BumbleBee Conspiracy Theory!

First off thanks to everyone who have sent me cans of tuna! Here's where I stand with my tuna progress:

I've tried:

StarKist Solid White Albacore Tuna in Water
Progresso Light Tuna in Olive Oil

Will try these soon:

Season Solid White Albacore Tuna in Water
StarKist (pouch packaging) Chunk White Albacore Tuna in Water
Rubinstein's Solid White Tuna
Geisha Solid White Tuna (i got a bunch of these)
Geisha Chunk Light Tuna
Snackmaster's Ahi Tuna Jerky (original)
Mary Lu Pacific Albacore Tuna
Chicken of the Sea Solid White Albacore
BumbleBee Chunk Light Tuna "Touch of Lemon" in Water
BumbleBee Prime Fillet Solid White Albacore in Water

So I guess I got alot of tuna to eat. Not so sure this whole 'Quest for the Best Tuna' was the most brilliant idea because that's alot of tuna. But anyway here's my theory about BumbleBee.

A few people sent me this new BumbleBee Prime Fillet thing. I had never seen it before. It's like brand new I guess:

The label is printed upsidedown on the can to make it look special or whatever. Anyway... 

I'm on to you BumbleBee! With your new fancy tuna! I know what you did! You took your regular Solid White and made it grosser and cheaper somehow and then took the good tuna that you used to put in the regular can and put it in the new fancy can! And pretend it's new and improved and 'premium'! To make it seem so much better compared to the old kind! Cause now the old kind is gross catfood now! Ripoff! Your friggin marketing scheme is exposed, Bumblebastards! I knew something changed with your tuna! I knew it got gross and smelly! And now I know why! To make this premium taste better!!!!

See BumbleBee! You're not as smart as you think you are! And guess what! Even if this tuna IS the best tasting tuna (I haven't tried it yet) you're automatically DISQUALIFIED from my Best Tuna of all Tuna contest! For changing a product I liked to sell your new product! 

I knew it! I knew it got gross! I knew it smelled different! Something changed! Something was wrong! I wasn't crazy! There was a reason!

So I say F-U BumbleBee! For trying to make something seem better by only making something else worse! Do you see what those bumbleboneheads did?! 

Hey Bumblebastards! Take your fancy schmancy gold upsidedown cans and shove em! You don't fool this tunaconsumah! Boycott BumbeeBee! Boycott BumbeeBee! They're launching a new marketing scam plan! I know it! You're totally caught Bumblebitches! You've been snagged in your fishing net of lies!

ok bye!


PS. If you don't know what I'm talking about here's where it started.