Subway Shover Strategery 

Whenever I'm waiting for the subway I get paranoid that someone is gearing up to shove me into the tracks. So I have a checklist that I go over when a train approaches. First, I look over my shoulder for anyone who looks mental or angry or "too nice" or "too normal" or is wearing t-shirt that has a product on it or something. If I see a potential shover I'll move away. If not, I'll turn sideways just in case I misread the people behind me and there is in fact a shover among em. Standing sideways helps because I will be able to push back against the shover by shifting my weight to the leg facing the train. I also sometimes try and stand next to a column so I can latch on to it as an extra safety measure. Sort of like an emergency brake.

If those all precautions fail, I do have a plan for if I do get shoved off the platform and land on the tracks. I decided that since I most likely can't jump back up on the platform with a backflip like Neo (I assume this to be true) as soon as I land on the tracks I should immediately start rolling or crawling and make sure I'm rolling or crawling off the tracks. Rolling or crawling down the tracks towards or away from the train wouldn't be a good train avoidance technique. However if the train is speeding too fast and the roll or crawl away is not possible- I'll resort to Plan G which involves grabbing the underside of the train as it passes over me to avoid going too far under. Like just put my hands up and grab the first thing that I can grab. Even if it's hot I'll still need to hold on. The train will be slowing at that point so I'd just need to hold on for a a few seconds and get dragged a bit down the tracks- but under my terms!

When push comes to shove I wouldn't need this extensive plan if I just stood farther back on the platform away from the tracks as I wait for the subway. If I was far from the edge it would take a very ambitious shover to shove me all the way across the platform and off the edge- which would be unlikely because I've already planned for that too. If a shover tries to shove me all the way across the platform (I call this the 'sumo shover technique') I believe the best thing to do is fall to the ground straight away. I think shoving back might cause me to get tripped up and stumble backwards (like a loser sumo). So I'd recommend a drop to the ground at the first sign of shove in this scenario. This isn't a contest! Forfeit!

Of course standing back from the edge of the platform is way safer in general. In fact most shovers wouldn't bother with someone far from the edge in the first place.  So if I'm so worried about shovers and being shoved, why I don't I just stand all the way away from the edge? Like with my back to the wall or something?

I dunno... that seems sorta paranoid.

ok bye!