Scientology Exposť Flop

So today I was walking around and I saw that the local scientologists were giving out a 'free stress test'. I guess the test is some tool to get people started in scientology or something. I've never had any interest in scientology but I am curious to know the "recruitment process". So I decided to sit down with the scientologists and let them work their stress test mojo on me -- then the plan was I'd come back here and write a big expose on their secret ways and how they tried to get me to go scientologyey and stuff. Not sure why that seemed like a good idea...

Anyway, I sit down with this lady and she hands me two metal cylinders that are hooked up to a meter. She tells me that they measure my stress level about different things. She's like, 'I want you to think about work...' Then she'd look at the meter. Some movement. Then she was like, 'Think about your family any conflicts there or whatever.' Then she'd watch the meter. Then she said, 'Think about what gives you the most stress.' Then she'd look at the meter again or whatever. Relationships. General stuff. Whatever. Blah blah. Sometimes the meter would go up. Sometimes it wouldn't.

She starts asking me some personal type questions about what I do. And I answer everything pretty honestly. She gives me a pie-in-the-skyish 101 positivity no negativity type spiel- then she pushes the book Dianetics on me. I told her I already had it. (I think I actually do have it around here somewhere. I tried to read it once ages ago out of curiosity but i whatevered it after page 3.) But whatever, I was keeping an eye out for potential scientological sneaky ways. For the big scientology hook. When are they gonna want to get my personal info and come to my place? When are they gonna invite me to the church where they'll be like some eyes wide shut-ish initiation ceremony with hot chicks or whatever? When are they gonna ask me to take the blue pill? When do I get my brain washed?!

But there was none of that. After a bit of time she just told me good luck or whatever and gave me a questionnaire to fill out and send back in if I wanted. I tossed it out when I got home and that's that. I guess their recruitment process isn't that hardcore or sneaky (or maybe they spotted me as a jerky spy guy or whatever).

Anyway, so this whole thing is sort of a bust. I wanted to come back here and tell you a big secret story and blow the lid of some scientology secrets and be like 60 Minutes or whatever. But nay. No good story. No sneakyness. No brainwash (as far as I know...). No juicy expose...

.... and no coolio eyes wide shut-ish initiation ceremony, dangnambit!

ok bye!


PS. Here are some pics for the week!