when it happened. I know you're probably like, 'So what? this is a dumb story!' And you're right it might be a dumb story. But I did get scared that the soda did actually splode when the shells flew out. So you're probably like, 'What's wrong with you. You're scared of a soda can and nut shells?' Well go look at the can again- does look like it's gonna splode! The idea of throwing it in the garbage thinking it might splode then seeing an splosion of shells fly out of the trash? And getting scared? That's not a good story? No? Well fine! Be that way! I'm just telling you what happened! You don't have to be all snippy and judgemental! It wasn't the worst story ever! Oh it might be? Probably is, you say? Well fine now you're just being dickish to be a dick! So why don't you go over to some other site and read their good literary type stories or whatever. Stories that don't say things like 'whatever' and 'like' and 'splode'! Stories that don't involve Dr. Pepper and pistachio nuts and close call spolsions! Whatever! Be that way! Whatever!
PS. sorry bout the outburst. close call splosions put me a little on edge...
PPS. I took the other pictures off my camera too. Here they be. They're from yesterday.