Evaporation or Mustard Gnomes?

So today I decided to sit down and eat some pretzels and dip them in mustard. I'm not a big mustard guy. Usually on my sandwiches I go with mayo but I always have mustard around. I went to my fridge and looked at my mustards. They probably range from a couple months old thru like a year or whatever. Anyway, I'm not sure what happens with my mustards but they all looked like this:

The thing about it is I definitely didn't eat all that mustard. There's no way. I don't even like the one on the left. So the question is where did the mustard go? I've decided it's either one of two things:

1. Mustard evaporates over time.

I guess this is a possibility but I'm not sure how it totally disappears that way. Like would a half a jar of mustard just up and disappear? Why would it? And wouldn't it leave behind like more crusty mustard remnants? There's just no way I've gone through that much mustard. I eat it probably as much as my jelly and those jars are half-filled+ as I would expect. I guess maybe there's some weird breakdown with mustard which would explain things.

2. Mustard Gnomes.

They live behind the fridge where they have set up hammocks. They wear yellow overalls. In the middle of the night they emerge from back there and pry open the door. Maybe use my big metal stirry spoon as a crowbar. Then they climb the shelves of my kitchen door carrying tea spoons. Then screw off the tops of the mustard and go to town. They live on mustard. They party with mustard. They swim in the mustard. Mustard is everything to them. They sing mustardy songs. They worship Colonel Mustard. Mustard and them are one. So why don't the gnomes just steal the jars you ask? They don't steal the jars because they want to make sure I am reminded to buy more mustard by constantly showing me that I'm running out of mustard. And then I'll buy more. They're smart that way.

It's definitely one of the two because I know for a fact I didn't eat all that mustard.

ok bye!

tOdd

*sarah sent this in. :-)