Unmanly Man Me
So they've been busy tearing up the apartment right downstairs from me for the last few weeks. They're totally gutting the whole place. All day there's like smashing and hammering and drilling and sawing and stuff. Plastic all over the hallways and down the stairs. It's been a little weird because I used to be in this building alone during the day -but now there are worker guys all over the place. At one point they came up here to smash a hole in the wall to get at some pipes. I'm jealous that they get to smash and stuff. Smashing is cool. Occasionally, they ask me to do stuff or not do stuff. Like 'turn on the faucets'. Or 'don't flush the toilet for a few hours' (I had a close call with the toilet request because I came a wristnotch away from flushing by accident TWICE during the flushing hiatus- because I forgot. Finally I shut the toilet lid and put a bottle of listerine on top to be safe.)
The problem is I'm starting to feel really unmanly. Dudes with toolbelts are literally wrecking things downstairs and I'm up here doing whatever I do. Sitting in front of a computer in my robe and my new morning pants, t-shirt and flipflops or whatever. Up here pretty much all day everyday wandering around doing whatever I do. Nothing or stuff ...sometimes.
But because they're around i'm now hyperaware of my unmanly day-to-day activities . Like last week I went downstairs to get my mail around 3 in the afternoon. All that was there for me was one magazine. On the way back up to my place, I passed a couple workers in the hallway who were moving big greasy pipes or something. I gave them a hello in the mostest manly way I could (considering I was wearing a dopey 'I'm-definitely-not-going-outside-today' type of outfit.) When I got to the top of the stairs I looked at my magazine and cringed. I could have at least rolled it up. Umm... See, I got this gift subscription to Us Weekly from a friend of mine (swear) and I get it every week. And there was Nick and friggin Jessica hugging on the cover with an exclusive headline declaring 'We're Not Over!' I'm sure the workers must have seen my girlie-man mag. Uch.
Nick and Jessica may not be over... but me giving off the impression of being any sort of manly man certainly was.