Russian Computer Guy
So yesterday the guy Dell sent out came over to put a new hard drive in my computer because my other hard drive fried out. He was a big Russian dude with the loudest leather jacket I'd ever heard. Every time he swung an arm it was like loud. Like squeaky shoes but jacket style. He walked into my apartment and here's how the conversation went:
Me: Hey you want a soda or something?
Russian: No. Me put in hard drive. Then I go.
(I watch him pick up my computer tower and set it down on the floor in front of him all rough. bang! then he rips it open like it's the hood to a car or something. I cringe.)
Russian: You have second hard drive.
Me: Yeah it's backup.
Russian: You want keep?
Me: (My god yes!) Yes please..
Russian: As slave? ('slave' is the term for the backup drive hooked up to the main drive. the main drive is the 'master'. computers are kinky.)
Me: Before we do that can we try and see if we can get any info off the fried hard drive? Like if we maybe try to umm...
Russian: Me put in hard drive. Then I go.
Me: Oh. Ok. I'll try something later.
Me: Hey I think Microsoft Service Pack 2 might have done this. Do you think maybe it did?
Russian: Maybe. Maybe not.
He works away at my computer his jacket crinkling away (maybe 'crinkling' ain't the right word for the noise his jacket made. what's the word for that squeaky sound? is there a word for that yet? for like the squeaky shoe or squeaky jacket leather noise? if not I'd like to try and name it. how bout it's called 'Squicking'. Like listen to his shoes squick. Or look at her squicking away in her big coat. How's that? Hmm.. 'squick' is a little familiar. if it's already taken i'll think about something else...)
Anyway, I started looking over the Russians shoulder..
Me: Hey! Why are those ribbons like so short? What's with that? They're so like...
He looked back at me and like stared at me for a second.
Russian: Me put in hard drive... then I go.
The russian then slammed my computer shut like it was a car trunk (Slammed in the way people used to slam the trunk of my old car when they took something out of it. Like it was a car from the 50's or something. Like full strength slam. It would make me nuts. I'd be like, 'It's a honda! Hydrolics! It doesn't need slamming!' I miss that car.)
Anyway, the russian packed up his stuff and said:
Russian: Me use toilet?
Me: Sure it's over there.
He stayed in there for an uncomfortable amount of time... then he go. Squicking his way to his next job.