Unsimply Saying Hello
So last night I went out with a friend of mine to see this guy named Robyn Hitchcock play a show in the city. I've been listening to his music since the 80's and have been a huge fan for a long long time.
Here's a no-flash picture I took at the place last night:
Anyway, the club was pretty small and after he was done playing he was on stage by himself sort of gathering stuff up and I decided to go up and say hello. I was like super nervous but I felt like it was an opportunity I shouldn't pass up. I mean he's standing right over there not talking to anyone. Why not say hello? Would I be bothering him? I dunno. Just go. All jittery I went over things in my head. What to say. What not to say. Don't say anything dumb. Try and make like a good memory that's good and not a bad memory that's bad. Don't choke and blow it by throwing out something like, 'So... do you like... umm... musical... things?' Or something superdumb. Or teenage girly. I was nervous that if I did say something dumb, when I listen to his music later on there would be some vague reminder that I was a dope in front of him.
I walked up to the stage and said hello and told him he played a good show and I've been a fan for a long time. No problem there. Cool. He said thanks and started talking about how the airplane air dries out his throat or something. In my head I was on a loop.... "I'm talking to Robyn Hitchcock. He's right there. I'm talking to Robyn Hitchcock. He's right there." And then some other voice in my head is like, 'What are you friggin 12 years old? Jeez louise! Relax! Big friggin deal! He's just some nutter who plays guitar! He's not the President of the World or whatever...' Then the other voice would say, ' But you're talking to Robyn Hitchcock! Right now! He's right there!' And the two voices went at each other in my head. Which of course left me not really talking to Robyn Hitchcock. I just sort of stood there and nodded like a dope. After he was done talking I couldn't think of anything else to say. I guess I had said it all. Then someone else came up to him and started talking to him (which was a relief) and I wandered off.
I'd think now that I'm a grown-up (supposedly) and understand that people are people and they do what they do- it shouldn't be a big deal to say hello to someone. But I guess it'll always be weird to meet someone that has been around in your life in one way or another over the years-- but you've never actually met them. Then one day, there they are being whoever they are... and there I am being whoever I am... which in this case was a grinning freak with nothing to say because I couldn't hear anything over all the hero static commotion frying in my head.